Community Chat

[JBKO]

I am certain I want a relationship. I don't know if now or in the near future. I know for a fact I want to spend my life with  someone.

[Plaid Pants2]

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@DiscountDiva wrote:

I am certain I want a relationship. I don't know if now or in the near future. I know for a fact I want to spend my life with  someone.

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Then relax. It'll happen when it happens. 

We all would like to spend our lives with someone, but that does not neccessairly mean marriage.

We can spend our lives with friends.

You need to be  fulfilled with yourself.

Don't go looking for any man to "compleate" you.

You need to compleate yourself.

When you are happy with yourself, then it doesn't matter if a man is in the picture or not.

This isn't the 1950's anymore. 

A woman can be just as happy, just as fulfilled without a man in her life.

[JBKO]

Well I want a man. I know I don't need one but I am not ashamed to admit that I won't feel complete without one. I know a lot of people feel differently and I respect that. But I don't want to be alone.

[missy1]

They will NOT wait for months, I can tell you that........

[Mz iMac]

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@DiscountDiva wrote:

Well I want a man. I know I don't need one but I am not ashamed to admit that I won't feel complete without one. I know a lot of people feel differently and I respect that. But I don't want to be alone.

Then you need to be very careful.  There are plenty of men out here looking for women who feel the way you do.  They are scam artists. 

If I were you, any man you are interested in and/or serious about, hire a private detective to investigate his background.

Would you settle for a "friend w/benefits?"

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[Drythe]

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@tansy wrote:

I was thinking along the same lines as you, Melania.  Nothing's really changed.  

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Tansy & Melania,

I agree with you both.

And I'll add just IMO, everyone has needs of some sort.  However no one is responsible to meet another's needs if they are not 100% interested and ready to do so.

[Allegheny]

I am not sure how exactly to answer you.  I will say do not compromize your values on someone you first start dating.  If a man really enjoys your company and is interested in developing a relationship he will want to be with you and seek you out without expectations.

You will know.  In fact, you might surprise yourself and meet someone and after a couple months of dating you might find yourself being the instigator of a more intimate relationship.

[Plaid Pants2]

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@DiscountDiva wrote:

Well I want a man. I know I don't need one but I am not ashamed to admit that I won't feel complete without one. I know a lot of people feel differently and I respect that. But I don't want to be alone.

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Don't be desperate for a man. Desperation is a major turn off for a lot of men. Others, will take advantage of that desperation.

You know what men do like? Confidence. A woman who is confident in herself, and with herself. Men see that, and they're drawn to it like moths to a flame. 

You want a man to complement you, like a fine wine complements an elegant meal.

Men are drawn to strong confident women who are already complete with themselves.

Desperation drives men away.

[NC Bandwagon]

Hello, DiscountDiva.

Don't know if this will help, but I'll post the best I can.

1. Never play mind games. A good man hates mind games. Actually, almost everyone hates mind games.

2. Men love a good meal. So if you want to get married one day, learn how to be a good cook. Tip: Most men love meat.

3. Don't let him pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. A good man won't expect a good woman to be easy. If he wants you to be easy, he's probably no good for you.

4. DON'T lower your expectations.

5. If you do end up getting married one day, be sure to tell him that you love him often. Not all men may be lovely dovey, but just like any good person, they like and need to be told that they're loved, wanted and needed.

Well, that's all I can think of really. Though, there's probably women on here who have better advice. Hope it goes well for you.

[dooBdoo]

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@DiscountDiva wrote:

Well I want a man. I know I don't need one but I am not ashamed to admit that I won't feel complete without one. I know a lot of people feel differently and I respect that. But I don't want to be alone.

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If I could impart one thing to you, @JBKO, it would be that it's essential to feel complete by yourself.  Allow others to be a complement to you and your life, but not to "complete you."  If you need another person to complete you, that means you aren't whole.   I think the best gift we can give to ourselves is to learn to love who we are and to be okay, strong, and at peace in our own company.   Once you achieve that, as you meet men you'll know what your expectations are (remember, your expectations are important) and also you'll have a good instinct about how you want to interact with them.

I always found the best thing was to make friends with people who share some of your interests, and a great way to do that is to put yourself in places where those people will be.  Volunteer work, classes, etc., involving things that matter to you and reflect who you are will put you in a place with men who share the same values and interests.

I wish you well.