What kind of friend is this?

janinna · ‎07-29-2011

A friend of mine recently went through cancer treatment. I was with her every step of the way. I spent a lot of time getting her through this. She has recovered very well. I used to hear from her daily. I didn't talk to her for a few days, then I saw on Facebook that she and her sister and daughter had gone to Florida for two weeks. She left and never said anything to me. I was quite shocked. She called when she got back and she acted like nothing had happened. I didn't bring up the subject because I guess I feel that she showed her true colors to me. My feelings toward her will never be the same. Am I wrong or should I have called her out on it? We have been friends a long time and I just can't believe she would do something like that to me. You think you know someone.

HappyDaze · ‎06-13-2012

I must be missing something- you are upset because your friend who just finished cancer treatment went on a little well-deserved getaway with her family without telling you before she left? If I am understanding you correctly, I guess I don't see the problem at all and think you are overreacting. If you helped her out of the goodness of your heart, you wouldn't feel she owes you anything in return and wouldn't be upset if she doesn't inform you of her every move. But perhaps your motives to help her weren't completely altruistic?

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

You should have mentioned it to her and told her you were hurt. There may be some explanation for her actions but you'll never know if you don't ask. Obviously she didn't attach the degree of importance to the incident that you did. Perhaps she thought you wouldn't be interested. Who knows? Ask her.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

Why would she have to tell you about the trip? I'm not understanding that. She did call you when she returned. I'd imagine she appreciates what you did a great deal.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

I wouldn't take it as a negative move. She and her daughter and sister decided to have a close family get-a-way. Just the three of them. Try to be happy that she is feeling well enough to be able to enjoy this trip with her very close family members. They probably shared wonderful family memories, etc.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Say Nay · ‎03-12-2010

I'm a bit confused. What "true colors" did she show to you by going away for two weeks?

_____ ,,,^ ._. ^,,,_____

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

I don't understand. Did you want to go along?

♥Surface of the Sun♥

RazorSharp · ‎02-20-2016

Honestly, it sounds like she didn't want to bring it up with you, because she was afraid you may have wanted to go on the trip, too. Perhaps her sister and daughter just wanted it to be a family trip, and she felt it was best to not bring it up. It is obvious from your post that your are a sensitive person and highly invested in your friend's life. I would guess she knows this about you, too, and she may have wanted to avoid hurting your feelings. I wouldn't be angry with her. In fact, the best thing to do would be to ask her about the trip, and let her know how happy you are that she got an opportunity to get away and spend time with her family. If you show her this grace, perhaps she will see that you are okay with her doing things outside your relationship, and she won't feel the need to hide future trips.

sam96 · ‎05-05-2015

I'm not surprised that she wanted to get away with family after finishing treatment. After someone has a big scare line that I feel it's normal.

Ask her about her trip, and tell her you hope she had a great/relaxing time and that you missed talking to her daily! Open the door with the same kindness and compassion you showed during her treatment...who knows? Maybe you've simply misjudged her reasons for not telling you?

Give her a chance to clear the air before assuming the worst. Good luck!

akaburtonfan · ‎12-08-2013

Are you upset because you weren't invited? My question would be do you know who financed the trip? If her relatives paid for it, then it was probably expected to be a family trip.

If she paid for the trip for everyone, then I can understand why you'd be upset. The only way you'll know is by having a conversation with her.

I myself would try to just be happy for her being healthy and enjoying life.