Community Chat

[meem120]

On 2/16/2014 chickenbutt said:

On 2/16/2014 BlueCollarBabe said:

Sometimes the other partner is quite happy because they're sort of oblivious. They've learned to tune out the negativity and just want to believe it can go on forever. And sometimes it does. This is how many married couples end up - more like brother and sister. Do some people stay "madly in love" for decades? Maybe but I doubt that most do.

And I suspect it's more often the wife who would like to change things but doesn't because as the OP says - where to begin? Now some will tell you that you should "go for it", leave and find true love elsewhere. That's not very realistic. It happens for a few but most older women will find themselves alone if they're suddenly 60 and single. Also much poorer because they'll have half the income with almost the same expenses. Many people just go their separate but together ways and realize that life is not a fairy tale and they are not Cinderella. Enjoy your own interests and share what you can with him. Many older people would be thrilled to have a friend to live with.

I've read all the replies and this one ^ is the one that makes the most sense to me, being the realist that I am.

I have to agree with this also. I think this hits the nail on the head. Do your own thing. It's hard to start over and be on your own.

[terrier3]

On 2/18/2014 ------ said:

On 2/18/2014 BlueCollarBabe said:

I find it ironic that the thread right next to this one at the moment is http://community.qvc.com/forums/viewpoints/topic/433895/study-ties-loneliness-to-death-among-older-a...

Is it ironic or…

I think this poster feels that the single life would be exciting and fulfilling.

She needs some counseling to get a more realistic view of what she will be giving up...not just financially.

[AnikaBrodie]

Wondering if OP made an appointment with a counselor and/or whether she sat down and had a long talk with DH. She hasn't posted her decision for a while.

[lizzief]

Ann Landers gave some great advice years ago, it all boils down to whether you would be better off (in every way - emotional AND financial) with him or without him. Once you 've answered that question - and be very honest with yourself - then the rest will follow. But these days that first decision is not a simple one. Many people in your situation stay together for financial reasons. Starting over isn't a cake walk. Yet staying obviously isn't either. I hope you find the answer you are looking for.