Went to a "black tie" wedding and - Page 12

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

My dear friend's son and future daughter in law asked for money as a gift for their wedding. I think that is so tacky, I purchased a Waterford picture frame as a gift. I never heard a word and never got a Thank You card. Oh well...... I never mentioned it to my friend, she thought it was tacky too so I didn't want to upset her more.

RollTide2008 · ‎02-14-2017

I wouldn’t ever use a Waterford picture frame, but I would send a thank you note and pretend to like it.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@sidsmom wrote:
What I want to know,
with everyone B&Moaning about the Groom/Bride’s decision
to do something at their wedding, why were you invited anyway?

And since there’s such animosity w/ the Groom/Bride,
why the guest go to this wedding?

Geeze....with ‘friends’ like this, who needs enemies?

If I’m invited to take part in a couple’s new chapter in life,
I’m probably pretty close to them....and equally as happy.
I would want to make this experience as special for them
as well as special for me witnessing it.

Happiness both ways.
Try it! It’s lovely!
💞💞

I agree! Would I put a jar like that on the tables at my wedding? No, I would not. But I just can't get bent out of shape about what other people decide to do.

When I go to a wedding, my intention is to share in the joy of the day. I don't feel that I have to agree with every decision they make or every decision they'll make in the future. It's their wedding, their choice. Certainly the guests didn't have guns held to their heads forcing them to contribute. If I felt I wanted to contribute, I would. If not, I wouldn't. Easy breezy. I don't go to weddings with the intent of judging and critiquing. It's far more fun to focus on having a good time and being part of a new beginning.

(And there are some huge generalizations here. Weddings long ago were certainly not all simple. Or perfect. And weddings today are not all extravagant or gift-grabby. There's a very distorted image of "the good old days". Some people had small, simple weddings and others had huge extravaganzas. I know many young couples who recently had lovely, simple weddings and sent thank-you notes promptly, and I have been to at least 3 weddings in the last few years when "no gifts" was specified. Not all young people are gift-grabbers with no morals and no manners, but according to some posters here that's exactly the case.)

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Rockycoast wrote:
@Cakers3 Perfect post Cakers! sidsmom's post makes no sense what so ever.

@sidsmom's post makes perfect sense to me!

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

It also makes perfect sense to me.

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

@NYC Susan wrote:
@sidsmom wrote:
What I want to know,
with everyone B&Moaning about the Groom/Bride’s decision
to do something at their wedding, why were you invited anyway?

And since there’s such animosity w/ the Groom/Bride,
why the guest go to this wedding?

Geeze....with ‘friends’ like this, who needs enemies?

If I’m invited to take part in a couple’s new chapter in life,
I’m probably pretty close to them....and equally as happy.
I would want to make this experience as special for them
as well as special for me witnessing it.

Happiness both ways.
Try it! It’s lovely!
💞💞

I agree! Would I put a jar like that on the tables at my wedding? No, I would not. But I just can't get bent out of shape about what other people decide to do.

When I go to a wedding, my intention is to share in the joy of the day. I don't feel that I have to agree with every decision they make or every decision they'll make in the future. It's their wedding, their choice. Certainly the guests didn't have guns held to their heads forcing them to contribute. If I felt I wanted to contribute, I would. If not, I wouldn't. Easy breezy. I don't go to weddings with the intent of judging and critiquing. It's far more fun to focus on having a good time and being part of a new beginning.

(And there are some huge generalizations here. Weddings long ago were certainly not all simple. Or perfect. And weddings today are not all extravagant or gift-grabby. There's a very distorted image of "the good old days". Some people had small, simple weddings and others had huge extravaganzas. I know many young couples who recently had lovely, simple weddings and sent thank-you notes promptly, and I have been to at least 3 weddings in the last few years when "no gifts" was specified. Not all young people are gift-grabbers with no morals and no manners, but according to some posters here that's exactly the case.)

@NYC Susan

(slow clap.👏 👏 👏)

Your post is the ‘icing on the cake’!

depglass · ‎03-10-2010

Why don't they just put up A Go Fund Me page. Its getting tackier and tackier.

Island Bell · ‎07-18-2010

You and your husband are wise. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. Wow on that sweet sixteen. That is just too sweet.

Island Bell · ‎07-18-2010

The frame sounds wonderful. They were tacky on both counts.

QueenDanceALot · ‎04-18-2013

I do think that asking for money as a wedding gift, whether on the invitation or by a jar on the table, is tacky. And I think it's tacky whether it was done in 1953 or in 2018. Or whether it's "cultural" or not. I guess I also think that it's particularly tacky if the couple has spent a mint on the wedding and still ask for money to fund their vacay to an expensive local. That just screams classless to me.

I have not attended a wedding where the couple asked for money, so maybe I'm just not invited to weddings where people follow the accepted custom of asking you for a donation to their honeymoon fund via a jar on the table.