Went to a "black tie" wedding and - Page 14

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@tsavorite wrote:
@SunValley wrote:
The last wedding I attended had a money dance. It’s not unheard of, but not common either in our area. Most everyone stayed seated and chatted. The DJ kept up a running, very loud, dialogue prompting guests to participate. It was ackward for the bride and groom. No one at my table had small bills, just debit and credit cards in evening bags and wallets.
LOL OMGoodness WHAT? LOL

Tip jars ....go fund me accounts.....and money dancing!! WHat next LOL!

This "new" generation and it's ideas to get more cash just never seems to end! I will be ignoring it all. Guess I am old school....I think a shower gift and a card/money gift for the wedding is just fine and ALL that is needed.

Money dances are extremely common in certain cultures, and have been around for a LONG time. They are long-standing traditions that go back many, many generations. They are not at all a new scheme that was cooked up by the "this new generation". In fact they used to be far more common, and as time goes by, more and more young couples are choosing not to have money dances (and similar traditions) at their weddings.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

I see your point, Roll Tide, but I know this couple well and know that they would appreciate and use a Waterford frame or I would not have purchased it.

Every one is different, but asking for cash is always inappropriate and a Thank You never goes out of style.

sunala · ‎03-09-2010

@grandma petes wrote:
A great solution if they wanted a fancy honeymoon would have been to elope and use the money spent on the wedding for the honeymoon. My husband and I were dirt poor when we got married. We had a small ceremony in his back yard, served cake and coffee while we sat in the middle of the living room floor and opened our gifts. I wore a dress my grandmother made me for our Senior Prom. Very simple, no frills at all. We just celebrated our 43rd Anniversary. If I could do it all over again....I wouldn’t change a thing. The money people spend on weddings anymore is unbelievable.

@grandma petes - hi I knew this was you!!! Beautiful and happy love story for you and Grandpa Petes! May you have another 43 happy anniversaries. Hugs to you and the family XOX

"That's a great first pancake."
Lady Gaga, to Tony Bennett

sunala · ‎03-09-2010

@Caaareful Shopper wrote:
@sidsmom wrote:
Obviously y’all haven’t been to a wedding with a Money Dance.
Worldwide this is a tradition. Would this be ok vs the jar?
Same outcome.
Many different countries and a long-time decades-old tradition.

@sidsmom You are referencing two different things. Cultural customs versus a couple elbowing for a free ride for their honeymoon.

I married a man whose culture does this exact same wedding money ceremony (and baby baptising money ceremony as well). It is indeed a lovely cultural tradition, and only those that already knew about it and wanted to participate actually did. As the traditional music played, we were ushered to the center of the dance floor. As blessings were said all around us, money was attached to our clothes, especially my wedding gown. it's usually just dollar bills, as a representation of prosperity, joy, and happiness blessings for married life (or ushering the same for the child after the baptisims ceremony back at the house).

All of the bills we received were token $1 bills, some were more. We surely couldn't have gotten very far with that tally at the end of the dance.

There is a big difference.

@Caaareful Shopper very interesting story! However, Mister Sunny and I were invited to a Greek wedding, which was just beautiful. Being we'd never attended a traditional Greek wedding, we just did what everyone else did. When the bride and groom danced, everyone started throwing money to them on the dance floor. We really got into it and we began throwing lots of bills (singles) at them, thinking it was for the couple. Someone from the band kept sweeping the money to the side and back of the dance floor. However, we were told afterwards that all the money went to the band, not the couple, which made us feel bad.

Were we being fooled? What's the real story?

"That's a great first pancake."
Lady Gaga, to Tony Bennett

Calcgirl · ‎03-10-2010

@Rockycoast wrote:
@Calcgirl wrote:
Although I think the jar was inappropriate, I also believe someone who attends a dinner reception and gives a cheap gift or no gift is equally tacky. We had that experience at our daughters wedding. My daughter and her groom invited people from his workplace. Many of them gave nil or just a card, but were not shy about eating or drinking. They just st came for the free food! Tacky.
When my granddaughter got married, they only invited family and close friends to celebrate this special day. People who attended loved this young couple and were there to truly celebrate their life long union. There may have been 100 guests ( including children) and they could have easily had 400 if they invited distance relatives , co workers, etc. They wanted this special day to be meaningful for everyone , therefore only close loved ones were included.

@Calcgirl Sorry, but guests attending a wedding are not required to bring a gift. Cheap, expensive, or none at all. They are invited guests. Payment to attend is not required. It is a nice gesture, but that is all it is. You are going into weddings with the wrong mind set, Guests also don't have to give a gift (if they do), that "pays" for their dinner and drinks or is equal to the cost of that plate. You need to peruse some wedding sites and books. It may help you.

I am aware of this fact; however, my personal opinion it is tacky.

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

I've been to a lot of weddings lately and I've never seen anything like this! I do not think this "jar" should have been out at the reception.

Some brides are listing their honeymoon adventures, food, etc. on their registry. One wedding DD was in last year - the bridesmaids went together to give them a one-of-a-kind tropical experience.

DH, the kids, and I gave our former teenage babysitter and her new husband lunch with drinks at their honeymoon resort. That alone was $100!

I had no problem with that, but I miss the days of giving something meaningful. I STILL use my wedding gifts, and when I do I think about the one(s) who gave them to us. But to this generation, a lot of "things" are just "stuff" they're not interested in!

minnietwinnie · ‎06-30-2013

@panda1234 wrote:
there were jars on each table marked honeymoon fund. When is this going to stop? Take a trip you can afford and stop asking for money. Has anyone else seen this?

Never have I seen it but seems to be the new "custom" asking for money to fund weddings and honeymoons.

Witchy Woman · ‎03-15-2010

@panda1234

DH and I just attended a "shabby chic" barn wedding last Saturday.

It was really a charming venue and the young couple was lovely.

They had two jars set on their cake table. One for the bride and one for the groom. You could donate to either and the jar with the most money meant that person could do the "cake smearing" to the other.

No use for the money was stipulated.

Well, that whole cake thing annoys the heck out of me already, but I did donate a few dollars to each jar.

At the end, the bride's jar had over $500! I think the parents stuffed the jar.

Nevertheless, the cake event went forth (ugh). Thankfully, the bride didn't go overboard with it.

Other than that, it was a beautiful wedding.

I think this kind of thing is just the norm now.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@panda1234 wrote:
there were jars on each table marked honeymoon fund. When is this going to stop? Take a trip you can afford and stop asking for money. Has anyone else seen this?

In the invitation we received, for a beautiful summer wedding at the beach, was a request to fund the couple's honeymoon. There was some kind of a company we had to use from the bride and groom to "gift" them. There was even a service fee.

We gave generously because I wanted to help them out with their Paris honeymoon. I would much rather give a young couple what they wanted then a check that I had no idea what they had done with it or some dishes that they would probably have for just a few years. Paris they will never forget.

Elaborate weddings are par for the course where I live. Most of the weddings I have gone to over the years are given by the parents of the bride and quite memorable.

Pooky1 · ‎12-23-2015

my wife and i was invited to a wedding and we were told that there tradition was to have all guests to cook food and bring to reseption. so had to cook food buy clothes and give a gift. we sent a gift but didnt go to there wedding.