Re: We made the right decision....

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

It seems to me the hostess, rather than being passive aggressive, is giving her one last chance. She clearly explained that her comments are rude and her sermons are unwanted.

So if she goes to the party and continues her behavior, if I were the hostess, I would take her aside and ask her to leave.

Pearlee · ‎06-11-2011

I can't believe that woman is ever invited to anything any more. I think the hostess just shouldn't have invited her in the first place. It isn't right to tell a guest how to act or not to act (bad enough to do that if it's a close relative). Just don't invite her. If she stops getting invitations, she'll either figure it out and change or lose all her friends, which she probably deserves to do.

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

I was too lazy to read that whole thing a second time, so I'll admit I don't know the dilemma. She doesn't eat? She complains? She sermonizes? Accept her as she is or cut ties. You don't tell a friend how she may or may not act.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@VanSleepy wrote:
I was too lazy to read that whole thing a second time, so I'll admit I don't know the dilemma. She doesn't eat? She complains? She sermonizes? Accept her as she is or cut ties. You don't tell a friend how she may or may not act.

You didn't miss a thing. There is no dilemna. I was just commenting on the situation and how fortunate I was that fate stepped in and kept me from going to a party that probably was going to be, for lack of a better word, tense. You are 100% correct. I have accepted her as she and when necessary I make adjustments. But our mutual friend, who is the hostess of the gathering, chose to handle it differently. Badly, I think. You cannot reason people out of problems like this.

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

OP--Yes, you have handled the OCD person right and the hostess should not have invited her to the party. It is a compulsive behavior, obviously. My guess only is that the OCD person uses grace at home to stop herself from eating. If she were a religious nut, you would know that. Anyway, this is a terrible social disorder and she doesn't belong at parties.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

There is something wrong with people who are told they are making a scene on a regular basis, but continue to do the same.

She appears to have mental or emotional issues. She seems to have an eating disorder as well.

I can see if you like and can tolerate/understand being with her one on one, and prefer to not invite her to join you in group settings, that makes sense to me. Others shouldn't have to be subjected to her antics and if she is left out, she hold the key to changing that.

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

@chrystaltree, to be honest I am surprised she is still getting invited to places.

Listen I eat healthy too and I don't eat processed foods but if I had such a problem going out and eating at other places and found the need to pick everything apart I don't think I would have very many friends.

Your friend is totally out of line!!!! She has a lot of nerve to be the one upset and I don't think the hostess was wrong at all for saying that. She probably really irritates people and makes them feel uncomfortable and IMO the hostess has an obligation to her other guests to make sure they feel comfortable. If eating outside of the home is such a problem, that is HER problem and she needs to carry whatever she eats with her so that she can accommodate herself. Sorry even though I don't eat a lot of junk and processed foods I don't expect others to be responsible for my diet and how I eat. I either eat before I leave or I just eat whatever I can that they are having. Sorry but eating junk or processed foods or even food I wouldn't normally eat for whatever reason, isn't going to kill me if I do it once in a great while.

I am sorry but I think that someone really needs to sit down and talk to your friend. If that was my good friend, I would do it. Obviously people are really getting to the point where they don't want to put up with it anymore, from what you said in your posts. If she is ok with not having friends and being known as the annoying P.I.T.A. then she should continue acting like she is but if she does care and cares that she hurts peoples feelings when she acts like that, she needs to change. If that were my friend, I would want her to know that so she could re-evaluate her behavior. If she doesn't care, then she won't have to worry about it because she probably won't be getting invited to many more things.

She honestly sounds like a nightmare!

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

IamMrsG · ‎08-29-2010

@chrystaltree I am not interested in being embroiled in an unfriendly exchange with you. Let's not be unpleasant with each other.

Please accept that I made no attempt to accost you in my response to your description of the woman and your friendship with her. My opinion was based solely on the words you chose (and I repeated) to describe the relationship. In that light, your comment to me, "It appears that you are a little foggy as to what being a friend entails," felt snide and uncalled for.

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

The best anyone can do about this woman is to wait until she asks for help. Then encourage her to go to a psychiatrist.

Melania · ‎06-12-2013

@IamMrsG wrote:
@chrystaltree I am not interested in being embroiled in an unfriendly exchange with you. Let's not be unpleasant with each other.

Please accept that I made no attempt to accost you in my response to your description of the woman and your friendship with her. My opinion was based solely on the words you chose (and I repeated) to describe the relationship. In that light, your comment to me, "It appears that you are a little foggy as to what being a friend entails," felt snide and uncalled for.

I missed that comment to you and that shouldn't have been said to you. I think in that vein of defensiveness the OP needs to ask herself just how is her friend being a friend? If she says you don't know what that entails... Where does this friend have the same responsibility? Where is the reciprocation with her?

She goes out of her way to be away from her in group settings and is relieved that she has an excuse this weekend..hmm. Yet it's okay for the others to subjected to her obnoxious "friend". The hostess was right and look at this self centered person will behave...promising a scene and a royal fit...which sounds like her M.O.

Why would anyone want to be part of that spoiled self centered brat. Let her have her disorder in private and quit trying to legislate how others eat or start the meal. Good grief...sounds like enabling to me at the guise of being a friend...ha.