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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,912
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@september not at all.  What I am saying is there was nothing they could have done from Europe, so don't spoil the vacay.  By the same token, there was nothing the OP and her husband could have done from their vacation at that time, so don't spoil it, especially since the OP has a condition that is exacerbated by stress.  

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness ~ Dalai Lama XIV

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace ~ Jimi Hendrix
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,851
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

You can’t be expected to be shielded from stressful news affecting your family regardless of illness. Life doesn’t work that way. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,801
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

@GenXmuse wrote:

You can’t be expected to be shielded from stressful news affecting your family regardless of illness. Life doesn’t work that way. 


 

That's harsh!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 27,199
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

You know, I do what I think is best now and beyond that I don't get worked up about what people think.  I do the best I know how, and now days you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

 

That fact I have learned from reading this board since the mid 1990's--or earlier.  I don't remember.  But that fact about people, I DO know. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,859
Registered: ‎07-10-2011

@Thrive. it´s FAMILY. What is your problem? Hope this never happens to you. You should call your sister, that´s what family would do. It´s not about you.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,859
Registered: ‎07-10-2011

. I don´t think her family is closeRe: Vacay

[ Edited ]

@GenXmuse, you are so right. I don´t think her family is close otherwise she would think differently

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,892
Registered: ‎07-03-2013

Re: . I don´t think her family is closeRe: Vacay

Call your sister and talk about it or have your husband take you to visit her.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,513
Registered: ‎10-27-2010

Really? Some people wd have been upset if they had NOT been informed. So sorry your vacation had a damper put on it. I’m surprised you weren’t angry with the cousin for dying at an inconvenient time. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,628
Registered: ‎03-15-2014

My guess is that she was stressed-out and/or needed to share the news with someone, and you were the one.  But, knowing about your MS and trying to be considerate, she did the next best thing and shared the news with your husband. 

 

Perhaps she could have waited until your return from vacation.  I don't know; depends on how close you and her were to the cousin.

 

At any rate, whatever she did wrong, if anything, is understandable.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 617
Registered: ‎08-03-2011

Thank you for not making mean assumptions about our closeness as sisters.  We are the only immediate family left and the person who suggesed that we are not close is clearly WRONG!  My question was why my sister sent MEa Facebook message to tell me of the imminent death and then sent my husband a message to tell me when he thought it was best to inform me.  I don't expect to be shielded. I knew it would only be days because he was in hospice.  I just didn't know why I needed to be informed by her with three separate messages while out of town.  In addition, his family also posted it on Facebook.Thank you to those who have been sensitive to the situation.  I haven't posted in years and I see some people are still the same.