Community Chat

[gidgetgh]

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@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:
Yes the birthdays and anniversaries are so painful, allow yourself to grieve in whatever ways you want to.

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@Greeneyedlady21 - exactly. Great post.

I just let those anniversary days be whatever they need to be.  I don't try to force anything or make it be a certain way.  Grieving is a process that never ends and what works for me on those days is just let them be what they need to be. Sometimes they are are surprisingly ok. And then, sometimes not. 

[BlueFinch]

Losing someone we loved leaves a deep wound. No one else can see it, and feel it, except the person grieving their loss.

After a time, which is different for everyone, the wound begins to scar -- to toughen up, with more acceptance. But, triggers will always remain. 

I try to turn my triggers into more celebratory moments now, just being grateful for the time I was blessed with those I've lost. But, they took a chunk of my heart with them when they departed, so it's not easy.  

[meallen616]

January is a tough month for me also. The 25th was my Mom's death,10 years ago, the 31st my brother's death, 28 years ago, and, my Dad's birthday was on the 16th, he has been gone since 1987. I miss them all so very much...

[amyb]

{{{❤️}}}

[SouthernBee]

@Jordan2 : So many difficult days. Everyone grieves differently and struggle to deal with this. Try to focus on the positive and good memories.

I have one suggestion: On each day, honor the special family member. If I start crying: I set an alarm clock for 15 minutes and pour my heart out. I then clean my self up. I then find a friend, neighbor or relative and do something for them ( you probably know something they need help with or a special treat). 🙏🙏🙏🤗🤗❤❤

[Jordan2]

Thank you everyone for your kindness. It seems January is a cruel month for many of us. 

[gardenman]

I think it's hardest when the deaths are clustered like that. My brother died on December 28th, my dad on December 30th and my mom on January the fifth. I joke that it's the eight days of death in our family and that if I make it to January sixth I'm safe for another year. It's odd how deaths in a family sometimes get clustered together like that. It does make that stretch of days tough to go through each year though. 

[goldensrbest]

I have found that some of our loses just stay with us forever, i lost my oldest son in 1998 ,i still have heartache, tears over him,my husband died in 2013, the same goes for him.

[LindaSal]

So true @goldensrbest , we never get over the losses, we just learn to live with it

[QFashion]

@Jordan2...and everyone here feeling losses of dear, loved ones. Please be kind and gentle with yourself. Grief is with us no matter how long it's been. Cry, get sad, get angry but remember the joy you shared when they were with us, don't cover up your grief. Just know the love you have and those souls are always with you 💓.