Re: What kind of friend is this?

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@MoJoV wrote:
Jannina, you have a right to your feelings. No one should be telling you how to feel. My feelings would be hurt,too. Beyond rude to be telling you "to work on your negative feelings." Hope everything fets better between you.
I agree and wonder why those awful posts are allowed to stand. Terrible moderation here.
Show me these terrible posts, maybe they have been deleted and that is why I am missing them. I see nothing here that is awful. Just because someone doesn't agree with the OP or how she is seeing the situation does not make these awful or mean posts, they simply disagree.

If this is how you overreact to the perceived wrongdoing to the OP it is clear why you would over react on the perceived "awful" posts.
I have read your posts before and you were compassionate. Don't know what has gotten into you today!

Truffle, I promise you I am not trying to be purposely contrary, I really am not. I just don't see any post that were awful. I think and it is my opinion that you are over reacting a bit. Cancer is a serious thing I do understand her friend helped her through it but people have their perception of life changed many times going through it and I just don't think not informing her about a trip is something that would not even ping in my radar. We will have to agree to disagree.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

I can't even imagine calling out someone who has been battling cancer.

Good grief, she must still be exhausted and worried, who would begrudge her a little r&r with family?

Let it go, when we give to someone we care about we do it for love, not to get anything back or view them as owing us.

truffle · ‎01-04-2016

@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@MoJoV wrote:
Jannina, you have a right to your feelings. No one should be telling you how to feel. My feelings would be hurt,too. Beyond rude to be telling you "to work on your negative feelings." Hope everything fets better between you.
I agree and wonder why those awful posts are allowed to stand. Terrible moderation here.
Show me these terrible posts, maybe they have been deleted and that is why I am missing them. I see nothing here that is awful. Just because someone doesn't agree with the OP or how she is seeing the situation does not make these awful or mean posts, they simply disagree.

If this is how you overreact to the perceived wrongdoing to the OP it is clear why you would over react on the perceived "awful" posts.
I have read your posts before and you were compassionate. Don't know what has gotten into you today!
Truffle, I promise you I am not trying to be purposely contrary, I really am not. I just don't see any post that were awful. I think and it is my opinion that you are over reacting a bit. Cancer is a serious thing I do understand her friend helped her through it but people have their perception of life changed many times going through it and I just don't think not informing her about a trip is something that would not even ping in my radar. We will have to agree to disagree.

Then you and I are polar opposites!

Melania · ‎06-12-2013

I totally get how the OP feels. She worried and cared about her friend who was gong through serious life changing event. She was good enough for the rough times but not worthy of just a little heads up about her friends plans. If people are close they tell them what is going on so she wouldn't worry more. Not that she needs to report to her but if friends are really close they share the good and the bad.

OP is clearly more of a friend and the friend isn't. Some people are just users who have no qualms doing what she did. Now she doesn't need the OP anymore. Sad.

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@MoJoV wrote:
Jannina, you have a right to your feelings. No one should be telling you how to feel. My feelings would be hurt,too. Beyond rude to be telling you "to work on your negative feelings." Hope everything fets better between you.
I agree and wonder why those awful posts are allowed to stand. Terrible moderation here.
Show me these terrible posts, maybe they have been deleted and that is why I am missing them. I see nothing here that is awful. Just because someone doesn't agree with the OP or how she is seeing the situation does not make these awful or mean posts, they simply disagree.

If this is how you overreact to the perceived wrongdoing to the OP it is clear why you would over react on the perceived "awful" posts.
I have read your posts before and you were compassionate. Don't know what has gotten into you today!
Truffle, I promise you I am not trying to be purposely contrary, I really am not. I just don't see any post that were awful. I think and it is my opinion that you are over reacting a bit. Cancer is a serious thing I do understand her friend helped her through it but people have their perception of life changed many times going through it and I just don't think not informing her about a trip is something that would not even ping in my radar. We will have to agree to disagree.
Then you and I are polar opposites!

I didn't comment on this to upset you or the OP. Please give me the number of the post you find offensive or mean so I can look at them. I have read all the posts and didn't see anything I would consider mean or awful at all but I would like to see the particular post you are referring to.

I have seen people who have had cancer that before hand lived pretty regimented lives and very scheduled. The experience of going through cancer changed them because they realized how life short really is and that changed them. Some became more spontaneous and took advantage of things that came up on the spur of the moment. I can understand her friend was there for her but to call her out and say she could never look at her the same again, I find a little bit selfish. While the OP supported her it was the friend who went through probably the most jolting experience of her life and to go on a 2 week vacation with family after experiencing that without telling anyone is not something I consider anything terrible at all.

I agree with Noel, just the thought that the OP feels she could call her out is bizarre in my opinion and completely unwarranted.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

truffle · ‎01-04-2016

@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@MoJoV wrote:
Jannina, you have a right to your feelings. No one should be telling you how to feel. My feelings would be hurt,too. Beyond rude to be telling you "to work on your negative feelings." Hope everything fets better between you.
I agree and wonder why those awful posts are allowed to stand. Terrible moderation here.
Show me these terrible posts, maybe they have been deleted and that is why I am missing them. I see nothing here that is awful. Just because someone doesn't agree with the OP or how she is seeing the situation does not make these awful or mean posts, they simply disagree.

If this is how you overreact to the perceived wrongdoing to the OP it is clear why you would over react on the perceived "awful" posts.
I have read your posts before and you were compassionate. Don't know what has gotten into you today!
Truffle, I promise you I am not trying to be purposely contrary, I really am not. I just don't see any post that were awful. I think and it is my opinion that you are over reacting a bit. Cancer is a serious thing I do understand her friend helped her through it but people have their perception of life changed many times going through it and I just don't think not informing her about a trip is something that would not even ping in my radar. We will have to agree to disagree.
Then you and I are polar opposites!
I didn't comment on this to upset you or the OP. Please give me the number of the post you find offensive or mean so I can look at them. I have read all the posts and didn't see anything I would consider mean or awful at all but I would like to see the particular post you are referring to.

I have seen people who have had cancer that before hand lived pretty regimented lives and very scheduled. The experience of going through cancer changed them because they realized how life short really is and that changed them. Some became more spontaneous and took advantage of things that came up on the spur of the moment. I can understand her friend was there for her but to call her out and say she could never look at her the same again, I find a little bit selfish. While the OP supported her it was the friend who went through probably the most jolting experience of her life and to go on a 2 week vacation with family after experiencing that without telling anyone is not something I consider anything terrible at all.

I agree with Noel, just the thought that the OP feels she could call her out is bizarre in my opinion and completely unwarranted.

@Irshgrl31201

The OP is not calling out her friend but having a discussion here. If you start from page 1 and read each post I'm sure the familar Irishgrl will resurface but maybe those awful posts were written by some of your friends. I have no idea what's up with you today.

Elvita · ‎09-20-2015

@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
I guess I am not understanding why you would be upset. It sounded like a family trip and for all you know, her family paid for it and if that was the case she was in no position to ask you. Even if she paid for it, it sounded like a family trip and IMO she had no need to tell you. Family trips are family trips. I don't understand AT ALL why you would be upset about that.
She was integral in her healing!!!! A support system who was shunned with the message loud and clear that she was not appreciated enough to be informed.

Big whoop! So she owes her her life now? Geeze!

truffle · ‎01-04-2016

@Elvita wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
I guess I am not understanding why you would be upset. It sounded like a family trip and for all you know, her family paid for it and if that was the case she was in no position to ask you. Even if she paid for it, it sounded like a family trip and IMO she had no need to tell you. Family trips are family trips. I don't understand AT ALL why you would be upset about that.
She was integral in her healing!!!! A support system who was shunned with the message loud and clear that she was not appreciated enough to be informed.
Big whoop! So she owes her her life now? Geeze!

What a cruel thing to say. The OP was worried about her friend.

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

If it really upset me, I would ask her why she didn't mention the trip.

No use in holding it in and letting it fester. People don't know they upset you if you remain silent.

So, I guess either speak up or let it go.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@truffle wrote:
@MoJoV wrote:
Jannina, you have a right to your feelings. No one should be telling you how to feel. My feelings would be hurt,too. Beyond rude to be telling you "to work on your negative feelings." Hope everything fets better between you.
I agree and wonder why those awful posts are allowed to stand. Terrible moderation here.
Show me these terrible posts, maybe they have been deleted and that is why I am missing them. I see nothing here that is awful. Just because someone doesn't agree with the OP or how she is seeing the situation does not make these awful or mean posts, they simply disagree.

If this is how you overreact to the perceived wrongdoing to the OP it is clear why you would over react on the perceived "awful" posts.
I have read your posts before and you were compassionate. Don't know what has gotten into you today!
Truffle, I promise you I am not trying to be purposely contrary, I really am not. I just don't see any post that were awful. I think and it is my opinion that you are over reacting a bit. Cancer is a serious thing I do understand her friend helped her through it but people have their perception of life changed many times going through it and I just don't think not informing her about a trip is something that would not even ping in my radar. We will have to agree to disagree.
Then you and I are polar opposites!
I didn't comment on this to upset you or the OP. Please give me the number of the post you find offensive or mean so I can look at them. I have read all the posts and didn't see anything I would consider mean or awful at all but I would like to see the particular post you are referring to.

I have seen people who have had cancer that before hand lived pretty regimented lives and very scheduled. The experience of going through cancer changed them because they realized how life short really is and that changed them. Some became more spontaneous and took advantage of things that came up on the spur of the moment. I can understand her friend was there for her but to call her out and say she could never look at her the same again, I find a little bit selfish. While the OP supported her it was the friend who went through probably the most jolting experience of her life and to go on a 2 week vacation with family after experiencing that without telling anyone is not something I consider anything terrible at all.

I agree with Noel, just the thought that the OP feels she could call her out is bizarre in my opinion and completely unwarranted.
The OP is not calling out her friend but having a discussion here. If you start from page 1 and read each post I'm sure the familar Irishgrl will resurface but maybe those awful posts were written by some of your friends. I have no idea what's up with you today.