Community Chat

[Deb1010again]

I think I get along with most people on this board and most have a favorable opinion of me. So why is it I tend to focus on the one person or couple of person(s) who think poorly of me? Thinking more broadly, we tend to focus on what might go wrong in a particular situation vs. what will go right. Why is that?

[TaxyLady]

We all don't focus on the negative. But, saying that, most of the posts are of a negative nature. Some people just love bad news etc. or they wouldn't watch all these reality shows.

[Suziepeach]

On 3/8/2014 Deb1010again said:

I think I get along with most people on this board and most have a favorable opinion of me. So why is it I tend to focus on the one person or couple of person(s) who think poorly of me? Thinking more broadly, we tend to focus on what might go wrong in a particular situation vs. what will go right. Why is that?

Deb, I know exactly what you're saying. I learned a lesson or two this very week about someone that thinks poorly of me. I mean I had a lightbulb moment and they don't come easy for me, LOL. You can see them treating a particular someone nasty as the dickens over something yet cuddle and coo over the same thing with another, right in front of your eyes.. Misery loves company and I think that's why people think poorly of others. I think you're a good person & I enjoy posting wit you.. You fit right in with a wonderful bunch of coconuts, baby! LOL We are purse holder buddies!!

[Deb1010again]

That's odd... what happened to my post with bluecollarbabe. It wasn't controversial IMO. That's weird.

Anyway I said I'm not a pessimistic person by nature and tend to be very positive and in a good mood at most times. I just care too much sometimes what other people think. And I'm a people pleaser.

[MikafromTopeka]

Some people don't understand that some of us like discussion and will take up an opposing or intermediary view for discussion's sake. Many will take it as an insult to the original poster.

[BellaPaprika]

I wonder why my saying I'm an optimist deserved to disappear?! Oh, well. Focusing on the negative is a personality trait that you can try to practice getting over up to a point. If you're negative by nature it will come through in focusing on the glass half full. I think being prepared for all contingencies, as for instance when you're traveling, is a good thing. It helps you to be prepared but then you need to relax and enjoy the ride. As for people who don't like you, there will always be some of those. Pity them. They just don't appreciate your good qualities.

ETA: Deb that is weird! I see now that you're not a pessimist so it's that people pleaser thing. I hate to say it but I'm a bit too self absorbed to be a people pleaser. I guess that might be a good thing sometimes!

[Deb1010again]

On 3/8/2014 Suzie said:

On 3/8/2014 Deb1010again said:

I think I get along with most people on this board and most have a favorable opinion of me. So why is it I tend to focus on the one person or couple of person(s) who think poorly of me? Thinking more broadly, we tend to focus on what might go wrong in a particular situation vs. what will go right. Why is that?

Deb, I know exactly what you're saying. I learned a lesson or two this very week about someone that thinks poorly of me. I mean I had a lightbulb moment and they don't come easy for me, LOL. You can see them treating a particular someone nasty as the dickens over something yet cuddle and coo over the same thing with another, right in front of your eyes.. Misery loves company and I think that's why people think poorly of others. I think you're a good person & I enjoy posting wit you.. You fit right in with a wonderful bunch of coconuts, baby! LOL We are purse holder buddies!!

THANKS, you're a doll.

As for the hypocrisy over here, it is a lesson everyday.

[Deb1010again]

On 3/8/2014 kaybee said:

Some people don't understand that some of us like discussion and will take up an opposing or intermediary view for discussion's sake. Many will take it as an insult to the original poster.

I totally get that people have other opinions. I'm talking about people who get personal with their comments or follow you to other threads to harass. I generally just ignore them, but I wonder what I did that rubbed them so much the wrong way. I think in that case it's what you said, they interpret an opposing opinion as an insult and then make it personal.

[~moxie~]

It is because when you disagree you might take the comment too personally and some have a snarky attitude and then the dislikes form. I have snarks following me around but I try to ignore them. When I am personally attacked I ignore that poster and may never have the chance to discover their softer side. But I will not participate in a board that have haters that call me out because they dislike me and try to ruin my experience on the board.

[BellaPaprika]

On 3/8/2014 Deb1010again said:

On 3/8/2014 kaybee said:

Some people don't understand that some of us like discussion and will take up an opposing or intermediary view for discussion's sake. Many will take it as an insult to the original poster.

I totally get that people have other opinions. I'm talking about people who get personal with their comments or follow you to other threads to harass. I generally just ignore them, but I wonder what I did that rubbed them so much the wrong way. I think in that case it's what you said, they interpret an opposing opinion as an insult and then make it personal.

Deb you've always seemed like a pleasant and reasonable poster to me. Only once have I had a poster and her cohorts gang up on me and follow me to another thread and it was obvious that it had nothing to do with what I had posted. They were bound and determined to misconstrue and misinterpret my words intentionally. It's a game and their friends pile on. That's when you know it's about them, their problems and mean spirit and not you.