Community Chat

[nun ya]

On 2/18/2014 biancardi said:

I find it sad that the biggest reason to stay in a loveless marriage is...money.

women need to be more self sufficient.

I agree. Although, it is hard if you stay at home with kids. I"m not saying it can't be done, but it always doesn't work out that way.

[I like celery]

nunya, This comment isn't directed at you, even though it might seem like it is, since it will be posted right beneath your comment. :-)

Just mentioning to the posters who didn't see AbbyK's (the OP) follow-up post -- she mentioned she has worked part time for years. She does have marketable skills (my opinion, and not her comment), and perhaps may be able to transition to full time or find another position that is full time (again, my opinion, and not her comment).

[------]

On 2/18/2014 BlueCollarBabe said:

I find it ironic that the thread right next to this one at the moment is http://community.qvc.com/forums/viewpoints/topic/433895/study-ties-loneliness-to-death-among-older-a...

Is it ironic or…

[Milfy]

I think OP should be fine. She can get 1/2 of retirement and SS plus 1/2 the assets and most likely alimony for a time. I would suggest a lawyer.

[physicsnut]

On 2/17/2014 Caravaggio said:

So get a job and get a life. Sorry no time for excuses. You are comfortable and don't want the pain of moving out on your own because a woman who is in your situation it is going to be hard. Think long and hard about that. Right now you have the luxury of wondering what it will be like. You have the safety net of a marriage to fall back on. I divorced at 27 and raised a child on my own without any financial help and so I do not feel bad for any women who find themselves..bored.

I also feel bad for the husband who may or may not be clueless as to his wife's unhappiness. He may be happy and relieved to not have to walk on eggs around you anymore.

Thus we have a woman with a chip on her shoulder. Sad.

[Anniecamp]

Just catching up on reading this thread. I do hope that the OP is not seeing marriage through the eyes of "romance novels". It's amazing how many woman are into those books, and I think their views on what life is like gets very distorted. Just a comment.

[Anniecamp]

oops, spelling, "women" !

[Cakers1]

On 2/18/2014 Milfy said:

I think OP should be fine. She can get 1/2 of retirement and SS plus 1/2 the assets and most likely alimony for a time. I would suggest a lawyer.

Why should she get alimony? If she truly can't stand him and wants out of the marriage, then do so on her own and cut the cord. Divide the marital assets and take care of herself. I'm always amaze at women who just can't stand their husbands anymore but want support.

She's a grown woman in her 50's; certainly came through the era where she could have gone back to school and could have a way to earn a living. Children are grown and gone; why should he pay her when she can't stand him?

[reiki604]

On 2/23/2014 Cakers1 said:

On 2/18/2014 Milfy said:

I think OP should be fine. She can get 1/2 of retirement and SS plus 1/2 the assets and most likely alimony for a time. I would suggest a lawyer.

Why should she get alimony? If she truly can't stand him and wants out of the marriage, then do so on her own and cut the cord. Divide the marital assets and take care of herself. I'm always amaze at women who just can't stand their husbands anymore but want support.

She's a grown woman in her 50's; certainly came through the era where she could have gone back to school and could have a way to earn a living. Children are grown and gone; why should he pay her when she can't stand him?

I was thinking the exact same thing. I kind of feel sorry for the husband seeing that his wife holds him in such contempt.

[Pickwickpapers]

Counseling would be a good place to start before you act in haste and cause more pain to yourself and in turn to your spouse and family. I am just a few years older than you. I became a widow about five tears ago. I loved my DH dearly although we didn't always agree on everything and as the years went on we both had different interests. Our family was ways a priority. We both had little habits that annoyed the other at times. But we never for a minute considered not remaining married. We were still in love and still valued each other. We of course weren't the young couple with stars in our eyes when we were in our 20's but we were each others best friend and our family togetherness was important. Don't throw away that without trying. See your church pastor or a therapist. Make an appointment with your GP to see if maybe you have any medical issues that are pulling you down. Being alone isn't what you think it will be at your age.........emotionally it will be hard and unless you are very well off financially you maybe in hot water and your children may but they may not ever understand your actions and the impact on your family..........