Community Chat

[Mimi 1883]

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@Katcat1 wrote:

@Mimi 1883  I would send the new bridal shower invitation back with a note that you previously sent her gift (monetary) but never heard back from anyone.  It is so rude to not thank people for their gifts.  I would NOT send another gift.  If you feel obligated that is your guilt.

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@Katcat1  Yes, I stated that we did indeed receive a thank you card from her the first time. So, that's fine.

[I am still oxox]

I would send a polite note, we can not attend and hope you are enjoying our gift

[RetRN]

Please do not mention your prior gift. She sent a thank you note so she received it and I'm sure appreciated it. Simply RSVP that you will not be attending. I would most definitely purchase a wedding gift for my niece and would send it if unable to attend due to the long distance.

[Mimi 1883]

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@maximillion wrote:

You must also remember that the person who is having the bridal shower is not the bride herself. The person having the shower has no idea that you have already sent a gift to the bride for the shower. Your niece, the bride, has already sent you a thank you note. I would reply to the RSVP for the new date, but that is truly all that is necessary in this instance. You will have another opportunity to give or send a gift for the wedding itself.

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@maximillion  You made the point that I've been concerned with, and that is that Most people, especially family/family friends may Not know that we've already sent a gift the first time, and will wonder why we didn't send a gift now. You know how funny some family members can be - we all have at least one of them. 

[Sooner]

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@RetRN wrote:

Please do not mention your prior gift. She sent a thank you note so she received it and I'm sure appreciated it. Simply RSVP that you will not be attending. I would most definitely purchase a wedding gift for my neice and would send it if unable to attend due to the long distance.

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@RetRN There are lots of different families with lots of different relationship.  Just because it is your niece doesn't mean you are close to her or have ever even seen her in these days.  

I don't believe that people are obligated to distant relatives just because they are distantly related.  I had aunts who were like mothers to me, and some I wouldn't have known on the street.  So that's two different situations there.

[maximillion]

Well, it's really not anyone else's business about who sent a gift and who didn't, that is strictly between you and the bride. If your card and monetary gift was at the shower and you were not, most likely the bride wouldn't open it until later anyway.

[chiclets]

@Mimi 1883 

  We initially received a bridal shower invitation for a date in March, and sent her a very generous monetary gift. We did receive a thank you card from her.

You already sent your shower gift and was acknowledged for it.

You can send  a note you will not be attending the new shower date and by mentioning you were glad to receive a thank you note for your gift concerning her original shower date.

NO need to send another gift.

[Mimi 1883]

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@mspatmac wrote:

Since the initial shower was cancelled and this is the replacement most likely the same people are hosting and most likely just used the same list. They may not be aware that you sent a monetary gift prior to knowing the shower was initially cancelled.  I would not ignore the invitation but decline with a note, sorry I can't attend but hope you all have a wonderful time. No further gift is required.

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@mspatmac  You're right in that people may not be aware of a prior gift and that is what concerns me. I don't want anyone to think that we've snubbed them in any way. It's not like I can tell everyone that we've already gifted. 

[Peaches McPhee]

This sounds like an error to me, not a gift grab.  But, I'd decline the invite, and not send another gift.  

[RetRN]

Nothing in @Mimi 1883 's post indicated that @Sooner.  I would never just assume that her relationship with her niece was anything but good. I understand that they don't live near each other but many of us have family that are not nearby. It has nothing to do with it being a good or bad relationship.