Community Chat

[stevieb]

@Mimi 1883  I understand the conundrum, but I'm afraid the chips would just have to fall where they may. You, the bride and her family all know you already sent a gift... Word will get around and false impresssions will get rectified...

[Sooner]

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@Mimi 1883 wrote:

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@LdyBugz wrote:

I would not send another gift or any kind of note to your niece about the first gift.  Your niece already acknowleged the gift you sent and I can't imagine that she would expect another gift.  I would guess the hosts of the shower extended the invitation again to all of the original invitees out of common courtesy.  If you are not going to attend the new shower date, you only need to respond to the RSVP request.  🙂

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@LdyBugz  The second invitation just made me think that apparently no one knows that I've already sent something. That concerned me. 

ETA: Thank you.

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@Mimi 1883 Oh well of course.  There's the problem.  You are worried about what they think. . . 

[Mimi 1883]

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@maximillion wrote:

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@Mimi 1883 wrote:

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@maximillion wrote:

Well, it's really not anyone else's business about who sent a gift and who didn't, that is strictly between you and the bride. If your card and monetary gift was at the shower and you were not, most likely the bride wouldn't open it until later anyway.

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@maximillion  If it weren't family, I would not be so concerned. I just don't want anyone to think that we're not gifting her. She's busy, I'm sure, and not going around announcing who gave what and when. 

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I am sure that she must have told her parents, your brother-in-law and his wife, and that is all that really matters anyway.

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@maximillion  Thank you. You're probably right. 

[LdyBugz]

@VaBelle35 I completely agree with you.  I think the invitations were handled appropriately.  They went with the original list in case someone's circumstances have changed and they can attend the upcoming shower.  Mentioning anything about gifts on the new invitation would have been tacky.  Some may have sent a gift, some may have not.  Some may want to give another gift, some may not.  Maybe some could attend the first date, but not the upcoming.  Why call that out on an invitation?  There are just too many situations to account for, so a simple re-invite to all was fine IMHO.  Besides, the bride has already thanked those that did send something.

[shoekitty]

I wouldn't worry about it  they probably didn't want to exclude you.  The list of gifts probably went out as an envelope stuffer by person having the shower.  I think everyone has been through that lately.  So many postponements, cancellations with the pandemic. 

my granddaughter is getting married this coming November.  The relatives span a few states.  My granddaughter lives in So Call we are in No Cal  his family is back East and down South. Even her bridesmaids live in 3 different states.     It's like we know they can't, or it would be hard to  come for a shower, especially in this pandemic and financial climate    And we wound NOT expect them too.  we would include them in the shower, because we want to acknowledge them. I would think the person giving the shower may not have known  if you had already given a gift.  No way would we expect a gift, and  for sure NOT two of them.  Lol!  however, your dilemma you posted gives me pause to think when we send invites out.

[Mimi 1883]

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@stevieb wrote:

@Mimi 1883  I understand the conundrum, but I'm afraid the chips would just have to fall where they may. You, the bride and her family all know you already sent a gift... Word will get around and false impresssions will get rectified...

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@stevieb  Thank you! You are the voice of reason. 😄 Appreciated!

[Mimi 1883]

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@Sooner wrote:

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@Mimi 1883 wrote:

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@LdyBugz wrote:

I would not send another gift or any kind of note to your niece about the first gift.  Your niece already acknowleged the gift you sent and I can't imagine that she would expect another gift.  I would guess the hosts of the shower extended the invitation again to all of the original invitees out of common courtesy.  If you are not going to attend the new shower date, you only need to respond to the RSVP request.  🙂

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@LdyBugz  The second invitation just made me think that apparently no one knows that I've already sent something. That concerned me. 

ETA: Thank you.

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@Mimi 1883 Oh well of course.  There's the problem.  You are worried about what they think. . . 

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@Sooner @Thank you. Yes, I am. We've all heard horror stories about family and weddings! I've come this far unscathed, and don't want any trouble or misunderstandings at this point! 🙂

[Mimi 1883]

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@shoekitty wrote:

I wouldn't worry about it  they probably didn't want to exclude you.  The list of gifts probably went out as an envelope stuffer by person having the shower.  I think everyone has been through that lately.  So many postponements, cancellations with the pandemic. 

my granddaughter is getting married this coming November.  The relatives span a few states.  My granddaughter lives in So Call we are in No Cal  his family is back East and down South. Even her bridesmaids live in 3 different states.     It's like we know they can't, or it would be hard to  come for a shower, especially in this pandemic and financial climate    And we wound NOT expect them too.  we would include them in the shower, because we want to acknowledge them. I would think the person giving the shower may not have known  if you had already given a gift.  No way would we expect a gift, and  for sure NOT two of them.  Lol!  however, your dilemma you posted gives me pause to think when we send invites out.

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@shoekitty  Thank you. You're right. I hope ALL goes smoothly for your granddaughter's wedding!! 

[stevieb]

@Mimi 1883  I agree with you... A little extra effort to create two lists would have been appropriate and it would be far less 'tacky' to have done so than to appear to be attempting a double dip...

[Sooner]

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@Mimi 1883 wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

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@Mimi 1883 wrote:

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@LdyBugz wrote:

I would not send another gift or any kind of note to your niece about the first gift.  Your niece already acknowleged the gift you sent and I can't imagine that she would expect another gift.  I would guess the hosts of the shower extended the invitation again to all of the original invitees out of common courtesy.  If you are not going to attend the new shower date, you only need to respond to the RSVP request.  🙂

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@LdyBugz  The second invitation just made me think that apparently no one knows that I've already sent something. That concerned me. 

ETA: Thank you.

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@Mimi 1883 Oh well of course.  There's the problem.  You are worried about what they think. . . 

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@Sooner @Thank you. Yes, I am. We've all heard horror stories about family and weddings! I've come this far unscathed, and don't want any trouble or misunderstandings at this point! 🙂

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@Mimi 1883 You can't control what others do, think or say.  You can only control what YOU do, and feel good about that.  People will put you through hoops and then still talk.  Not to worry!  

You've done everything you should do, let it go and forget about it!  If others don't like it, let them worry abou it.  Good wishes, happy thoughts and blessings to you!