Community Chat

[hckynutjohn]

No call? No entree! Pretty simple at our home. Family/Friends/Acquaintances all know our rules. Has never and will never be a problem at our home.

hckynut(john)

[Laura14]

I actually have family that just key in the garage code and walk right in.  I feel like I'm in a Laverne and Shirley episode with Leonard and Squiggy.  It's beyond rude.  I would never in my wildest dreams think to do that to anyone, even family.    

[stevieb]

It seems this is a pet peeve of a number of us and maybe of a certain generation. In my parents' day, it looks to have been somewhat more the norm and more acceptable for friends, family, and neighbors to just 'drop by' for a visit. At a certain point, it seems as though the norm changed and now, most of us seem to want a little advance notice and the ability to say yes or no. 

What I really find offensive is when folks drop by without notice and it completley derails other plans. I recall a Christmas Eve a number of years back when my parents and a beloved aunt and uncle who lived on the same block planned to spend a quiet Christmas Eve at my parents' house. We'd all just settled in when old neighbors of my aunt and uncle descended. Claimed they'd stopped at their house and not finding them at home decided to see if maybe they were visiting my folks. This was a couple that none of us particularly liked. Sadly, my aunt and uncle felt compelled to leave and take their guests to their house, It was the height of rude and the height of obnoxious and yet the couple were completely obvlious to the fact that they'd completley upset others' plans. Even more sadly, it would have been the last year with all of us together.

For me, I prefer a little advance notice. If someone I truly enjoy and want to see happens by, I can rise to the occasion, but I appreciate knowing when someone is planning to stop by and visit.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@Laura14 wrote:

I actually have family that just key in the garage code and walk right in.  I feel like I'm in a Laverne and Shirley episode with Leonard and Squiggy.  It's beyond rude.  I would never in my wildest dreams think to do that to anyone, even family.    

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Sounds like it's time to change your garage code .... there's no excuse for not calling before stopping by.

[Jordan2]

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@stevieb wrote:

It seems this is a pet peeve of a number of us and maybe of a certain generation. In my parents' day, it looks to have been somewhat more the norm and more acceptable for friends, family, and neighbors to just 'drop by' for a visit. At a certain point, it seems as though the norm changed and now, most of us seem to want a little advance notice and the ability to say yes or no. 

What I really find offensive is when folks drop by without notice and it completley derails other plans. I recall a Christmas Eve a number of years back when my parents and a beloved aunt and uncle who lived on the same block planned to spend a quiet Christmas Eve at my parents' house. We'd all just settled in when old neighbors of my aunt and uncle descended. Claimed they'd stopped at their house and not finding them at home decided to see if maybe they were visiting my folks. This was a couple that none of us particularly liked. Sadly, my aunt and uncle felt compelled to leave and take their guests to their house, It was the height of rude and the height of obnoxious and yet the couple were completely obvlious to the fact that they'd completley upset others' plans. Even more sadly, it would have been the last year with all of us together.

For me, I prefer a little advance notice. If someone I truly enjoy and want to see happens by, I can rise to the occasion, but I appreciate knowing when someone is planning to stop by and visit.

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Your story reminds of one involving my grandmother. She lived in an apartment building. Every time my grandma had visitors (her brother, his wife, and sister) this neighbor would ring the bell. She would always say she didn't know she had company but would come in to visit! My grandma didn't even like this woman, she was nosy. We would swear she was listening through the wall knowing there were people in the apartment!

[Jordan2]

My next door neighbor (I wouldn't say friend) was gone for 3 months. Now she is back and she does the pop in. I pretended I didn't  hear the bell, but she then called me.  If you want to come by give me a call and I'll let you know if it's a good time or not. When you just stop by you make me have to stop whatever I'm doing and entertain you. I must also add she never invites me into her place. 

[chickenbutt]

Hi Jordan!  Well, I haven't seen this thread for a very long time.   Same here.  Just have the common courtesy and manners to either be invited or ask if there is a good time to get together.  Easy,  no?  

I don't even do company anymore but when I did, that was still the basic rule for me.   What works for others is their business.    But I could never imagine just showing up at somebody's house.

[dex]

I don't like pop ins  either because I hate to be caught a mess while they arrive looking great for their planned visit.I think it is fair to give me the opportunity to prepare if I choose but I think some people do it so "you won't have to go to any trouble"

[ladyroxanne]

very bad manners not to call first, no matter the circumstances.

[Toppers]

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@ladyroxanne wrote:

very bad manners not to call first, no matter the circumstances.

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I agree with this.

There are some of us that are care-givers to others, or we have health issues ourselves where we may not feel up to having guests around. 

As others have said in this thread, it's easy enough to call or write someone and ask about getting together.

I personally can't imagine just dropping in on someone unannounced.

Most people that I know of are busy when they are in their own homes, on their own time. It's their time to spend with their families, or time to get caught up with chores, and so on. I would not want to just drop in on that time unannounced, when I can call first about getting together.