Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,341
Registered: ‎04-19-2010

@Candyapple wrote:
@DiAnne ---- I agree with you. Many times patients wander into other patients rooms and steal clothes, jewelry, etc.. When my mom was in a facility, I saw many patients attempt to go into other patient's rooms. I would stop them and call a nurse. Finally they started putting up baby protector gates to block the patients' doorways.

Wow, just wow.  What State to you live in, @Candyapple?  I ask because this would never fly in NYS -- it would be a safety hazzard and a resident restraint.  

-- pro-aging --

Rochester, New York
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,251
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

One last thing, take a large black magic marker that writes on material. Or whatever, and put your loved one's name on their property. Mark it anyway you have to. Keep valuables at home for them. Nursing homes are so busy, they just can't do it all. Even mark their walkers and wheelchairs. It's a must for protection. JMHO

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,087
Registered: ‎03-10-2016

How upsetting.  Smiley Sad


Will your homeowner's policy cover the cost of replacing the ring?

Occasional Contributor
Posts: 17
Registered: ‎07-10-2013

My father-in-law was in a nursing home for about 4 months before he passed and when it was time to collect his things, his wheelchair was missing.  We had leased that chair for him and the company wanted it back.  We searched the whole place and could not find we went to the administrator and firmly told them that they would have to find it.  Sure enough it showed up a couple days later.  Someone had covered up Dad's name with a throw and was using it.  Also, my brother had a stroke and was in a different nursing home and his clothes kept turning up missing, especially underclothes.  Had to keep replacing them.  He is not married so it was up to me.  Hopefully, I will never have to be in a regular nursing home!

Posts: 41
Registered: ‎12-10-2010

My MIL had dementia and had to placed in a home.  We took her jewelry away so it couldn't be stolen.  After a few months, she appears with a gold band on her finger.  I guess she clipped if from someone...hope she didn't rip it off of a finger.  She was a trip.  Never heard of a theft so I guess that person had dementia too..

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,767
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

This is the exact reason my mom's wedding set is in my safe deposit box.  She absolutely loved her wedding and engagement rings.  Dad saved for quite a while and bought both rings in the 40s on jewelers' row in NYC, a lovely platinum and diamond set. Mom really never had any other pieces of jewelry when I was growing up - their money went to raising 6 kids.


Dad gave me Mom's rings when she was in the hospital after falling down the porch steps.  That's when we were told for sure that she had dementia.   As time has gone on, I've never mentioned them to her because now that her dementia is much worse, she'd lose them for sure.  And Dad would be devastated because he was always so proud that he bought such a lovely set for her.


If Mom had her mind back for just a few minutes, I know she'd be happy I tucked them away instead of taking a chance they'd disappear.  I hate dementia.  It is truly horrific, stealing someone's mind, the only thing that makes us who we are.  It changes kind and loving people into someone their loved ones don't even know.  Awful, heartwrenching disease.  I hope and pray a treatment/cure is found soon.  Smiley Sad

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,415
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

My grandmother was in a nursing home.  She had a diamond and pearl ring on one hand and her diamond solitaire on the other.  My mom had tried to get the rings off, but they wouldn't budge.  One day she visited and they were gone.  Some sick nurse aide/low life probably worked and worked at those babies til they came off.....karma baby, karma.  I told my mom to go to the local pawn shops to look, but she never did, and I lived out of state at the time......

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.... ~ S & G
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,994
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

@tansy wrote:

The facility should have had an ombudsman.  If you've talked to the director of nursing and the owner without results, try the ombudsman.  How upsetting:/

I agree.  When entering any type of facility a complete inventory of the patient's possessions should have been taken, that includes prosthetics, dentures, glasses, clothing, jewelry.  


You or his representative should have been given a signed copy of the inventory.  As far as non essential items, like jewelry, they should have advised to take these items home and notify you in writing that by leaving them with the patient you would relieve them of responsibility should  item(s) go missing.  Or at least this is the way it should work.  


If any further items are brought in during patients stay, they should be marked, documented and insist upon that responsible staff update your relative's inventory.


If this was not done, you should contact the ombudsman or patient representative and file a claim for the value of the ring.  Sometimes just filing a claim will initiate a more thorough search, however you must be prepared that it probably will never be found.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,403
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

@chihuahuamom wrote:

My DH has Alzheimers and lives in a memory care facility.  He has worn his wedding ring since we married 42 years ago and don't think he has ever taken it off. It was not loose, so I did not remove it when he became a resident.  Well, one day when I visited I saw it was no longer on his finger.  I had them search numerous times, and it never surfaced. Now we have moved him to another place and I don't know what, if anything, I can do about that ring.  I was hoping they would at least cover some of the cost in losing it, but so far, they haven't.  What should I do?  Thanks.


When my Mom was in a retirement village until she passed away from Alzheimers,  ALL her jewelry (including her wedding ring) disappeared little by little.  I mentioned it to the "powers that be" and they just dismissed it.  I think this is par for the course at these places.  There was nothing more I could do unless someone actually saw a person taking her jewelry!  Her retirement village was an upscale facility, too!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 37,857
Registered: ‎06-11-2011

@bri20 wrote:

How upsetting.  Smiley Sad


Will your homeowner's policy cover the cost of replacing the ring?

How do you put a value on a ring someone received on his wedding day and wore for over 40 yrs?  If it was a plain gold band, the monetary value is very little with the wear and tear....but it's invaluable to the person who lost it and his family.