Went to a "black tie" wedding and - Page 13

rrpell · ‎11-01-2010

I view weddings as functions. Someone has invited someone to be their guest.

If guests feel uncomfortable, the hosts are not properly doing their job. Putting a “tip” jar on the table will make some guests uncomfortable. I think for that reason, I would not find it a hospitable thing to do.

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." Nelson Mandela

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

DH and I decided a while ago that we would only attend weddings that were family affairs.

Jars on the table:ridiculous!!! Kinda petty,too!!

And there was no one left to speak out for me....

hennypenny · ‎03-10-2010

@depglass, thought this one was for you-----

yesterday we received from a niece a go fund me for a 10k honeymoon to Europe.

In our town that has just begun to recover from devastation from fire and flood we had go fund me pages to bury babies, to fund surgeries and to find housing for those who lost their homes and belongings. Yesterday morning there was a go fund me established for a man who lost is business to fire and didn't realize that his insurance had just lapsed.

I am totally appalled by this couples go fund me. They both come from extremely wealthy families who could easily afford to send the kids anywhere they wanted. mr henny and I were very upset by this and haven't decided what to do. We definitely will not be contributing, but may say something to the the parents of this "child". I am really relieved that her grandparents are no longer here to see this.

SunValley · ‎04-19-2010

The last wedding I attended had a money dance. It’s not unheard of, but not common either in our area. Most everyone stayed seated and chatted. The DJ kept up a running, very loud, dialogue prompting guests to participate. It was ackward for the bride and groom. No one at my table had small bills, just debit and credit cards in evening bags and wallets.

tsavorite · ‎03-09-2010

@SunValley wrote:
The last wedding I attended had a money dance. It’s not unheard of, but not common either in our area. Most everyone stayed seated and chatted. The DJ kept up a running, very loud, dialogue prompting guests to participate. It was ackward for the bride and groom. No one at my table had small bills, just debit and credit cards in evening bags and wallets.

LOL OMGoodness WHAT? LOL

Tip jars ....go fund me accounts.....and money dancing!! WHat next LOL!

This "new" generation and it's ideas to get more cash just never seems to end! I will be ignoring it all. Guess I am old school....I think a shower gift and a card/money gift for the wedding is just fine and ALL that is needed.

RollTide2008 · ‎02-14-2017

Every wedding I went to in 80’s and 90’s had a dollar dance. I haven’t seen one in years so I don’t think you can blame that one on this generation.

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

@RollTide2008 wrote:
Every wedding I went to in 80’s and 90’s had a dollar dance. I haven’t seen one in years so I don’t think you can blame that one on this generation.

I agree @RollTide2008. Some parts of the country are more noted for the "dollar dance or apron dance" and also the tremendous cookie tables. It is a tradition in many Polish, Slovak or Czech nationalities from days of old. The tradition is still alive in my part of the country and the majority of the guest are well aware and come prepared to partake.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

@RollTide2008 wrote:
I wouldn’t ever use a Waterford picture frame, but I would send a thank you note and pretend to like it.

Everyone can use another picture frame for their photos!

RollTide2008 · ‎02-14-2017

I won’t argue that, but a Waterford frame doesn’t go with anything I have. Seems extravagant for something I legitimately would not use. Why would you want to give someone a gift they won’t ever take out of the box?

Look, here’s the thing. No one from my group of friends would ever buy something Waterford for anyone unless they registered for it. Modern brides are marrying later in life in they did one or two generations ago. They have established careers and their own homes and they already have their own stuff. Their registries, if they even have them, are much different than they were back in the day when young couples left their parents’ houses and established housekeeping for the first time. In my case, I have my own home and he has his own home. When we combine households, the last thing we need is another toaster. I’m not registered anywhere for a reason. While I absolutely agree any mention of gifts on an invitation is tacky, people generally do not go to a party without a gift. So if you’re going to inquire with the bride’s mother what kind of gift the couple might like, please don’t get offended when the answer is cash. It’s because she already has a blender. I can also tell you no gifts are necessary, I just want you to come and celebrate with us, but there are still going to be people who insist on bringing a gift because that’s what we do.

The suggestion to bring donations for the food bank is a wonderful one. I’m pondering the logistics of getting the donations from my venue to the food bank though.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@sidsmom wrote:
@NYC Susan wrote:
@sidsmom wrote:
What I want to know,
with everyone B&Moaning about the Groom/Bride’s decision
to do something at their wedding, why were you invited anyway?

And since there’s such animosity w/ the Groom/Bride,
why the guest go to this wedding?

Geeze....with ‘friends’ like this, who needs enemies?

If I’m invited to take part in a couple’s new chapter in life,
I’m probably pretty close to them....and equally as happy.
I would want to make this experience as special for them
as well as special for me witnessing it.

Happiness both ways.
Try it! It’s lovely!
💞💞

I agree! Would I put a jar like that on the tables at my wedding? No, I would not. But I just can't get bent out of shape about what other people decide to do.

When I go to a wedding, my intention is to share in the joy of the day. I don't feel that I have to agree with every decision they make or every decision they'll make in the future. It's their wedding, their choice. Certainly the guests didn't have guns held to their heads forcing them to contribute. If I felt I wanted to contribute, I would. If not, I wouldn't. Easy breezy. I don't go to weddings with the intent of judging and critiquing. It's far more fun to focus on having a good time and being part of a new beginning.

(And there are some huge generalizations here. Weddings long ago were certainly not all simple. Or perfect. And weddings today are not all extravagant or gift-grabby. There's a very distorted image of "the good old days". Some people had small, simple weddings and others had huge extravaganzas. I know many young couples who recently had lovely, simple weddings and sent thank-you notes promptly, and I have been to at least 3 weddings in the last few years when "no gifts" was specified. Not all young people are gift-grabbers with no morals and no manners, but according to some posters here that's exactly the case.)
@NYC Susan
(slow clap.👏 👏 👏)
Your post is the ‘icing on the cake’!