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Frequent Contributor
Posts: 142
Registered: ‎09-17-2010

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

Personally, if I were your niece, I would feel bad if you felt obliged to send another bridal shower gift after already having sent a most generous one. In that case, I would tell my aunt to consider it a wedding gift instead and not to send anything else. Most people would not have sent a gift in advance of the shower anyway, unless they knew that they would not be able to make it. Your attendance at the bridal shower or the wedding is of more importance than the gift.

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Registered: ‎05-09-2014

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?


@Katcat1 wrote:

@Mimi 1883  I would send the new bridal shower invitation back with a note that you previously sent her gift (monetary) but never heard back from anyone.  It is so rude to not thank people for their gifts.  I would NOT send another gift.  If you feel obligated that is your guilt.


The OP says they received a thank you card for the generous gift they sent for the original shower invitation. I agree there should be no obligation to send another shower gift, especially since the bride did send thanks for the first one, so she has recognized this was done for her already. 

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Posts: 1,827
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?


@stevieb wrote:

@Mimi 1883  I agree with you... A little extra effort to create two lists would have been appropriate and it would be far less 'tacky' to have done so than to appear to be attempting a double dip...

 

Woman Surprised


@stevieb  Thank you. I'm just a stickler for detail, a planner, and a list maker. Smiley Very Happy always making sure that things are just so to avoid any potential problems. Yeah, definitely see what you mean about "double dip." It's nothing life threatening, so that's the good thing! TY again.

F/N/A luvstogarden
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Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?


@maximillion wrote:

Personally, if I were your niece, I would feel bad if you felt obliged to send another bridal shower gift after already having sent a most generous one. In that case, I would tell my aunt to consider it a wedding gift instead and not to send anything else. Most people would not have sent a gift in advance of the shower anyway, unless they knew that they would not be able to make it. Your attendance at the bridal shower or the wedding is of more importance than the gift.


@maximillion Thank you. I haven't gone back to look at the first invitation's date, or our check's date, but we did send it very soon after receiving it. No, being so far away, and the virus was just breaking big then, we were not about to travel. And, who doesn't appreciate cash when they're starting out! Smiley Happy

F/N/A luvstogarden
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Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?


@gizmogal wrote:

@Katcat1 wrote:

@Mimi 1883  I would send the new bridal shower invitation back with a note that you previously sent her gift (monetary) but never heard back from anyone.  It is so rude to not thank people for their gifts.  I would NOT send another gift.  If you feel obligated that is your guilt.


The OP says they received a thank you card for the generous gift they sent for the original shower invitation. I agree there should be no obligation to send another shower gift, especially since the bride did send thanks for the first one, so she has recognized this was done for her already. 


@gizmogal  Thank you! What you said makes perfect sense. Maybe I'm worrying too much. Just trying to not create any misunderstandings, etc., when dealing with family. Heard too many horror stories about weddings and family. I have a good "track record" so far, and plan to keep it!  Smiley Very Happy

F/N/A luvstogarden
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Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?


@Sooner wrote:

@Mimi 1883 wrote:

@Sooner wrote:

@Mimi 1883 wrote:

@LdyBugz wrote:

I would not send another gift or any kind of note to your niece about the first gift.  Your niece already acknowleged the gift you sent and I can't imagine that she would expect another gift.  I would guess the hosts of the shower extended the invitation again to all of the original invitees out of common courtesy.  If you are not going to attend the new shower date, you only need to respond to the RSVP request.  🙂


@LdyBugz  The second invitation just made me think that apparently no one knows that I've already sent something. That concerned me. 

ETA: Thank you.


@Mimi 1883 Oh well of course.  There's the problem.  You are worried about what they think. . . Woman Frustrated

Woman Very Happy


@Sooner @Thank you. Yes, I am. We've all heard horror stories about family and weddings! I've come this far unscathed, and don't want any trouble or misunderstandings at this point! 🙂


@Mimi 1883 You can't control what others do, think or say.  You can only control what YOU do, and feel good about that.  People will put you through hoops and then still talk.  Not to worry!  

 

You've done everything you should do, let it go and forget about it!  If others don't like it, let them worry abou it.  Good wishes, happy thoughts and blessings to you!  


@Sooner Thank you! What you said is absolutely the truth! That's exactly what I'm going to do. I did my part the first time, and have no control over others. RSVP that we won't make the shower, and hope she has a beautiful day. Yes, I worry too much. Smiley Very Happy TY again!

F/N/A luvstogarden
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Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?


@withaK wrote:

I thought the same !!!   When a friend married I was a birdesmaid and wehn the shower was planned I was told when and where the shower would be and what I was to cook...a very good friend wasn't invited/overlooked....I looked around at the shower wondering where N was and figured he was ill/couldn't make it intil a few days later the Bride asked about N..turned out the Groom went thru her addressbook and made a list from there...I felt awful but N (as usual) was understanding...she hated the Groom......lol



@withaK Oh, that's awful. Poor N. N sounds like a very, very special and nice person! Too bad it's always the nice ones that get overlooked. Didn't like the groom, huh?  Smiley Very Happy

F/N/A luvstogarden
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Posts: 1,597
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?


@Katcat1 wrote:

@Mimi 1883  I would send the new bridal shower invitation back with a note that you previously sent her gift (monetary) but never heard back from anyone.  It is so rude to not thank people for their gifts.  I would NOT send another gift.  If you feel obligated that is your guilt.


 

The poster did receive a thank you for the first shower gift.

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Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?


@withaK wrote:

lol !!!   DH and I used to be invited to alot of things bc of what we would bring !!  Extra food, wine, beer, stop for a few bags of ice, a cheese, fruit and meat plate...after a while we declined some invites and told some people "We can only come for a drink...we have XYZ to attend later ...we know you will excuse us for leaving early

"


@withaK That's funny! Wow, you guys sure were generous with All the food!! I'm sure you were invited for a lot more than just the food you brought!  Smiley Happy

F/N/A luvstogarden
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Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

I am sure most people did not send gifts for the previously scheduled shower.  The OP was probably one of the few who sent anything.  Most people just bring their gifts to the shower on that day.  So they are just re-sending invitations to everyone who was invited the first time.  I would send the bride (and maybe her mother, also) a gushy note thanking her for the thoughtfulness of including you in the rescheduled shower and of course you can't travel for this one either but you are glad they can finally have the event.  Say you will miss being there, you hope they have a great time, send pictures, etc.   This is not a ploy to get another gift.