Why do people make life harder than it already is? - Page 15

Maudlynn · ‎06-21-2017

@Isobel Archer wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
@jubilant wrote:
While I empathize with this woman's problem, I can't help but think of people who, first of all, realize that they almost always have options and,secondly, look for them!

It is well within this ladies ability to choose her options more wisely and, in the process, she would be helping herself to a better life, not waiting for everyone to accomodate her. If you wait for other people to solve your problems, imo, you will be in for a long wait. In the end, she would make more thoughtful choices and it would be a confidence booster for sure! Empathy for people with disabilites is fine. Sympathy, not so much.

@jubilant No sympathy for people with disabilities? I’m shocked you feel that way.
Here it is, the quote:

”Empathy for people with disabilities is fine. Sympathy, not so much.”
Here is the entire quote. She's talking about the behavior not the condition - but surely you knew that.
It is well within this ladies ability to choose her options more wisely and, in the process, she would be helping herself to a better life, not waiting for everyone to accomodate her.If you wait for other people to solve your problems, imo, you will be in for a long wait. In the end, she would make more thoughtful choices and it would be a confidence booster for sure! Empathy for people with disabilites is fine. Sympathy, not so much

Still no bueno, even in context.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@Maudlynn wrote:
@Isobel Archer wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
@jubilant wrote:
While I empathize with this woman's problem, I can't help but think of people who, first of all, realize that they almost always have options and,secondly, look for them!

It is well within this ladies ability to choose her options more wisely and, in the process, she would be helping herself to a better life, not waiting for everyone to accomodate her. If you wait for other people to solve your problems, imo, you will be in for a long wait. In the end, she would make more thoughtful choices and it would be a confidence booster for sure! Empathy for people with disabilites is fine. Sympathy, not so much.

@jubilant No sympathy for people with disabilities? I’m shocked you feel that way.
Here it is, the quote:

”Empathy for people with disabilities is fine. Sympathy, not so much.”
Here is the entire quote. She's talking about the behavior not the condition - but surely you knew that.
It is well within this ladies ability to choose her options more wisely and, in the process, she would be helping herself to a better life, not waiting for everyone to accomodate her.If you wait for other people to solve your problems, imo, you will be in for a long wait. In the end, she would make more thoughtful choices and it would be a confidence booster for sure! Empathy for people with disabilites is fine. Sympathy, not so much

Still no bueno, even in context.

Because apparently it is only compassionate when you see someone in her position as helpless and consigned to suffer constant humiliation - rather than suggesting that she actually has the ability to empower herself.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@Deanie wrote:
@suzyQ3
I have noticed that in the past you seem to take offense at my posts. It is troubling that you do not have an ignore button to just turn my posts off since they bother you so much. However, may I suggest an alternative to assuage your sensibilities, just pay no attention to me. I will not be offended. And, for this I thank you for the gracious gesture in advance.

@Deanie, I appreciate your letting me know this. I can't recall your posts other than the one on this thread to which I responded.

I try not to respond to posters per se but to their comments, even though I do usually use the notification process. Rarely do I feel anything personal towards others or from them.

I will continue as before, but if I do reply to you in the future, I will try to be more aware of your feelings.

.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

Leeny · ‎06-24-2011

I have re-read some of the posts and some have asked why people don't have or show compassion with people in these type of situations.

My(opinion) is this, since I have a mother who can't show empathy or compassion. It is called being narcissistic.

Sad, but true. They can't relate due to this personality disorder.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

But I thought narcissistic behavior made everything about you - and expected everyone else to know exactly what you need when you need it - and demanded that everyone always understand and put your needs above all else.

Hmmm.

Preds · ‎12-17-2012

Life is hard and there is no way around it. Yes, we could avoid a lot of additional "heartache" but, why? Sometimes it helps us understand that some are in worse shape than we are. Sometimes it offers us a chance to help in some small way. Sometimes it gets our fur up to make changes. Why would we ignore what is going on outside of our little world? Reality hurts, helps, heals or destroys. I prefer to face it instead of ignoring.

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

skuggles · ‎11-20-2013

I think that to promote a stand that says that the disabled are totally responsible for negotiating a world designed to accommodate a non disabled society without any deference to them and the obvious difficulties they face, is the promotion of a narrow self interest that is morally nihilistic if really think about it.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@skuggles wrote:
I think that to promote a stand that says that the disabled are totally responsible for negotiating a world designed to accommodate a non disabled society without any deference to them and the obvious difficulties they face, is the promotion of a narrow self interest that is morally nihilistic if really think about it.

Wow. So a drive through teller who can't understand the woman who cannot say her name and asks her to come inside is narrowly self interested????

And the woman can't possibly just show her ID - or explain in a note - or apparently even go inside and do the above? No, instead the only thing she can do is drive away and cry - and then, of course, write a column about how the teller, et. al., humiliated and abused her.

So you thnk that's the life she's consigned to - and that there is simply nothing she can ever do to make it easier for herself? No, she must wait for the world to become enlightened to her specific needs - and be alert at all times to meet them?

Personally, I think it's kinder to her to help her see how she can empower herself. But I guess I'm just morally nihilistic - or something.

skuggles · ‎11-20-2013

@Isobel Archer No, I don't think that's what I'm sying. I am speaking in broader terms. Your specific instance is drawing out some generalizations that are imbedded in societal attitudes regarding the disabled. I am just exploring ways to conceptualize any truths if they in fact exist, in our thinking and treatment of them. You don't have to be facetious. your answer really begs the question as to the morally correct position and if there is one. You are implying that she should make accommodations for the non-disabled world. Is that who should make accommodations? Or can the world move away from their previously more narrowly conceived designs to allow those with limitations to function in it without great frustration resulting from the difficulty.