Thanksgiving gift? - Page 3

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

IMO, when somebody says 'dont' bring anything', I would respect that. Otherwise, you are making it about YOU.

What if it's not all about you, you accept the invitation, have a nice time, and either a call or note after the fact to thank them for the lovely time? That would be appropriate.

I know we've had this discussion about bringing gifts when an invitation clearly states 'no gifts' so many times over the years, but think about why one is compelled to bring those gifts and realize that you are just making it about you and losing the original meaning and non-respecting the host.

NickNack · ‎03-10-2010

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
I would just show up.

If I brought anything, it would be flowers.

Or, here's a thought, don't take anything, but afterwards, send her a nice hand written thank-you note, thanking her for the dinner, and what a pleasant time you had.

This is exactly what I'd do. I absolutely don't think you should bring a gift certificate. She doesn't expect or want you to bring anything, so I wouldn't.

The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

I think a grocery GC after being invited to a meal is insulting, tho I know you don't mean it that way.

Guests are NOT expected to compensate the host(s) for their meal!

Take a pretty bouquet or a plant. Forget anything food related. Please.

Sheilaray · ‎03-10-2010

@Lipstickdiva , another option instead of tossing the items would be to simply keep them and regift them. I also would never think of returning them to the giver.

faeriemoon · ‎03-14-2010

@Sheilaray wrote:
This is a tricky one. Some people are very fussy about their "tablescapes " and if she does this every year, she most like has a plan for her centerpiece. She might even be giving you hints that she doesn't want anything since she sends it back home with you. And I agree that a gift certificate does seem like you are trying to pay for your meal.

I personally have never liked fresh flowers as a hostess gift, especially if not arranged. I feel as though I need to drop everything and deal with the flowers, arranging, finding a vase, finding a spot for them, etc. Tough when hostessing and under pressure.

What about some forward thinking and bringing a nice balsam wreath for their door? They can put it aside and put it out the next day?

I totally agree with this. Nothing like stopping everything when you are trying to get a meal served, so you can cut and arrange flowers. Not to mention locating an appropriate vase. I know people mean well, but what are they thinking?!?

~What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind.~ William Shakespeare

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@Sheilaray wrote:
@Lipstickdiva , another option instead of tossing the items would be to simply keep them and regift them. I also would never think of returning them to the giver.

@Sheilaray, that's what I would do but I'm thinking in the case of someone being an alcoholic or diabetic, tossing them might be the only option.

I brought my red wine to a ladies get together with relatives because I'm the only one who doesn't drink red. I know this sounds worse then it is (or maybe not) but I have wine "clothes" for all the holidays and that's what I use my cheap white wine for. LOL

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

Is there a nice event in your area ,you can take them to, as your guest?

They might appreciate an evening out as your guest

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

My MIL and I tolerated each other for her son's sake, but she would throw a zinger in there once in awhile. I invited her and my FIL to dinner one time and found a 20 dollar bill on the table after they left. I asked my husband if it was his and of course it wasn't, so I thought maybe my FIL or MIL might be missing it. As it turned out, my MIL enjoyed the meal so much and knew a lot of work went into it and thought she would leave me a tip. I was insulted, I thought she just should have told me how much she enjoyed the meal. I never mentioned it, but she knew I was insulted and never did it again. When I invite someone to dinner I am inviting them to come and enjoy themselves and sample my cooking. If they ask me if they should bring something, I'll say just yourself, and I mean it. I look at it like, people who feel a need to bring something really do not want to accept the hosts hospitality and think they are getting something for nothing and don't want to owe the host anything. Perceived or real. JMO.

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
@Sheilaray wrote:
@Lipstickdiva , another option instead of tossing the items would be to simply keep them and regift them. I also would never think of returning them to the giver.
@Sheilaray, that's what I would do but I'm thinking in the case of someone being an alcoholic or diabetic, tossing them might be the only option.

I brought my red wine to a ladies get together with relatives because I'm the only one who doesn't drink red. I know this sounds worse then it is (or maybe not) but I have wine "clothes" for all the holidays and that's what I use my cheap white wine for. LOL

with all of the food drives going on this time of the year, a box of chocolates can surely be place in a brown bag and donated to a local food drive......or even a doctors office that you may frequent so that office staff can partake in a piece or two. i would never throw them away. i cannot imagine that people dont know others who drink wine so that the bottle of wine could be passed along.

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@sunshine45 wrote:
@Lipstickdiva wrote:
@Sheilaray wrote:
@Lipstickdiva , another option instead of tossing the items would be to simply keep them and regift them. I also would never think of returning them to the giver.
@Sheilaray, that's what I would do but I'm thinking in the case of someone being an alcoholic or diabetic, tossing them might be the only option.

I brought my red wine to a ladies get together with relatives because I'm the only one who doesn't drink red. I know this sounds worse then it is (or maybe not) but I have wine "clothes" for all the holidays and that's what I use my cheap white wine for. LOL

with all of the food drives going on this time of the year, a box of chocolates can surely be place in a brown bag and donated to a local food drive......or even a doctors office that you may frequent so that office staff can partake in a piece or two. i would never throw them away. i cannot imagine that people dont know others who drink wine so that the bottle of wine could be passed along.

@sunshine45 I'm with you but the poster specifically mentioned alcoholics or diabetics. I personally wouldn't throw it out either, I'd find someone to give it to but I don't know how bad it is to have alcohol in the house if someone can't have it.