Re: Why do people make life harder than it already... - Page 17

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

For all of you saying the bank should have accommodated her - how would they do that?

Some of you have suggested that they could have asked for her ID and/or given her a piece of paper to write what she needed.

Are those not the very things I have been suggesting that she do all along? And yet when I suggested them, I am labeled uncaring and unsympathetic, lacking in compassion, judging, etc. etc. etc. So I guess had I been the teller and asked her to do any of that, you would have wanted her to file an ADA complaint against me.

Wow. Just wow.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@Isobel Archer

Having been here for many years, it has been my experience, that when someone says something I think outlandish or comes at me with an unreasonable statement, or I detect anger directed toward me from the start, I will not pursue a long conversation with them. It never turns out well. Let people think what they will...they will anyway!!!!

I do thank you for your support and understanding. There is a great article on the English Grammar website on "empathy verses sympathy". The last paragraph really puts it in layman terms so it is understandable. There is also a good one on Psychology Today website. Empathizing actually is a deeper form of compassion. I studied this years ago and that is why I use that word and like it better....... except in cases of death.

I tried to copy it on my blank post but it didn't work and I didn't try again. I guess I thought at this point, peoples minds were set and wouldn't be open to read it. You might like it though. Almost everything you said made great sense to me and is mentioned in these articles. I'm with you on this one! My (unasked for) advice would be to end it. God knows what's in your heart. That's the most important thing and I don't want to see you hurt.

MacDUFF · ‎05-29-2015

@jubilant

I just wanted to pop in and say that, if I were inclined to make a list of unsympathetic posters on these forums, you wouldn't be anywhere near the list. You're one of the nicest, best posters.

@Isobel Archer

Bravo, lady!

~~~ I call dibs on the popcorn concession!! ~~~

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

Thank you, MacDuff.

The original Juju · ‎11-13-2017

Some people learn the hard way or may have a struggling IQ. It happens to us all all some times, I've had my share of goof ups.I have ADHD so I get into unusual messes sometimes.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@jubilant wrote:
@Isobel Archer

Having been here for many years, it has been my experience, that when someone says something I think outlandish or comes at me with an unreasonable statement, or I detect anger directed toward me from the start, I will not pursue a long conversation with them. It never turns out well. Let people think what they will...they will anyway!!!!

I do thank you for your support and understanding. There is a great article on the English Grammar website on "empathy verses sympathy". The last paragraph really puts it in layman terms so it is understandable. There is also a good one on Psychology Today website. Empathizing actually is a deeper form of compassion. I studied this years ago and that is why I use that word and like it better....... except in cases of death.

I tried to copy it on my blank post but it didn't work and I didn't try again. I guess I thought at this point, peoples minds were set and wouldn't be open to read it. You might like it though. Almost everything you said made great sense to me and is mentioned in these articles. I'm with you on this one! My (unasked for) advice would be to end it. God knows what's in your heart. That's the most important thing and I don't want to see you hurt.

Thanks for your support in this too. I'm not likely to be hurt by the comments. And I know I should just let them go, but sometimes I just have to call some of the nonsense out - even as I know it will not change their minds.

I just get so tired of folks deliberately misrepresenting what someone said in order to portray themselves as more caring and virtuous.

And in my case, it's just hysterical that the very thing I suggested all along is now what they say "should have been done" in order to accommodate her.

skuggles · ‎11-20-2013

I don't think that this was about the distinction between empathy and sympathy at all. I don't think mocking incredulity fosters good discussion either. I think that this was really about implicit bias regarding the disabled. As a society we need more people willing to engage in critical self analysis of their positions, myself included, to uncover the bias and be willing to even entertain it for long enough to shed light. We are all driven by cognitive biases of all types, and they can be difficult to overcome.

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

@skuggles wrote:
I don't think that this was about the distinction between empathy and sympathy at all. I don't think mocking incredulity fosters good discussion either. I think that this was really about implicit bias regarding the disabled. As a society we need more people willing to engage in critical self analysis of their positions, myself included, to uncover the bias and be willing to even entertain it for long enough to shed light. We are all driven by cognitive biases of all types, and they can be difficult to overcome.

It IS a two-way street, though.

She said she was ‘mocked, insulted & misjudged” due to her disability.

I could say the same...she assumed, as someone who does not stutter, I mocked, insulted & misjudged her. Nope...not true. I’m offended she said that about me. With this, and many other articles she has written stating the same thing, she made a mass generalization and in turn, insulted the group she wants not to insult her.

Not cool, Ms. Hoge.