Re: UPDATE: a certain football player conversatio... - Page 9

Lila Belle · ‎01-24-2013

On 9/8/2014 mstyrion said:
On 9/8/2014 Complicated said:
Sometimes your self respect is whittled away until you have little left.

Sometimes you are tied to the person in ways that make it difficult to tap that little bit of self respect you have so you can leave.

Sometimes you are more scared than that little bit of self respect can get you out the door.

Exactly.

Abuse often starts with the gradual erosion of self esteem. The abuser slowly picks away until the victim begins to believe she ""deserves"" the punishment. Often threats against family members or friends keeps the victim from running away.

Abuse is such a complicated issue. To blame a victim for not getting away is monstrously unfair.

I agree with both of you.

AngusandBuddhasMom · ‎03-10-2010

Well as long as Domestic Violence is tried in a civil court instead of a criminal court nothing will change so it is a waste of time to talk about.

It is a joke and that is that.

BTW, I have a restraining order on my second husband who was a decorated police detective. I went through heck trying to get that order because he was so protected by his brothers. Until he slipped up one day and it all came crashing down. It took an indictment to finally get him arrested for what he did to me. If domestic violence was made criminal instead of civil I think it would change a lot of this.

biancardi · ‎03-10-2010

I can only speak from personal experience. It is not the woman's fault.

You do not know why she stays, or puts up with it. Some of it could be for a deluded notion of love, insecurity, wanting to make things work.

some of the comments here about this woman make me sick. Nothing she has done, nothing at all, translates into the right that RR can beat her and treat her like that. No wonder abused women are afraid to come out into the light ~ with women making judgments on her behavior, I am not surprised.

If you can't fix what's broken, you'll go insane ~ Max
Look, I don’t like the taste of broccoli, but it doesn’t get tastier if you call it “Broccoli!”!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling. ~ Eames

SoX · ‎03-15-2010

On 9/9/2014 Caravaggio said:
Well as long as Domestic Violence is tried in a civil court instead of a criminal court nothing will change so it is a waste of time to talk about.

It is a joke and that is that.

BTW, I have a restraining order on my second husband who was a decorated police detective. I went through heck trying to get that order because he was so protected by his brothers. Until he slipped up one day and it all came crashing down. It took an indictment to finally get him arrested for what he did to me. If domestic violence was made criminal instead of civil I think it would change a lot of this.

This is so true, Caravaggio ... I have a friend who was in the same situation. Unfortunately, her ex was never even suspended for what he did to her. She finally got out from under, left the city and never looked back. I see her every time I visit NYC.

biancardi · ‎03-10-2010

On 9/9/2014 Caravaggio said:
Well as long as Domestic Violence is tried in a civil court instead of a criminal court nothing will change so it is a waste of time to talk about.

It is a joke and that is that.

BTW, I have a restraining order on my second husband who was a decorated police detective. I went through heck trying to get that order because he was so protected by his brothers. Until he slipped up one day and it all came crashing down. It took an indictment to finally get him arrested for what he did to me. If domestic violence was made criminal instead of civil I think it would change a lot of this.

I agree. I had a restraining order as well, and I was still scared. I used to park my car a few miles away from where I lived and worked so he would have a harder time finding me.

Pressing charges doesn't help - the fear that he will come back and make things worse is always there. I moved clear across the country to get away from him

If you can't fix what's broken, you'll go insane ~ Max
Look, I don’t like the taste of broccoli, but it doesn’t get tastier if you call it “Broccoli!”!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling. ~ Eames

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

janay rice posted this message this morning on instagram:

The Baltimore Sun has verified that the following unabridged message from her official Instagram account is from Janay Rice and was intended to be released publicly:

"I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend," Janay Rice wrote. "But to have to accept the fact that it's reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that [the] media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his [butt off] for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific.

"THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don't you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you've succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!"

Read more: http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/ravens/ravens-insider/bal-janay-rice-breaks-her-silence-describe...

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

biancardi · ‎03-10-2010

On 9/9/2014 sunshine45 said:
janay rice posted this message this morning on instagram:

The Baltimore Sun has verified that the following unabridged message from her official Instagram account is from Janay Rice and was intended to be released publicly:

"I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend," Janay Rice wrote. "But to have to accept the fact that it's reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that [the] media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his [butt off] for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific.

"THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don't you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you've succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!"

Read more: http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/ravens/ravens-insider/bal-janay-rice-breaks-her-silence-describe...

she is in denial, in love and thinks she can change him. These types of feelings are common with women who are in abusive marriages.

they either wake up and leave or they die.

If you can't fix what's broken, you'll go insane ~ Max
Look, I don’t like the taste of broccoli, but it doesn’t get tastier if you call it “Broccoli!”!
You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling. ~ Eames

AngusandBuddhasMom · ‎03-10-2010

On 9/9/2014 biancardi said:
On 9/9/2014 Caravaggio said:
Well as long as Domestic Violence is tried in a civil court instead of a criminal court nothing will change so it is a waste of time to talk about.

It is a joke and that is that.

BTW, I have a restraining order on my second husband who was a decorated police detective. I went through heck trying to get that order because he was so protected by his brothers. Until he slipped up one day and it all came crashing down. It took an indictment to finally get him arrested for what he did to me. If domestic violence was made criminal instead of civil I think it would change a lot of this.

I agree. I had a restraining order as well, and I was still scared. I used to park my car a few miles away from where I lived and worked so he would have a harder time finding me.

Pressing charges doesn't help - the fear that he will come back and make things worse is always there. I moved clear across the country to get away from him

So sorry biancardi I know how you feel. We still are both in NJ but neither of us live in our hometown. And he eventually moved out of the area. He was eventually fired from the force because of his actions and because his boss could not protect him any longer.

MikafromTopeka · ‎03-10-2010

Someone on ESPN said they have a child together. I had never heard that before. That makes a huge difference on how ""easy"" it would have been for her to walk away from him. Some women make the choice to stay so they don't have to turn their babies over to their abusers for visitation. It's not easy to hand a child over to a screaming maniac.