Community Chat

[SuiGeneris]

On 3/16/2015 Marp2 said:

On 3/16/2015 SuiGeneris said:

I've also always liked this quote:

<em>“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”</em>

<em>- Carl Jung</em>

And, an explanation of the quote I found online is interesting:

<em>Often the things that irritate us most about other people, are the things we dislike most about ourselves.</em>

<em>So, the next time you find yourself feeling irked by something someone has said or done, ask yourself – how is this person mirroring my own behavior? And before I judge the other person, what can I do to rectify this in myself?</em>

But can't the opposite also be true. For example, I am quiet and soft spoken. I like that about myself and others. Loud, highly animated, perky people irritate me because it upsets my inner balance.

ETA: to be clear, I am referencing irritation not anger.

The "explanation" of the quote that I found online is only one way to view the actual quote. The other way to think about it is what you have realized in understanding the way irritation affects you.

I am much the same as you, in that I tend to enjoy quieter pursuits -- soft conversation, reading a book, watching television, etc. Loud, obnoxious people and conversations tend to quickly wear on me and I will quietly excuse myself from that type of situation.

This goes back to the conversation of "highly sensitive people" recently discussed on this forum. I took the test and found that, even as a child, I have always been highly sensitive to loud, boisterous people, conversations, and parties, leading to a deep sense of disquietude within me.

So, what I have "learned" from the quote [“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”] is that when I am faced with an uncomfortable person or situation, I understand that for my mental health and well-being, I must retreat to a quieter, more subdued atmosphere.

It seems as though that is what you have learned, also.

[jessa]

Interesting posts........but beware of ""armchair psychologist "" & ""psychobabble"" jabs by some posters they usually show up when posters are having these interesting talks.......not sure why.

[Slate]

On 3/15/2015 Free2be said:

I think the gist of the OP statement is that a confident person would not easily react with feelings of anger at hearing or reading a thought or belief that is not shared. There would be no reason to react with anger or any strong emotion. That would be irrational and unbalanced.

An individual who has made the effort to think, learn, and know there is diversity near and far in all walks of life, in the many cultures, countries, cities, and varying ways of viewing all things, will more likely be able to let the differing thought just be knowing it doesn't affect their own being.

I didn't read the question to be about personal insult or anything that affects one's existence.

Excellent post!

[PIT-HAG Melissa]

On 3/15/2015 Slate said:

If another can easily anger you it is because you are off balance with yourself.

I say true to a certain extent. A person who is confident within themselves cannot be angered by another person's words. Actions on the other hand are a different matter.

I mostly agree..( a couple exceptions as we ALL have our hot buttons)..

I had a very different response until I went back and reread this last sentence...

[jessa]

On 3/15/2015 Irshgrl31201 said:

On 3/15/2015 september said:

There's no simple answer to this. It depends what the issue is. If it's about my family, especially one of my kids (like Irshgirl mentioned)...that will be a whole other issue than if you just insulted me.

There isn't a simple answer to this. That is how I felt. I have been insulted many times. It doesn't bother me. Insulting my daughter hurt me so badly. Like I said, I would handle it differently today but I don't regret it one bit and it wouldn't be something I would apologize for ever. You live and learn. I am very easy going but every one has that button that will get them out of their normal character quickly.

ITA. It's too vague & simple about something that's not simple.

[PIT-HAG Melissa]

GREAT thread for conversation!

[Slate]

On 3/16/2015 SuiGeneris said:

On 3/16/2015 Marp2 said:

On 3/16/2015 SuiGeneris said:

I've also always liked this quote:

<em>“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”</em>

<em>- Carl Jung</em>

And, an explanation of the quote I found online is interesting:

<em>Often the things that irritate us most about other people, are the things we dislike most about ourselves.</em>

<em>So, the next time you find yourself feeling irked by something someone has said or done, ask yourself – how is this person mirroring my own behavior? And before I judge the other person, what can I do to rectify this in myself?</em>

But can't the opposite also be true. For example, I am quiet and soft spoken. I like that about myself and others. Loud, highly animated, perky people irritate me because it upsets my inner balance.

ETA: to be clear, I am referencing irritation not anger.

The "explanation" of the quote that I found online is only one way to view the actual quote. The other way to think about it is what you have realized in understanding the way irritation affects you.

I am much the same as you, in that I tend to enjoy quieter pursuits -- soft conversation, reading a book, watching television, etc. Loud, obnoxious people and conversations tend to quickly wear on me and I will quietly excuse myself from that type of situation.

This goes back to the conversation of "highly sensitive people" recently discussed on this forum. I took the test and found that, even as a child, I have always been highly sensitive to loud, boisterous people, conversations, and parties, leading to a deep sense of disquietude within me.

So, what I have "learned" from the quote [“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”] is that when I am faced with an uncomfortable person or situation, I understand that for my mental health and well-being, I must retreat to a quieter, more subdued atmosphere.

It seems as though that is what you have learned, also.

I can relate to both of your posts. I don't like to be around, loud, angry, or boisterous people.

[Slate]

On 3/16/2015 Alley Catvocate said:

On 3/15/2015 Slate said:

If another can easily anger you it is because you are off balance with yourself.

I say true to a certain extent. A person who is confident within themselves cannot be angered by another person's words. Actions on the other hand are a different matter.

I mostly agree..( a couple exceptions as we ALL have our hot buttons)..

I had a very different response until I went back and reread this last sentence...

True, we all have our hot buttons but mine are very few really. It takes a whole lot to make me angry but watch out when I do. And once I blow up and let off steam I am over it quickly and ready to move on. Grudges are not my thing.

[PIT-HAG Melissa]

On 3/16/2015 Slate said:

On 3/16/2015 Alley Catvocate said:

On 3/15/2015 Slate said:

If another can easily anger you it is because you are off balance with yourself.

I say true to a certain extent. A person who is confident within themselves cannot be angered by another person's words. Actions on the other hand are a different matter.

I mostly agree..( a couple exceptions as we ALL have our hot buttons)..

I had a very different response until I went back and reread this last sentence...

True, we all have our hot buttons but mine are very few really. It takes a whole lot to make me angry but watch out when I do. And once I blow up and let off steam I am over it quickly and ready to move on. Grudges are not my thing.

This is a good way to be...

It only adversely affects the person holding them anyway...

[dooBdoo]

On 3/16/2015 SuiGeneris said:

I've also always liked this quote:

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

- Carl Jung

And, an explanation of the quote I found online is interesting:

Often the things that irritate us most about other people, are the things we dislike most about ourselves.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling irked by something someone has said or done, ask yourself – how is this person mirroring my own behavior? And before I judge the other person, what can I do to rectify this in myself?

There was an interesting, insightful thread about that quote not long ago -- the OP linked to an article discussing the concept. Wish i could remember who the OP was, or which article. I think it's true in that those things we find most irritating in others do tell us something about ourselves. We might not possess the characteristic, but it's an opportunity to be introspective and self-aware.