Community Chat

[FrostyBabe1]

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@QueenDanceALot wrote:

Aren't the Holidays just so joyful?

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Oh, yeah. Oodles and goo-gobs of joy.

I truly wish I could skip Thanksgiving dinner, but it’s a family obligation and there will be hurt feelings among people I adore if I don’t attend. The hostess is well aware, from prior years, that nearly everything she’s serving is something that I don’t eat.  I certainly don’t expect to be catered to, but in this case it’s a bit unkind on her part. I asked what I could bring and suggested perhaps some roasted root veggies, a dessert, wine, etc. I was told that she has the entire menu planned and that no “outside” contributions will be accepted. So, I’ll go, eat some turkey breast and perhaps a veggie if it’s not swimming in a goopy sauce, and be gracious.

[TenderMercies]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

I just got a call from the hotel where the "fish dinner" employee is staying.  It's a lovely Residence Inn that is only a year old.  He is in a one bedroom suite with a kitchen.  Apparently this employee has been quite a nightmare for the hotel staff.  He complained that the mini blinds in the bedroom weren't sufficient to block out the morning sun, so he requested "black out" curtains be installed in the bedroom.  They accomodated his request, but apparently the "black out" curtains aren't "black out" enough for him, so he is requesting better "black out" curtains for the bedroom.  Additionally, he is claiming he has lower back issues and that the bed in his room isn't firm enough, so he now wants a new mattress.  They let me know that they will not be accomodating either of these new requests, and that they suggest I find him another hotel to stay in if theirs isn't suitable to his needs.  I'm about to put him in the storage room at a Long John Silver's, and let him sleep on a piece of cardboard on the floor.  That should cover everything.

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This should be a warning signal/wake-up call for the company. If this employee is within a probationary period where they can be let go at will, IMO they should be as “not a good fit for the organization.”

Otherwise, they are stuck with an employee who will be playing the company, its HR and its disability attys forever. I’ve seen this multiple times.  Multiple family leaves, each one maxed out. Doctors’ notes for everything. Any and every way they can drive fellow employees and corporate nuts and get a free ride/gravy train/special treatment, they will.

I seriously think someone else in your company relevant to this behavior should be made aware of his little history over the past week+ before it’s “too late.” And if it is too late, then let their own managers suffer them in their own city.

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@Moonchilde I emailed my boss.  He won't care.  This guy is on a limited contract, and he'll be out of here next Saturday.  We can't let him go, as he is needed for the job at hand, and it's too late to replace him.  

All of the hotels that are in walking distance of my place of business (Residence Inn, Hampton Inn and Homewood Suites) are all managed by the same company.  I called my contact there to see if I could move him, and they said they  would not accept him at any of their other properties.  He needs to stay where he is, or I have to move him to another hotel that is not within walking distance.  That means that I would have to rent him a car.  I'm sure all the other employees who have been well behaved would love to have their own car, too, yet he will end up getting that privelage.  Should we take bets on whether or not he'll request the specific make, model and color of his rental?

[Isobel Archer]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

I just got a call from the hotel where the "fish dinner" employee is staying.  It's a lovely Residence Inn that is only a year old.  He is in a one bedroom suite with a kitchen.  Apparently this employee has been quite a nightmare for the hotel staff.  He complained that the mini blinds in the bedroom weren't sufficient to block out the morning sun, so he requested "black out" curtains be installed in the bedroom.  They accomodated his request, but apparently the "black out" curtains aren't "black out" enough for him, so he is requesting better "black out" curtains for the bedroom.  Additionally, he is claiming he has lower back issues and that the bed in his room isn't firm enough, so he now wants a new mattress.  They let me know that they will not be accomodating either of these new requests, and that they suggest I find him another hotel to stay in if theirs isn't suitable to his needs.  I'm about to put him in the storage room at a Long John Silver's, and let him sleep on a piece of cardboard on the floor.  That should cover everything.

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This should be a warning signal/wake-up call for the company. If this employee is within a probationary period where they can be let go at will, IMO they should be as “not a good fit for the organization.”

Otherwise, they are stuck with an employee who will be playing the company, its HR and its disability attys forever. I’ve seen this multiple times.  Multiple family leaves, each one maxed out. Doctors’ notes for everything. Any and every way they can drive fellow employees and corporate nuts and get a free ride/gravy train/special treatment, they will.

I seriously think someone else in your company relevant to this behavior should be made aware of his little history over the past week+ before it’s “too late.” And if it is too late, then let their own managers suffer them in their own city.

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@Moonchilde I emailed my boss.  He won't care.  This guy is on a limited contract, and he'll be out of here next Saturday.  We can't let him go, as he is needed for the job at hand, and it's too late to replace him.  

All of the hotels that are in walking distance of my place of business (Residence Inn, Hampton Inn and Homewood Suites) are all managed by the same company.  I called my contact there to see if I could move him, and they said they  would not accept him at any of their other properties.  He needs to stay where he is, or I have to move him to another hotel that is not within walking distance.  That means that I would have to rent him a car.  I'm sure all the other employees who have been well behaved would love to have their own car, too, yet he will end up getting that privelage.  Should we take bets on whether or not he'll request the specific make, model and color of his rental?

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Would uber to and from be cheaper.  And even if it isn't - would it be worth it?

[TenderMercies]

@Isobel Archer Yes, Uber might be cheaper, and it is much more of an attractive idea in terms of not having to deal with paying car insurance or deal with him wrecking a rental car.  My only concern about Uber is that he might abuse the privelage.  Right now he has access to restaurants, a grocery store, etc.  The hotel where I would have to move him would be in a more remote location, so he might start taking Uber everywhere.  That could add up.

[Moonchilde]

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

I just got a call from the hotel where the "fish dinner" employee is staying.  It's a lovely Residence Inn that is only a year old.  He is in a one bedroom suite with a kitchen.  Apparently this employee has been quite a nightmare for the hotel staff.  He complained that the mini blinds in the bedroom weren't sufficient to block out the morning sun, so he requested "black out" curtains be installed in the bedroom.  They accomodated his request, but apparently the "black out" curtains aren't "black out" enough for him, so he is requesting better "black out" curtains for the bedroom.  Additionally, he is claiming he has lower back issues and that the bed in his room isn't firm enough, so he now wants a new mattress.  They let me know that they will not be accomodating either of these new requests, and that they suggest I find him another hotel to stay in if theirs isn't suitable to his needs.  I'm about to put him in the storage room at a Long John Silver's, and let him sleep on a piece of cardboard on the floor.  That should cover everything.

---

This should be a warning signal/wake-up call for the company. If this employee is within a probationary period where they can be let go at will, IMO they should be as “not a good fit for the organization.”

Otherwise, they are stuck with an employee who will be playing the company, its HR and its disability attys forever. I’ve seen this multiple times.  Multiple family leaves, each one maxed out. Doctors’ notes for everything. Any and every way they can drive fellow employees and corporate nuts and get a free ride/gravy train/special treatment, they will.

I seriously think someone else in your company relevant to this behavior should be made aware of his little history over the past week+ before it’s “too late.” And if it is too late, then let their own managers suffer them in their own city.

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@Moonchilde I emailed my boss.  He won't care.  This guy is on a limited contract, and he'll be out of here next Saturday.  We can't let him go, as he is needed for the job at hand, and it's too late to replace him.  

All of the hotels that are in walking distance of my place of business (Residence Inn, Hampton Inn and Homewood Suites) are all managed by the same company.  I called my contact there to see if I could move him, and they said they  would not accept him at any of their other properties.  He needs to stay where he is, or I have to move him to another hotel that is not within walking distance.  That means that I would have to rent him a car.  I'm sure all the other employees who have been well behaved would love to have their own car, too, yet he will end up getting that privelage.  Should we take bets on whether or not he'll request the specific make, model and color of his rental?

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Would uber to and from be cheaper.  And even if it isn't - would it be worth it?

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This person would be highly likely to claim they were assaulted by the Uber driver, the driver insulted or threatened him, he was afraid to take Uber, was made ill by the car, you name it. It becomes a game. There would be something. Just because he can.

[Moonchilde]

@TenderMercies, that’s actually good news for the company - they’re not stuck with him if he’s on a limited contract. Whew!

[Isobel Archer]

Since it is unlikely that the remote hotel will have a firmer matress and blackout curtains sufficient to satisfy him, can you just tell him he has to make do with what he has?

[QueenDanceALot]

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@FrostyBabe1 wrote:

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@QueenDanceALot wrote:

Aren't the Holidays just so joyful?

---

Oh, yeah. Oodles and goo-gobs of joy.

I truly wish I could skip Thanksgiving dinner, but it’s a family obligation and there will be hurt feelings among people I adore if I don’t attend. The hostess is well aware, from prior years, that nearly everything she’s serving is something that I don’t eat.  I certainly don’t expect to be catered to, but in this case it’s a bit unkind on her part. I asked what I could bring and suggested perhaps some roasted root veggies, a dessert, wine, etc. I was told that she has the entire menu planned and that no “outside” contributions will be accepted. So, I’ll go, eat some turkey breast and perhaps a veggie if it’s not swimming in a goopy sauce, and be gracious.

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@FrostyBabe1

Now, that really is something I don't understand.  You are going somewhere where the host knows you don't eat most of what he/she is cooking but when you offer to bring something they say No.  Seems rather passive aggressive to me.

I am also going to a Thanksgiving dinner with friends I've spent many holidays (and birthdays and monthly get togethers with) and they do a lot of food that I just don't eat, but they have never told me not to bring a dish.  They always welcome it.  The more the merrier is their philosophy, I think.  And what I bring seems to be enjoyed by most of the people attending.  I try to think of what they would like as well as what I would like.  I wouldn't be comfortable just bringing "my own food".  I like to share.

[NAES1]

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@gidgetgh wrote:

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@nana59 wrote:

Just one more reason I'd like to fast forward to January......

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@nana59- I agree. The holidays, just about all of them, have too much “hoopla” for me any more.  My husband and I are going out of town for Thanksgiving, a first for us. Thanksgiving lunch will be at the buffet in the casino in Biloxi. And when we drive home the next day, the holiday will be over. I strive to keep it simple now. 

                                                    

    @gidgetgh,   ~hello~

        Since I have free day, I thought I may like to check on one item, I opened my note replies, then switched over to the screen page when I read the topic. That was of interest to me. 

Without reading all opinions..(who has the time) I visited more forward and read yours.  Thinking back -even- 10 years ago, I absolutely do not remember the stress of holidays being this emotional.

I lovingly agree with your ability to have a sound focus, in not becoming overwhelmed.

 Our best day in giving THANKS, ` is everyday`..a bowl of soup or a Sunday type of dinner - we, as a family, often had, nothing more, nothing less.

 My parents are both deceased, my father dying not too long ago, my mother earlier. Those were wonderful years. Our adult son will be able to join us this late November, not to just eat, but for his ability to have a schedule to allow this.

Usually, when my husband and I are home on THE DAY, we make a simple salad and some fresh made bread and add in a nice wholesome vegetable. That about it, then we either take a walk, read, or have memories with our old photos. A nice quality old black and white movie closes the day off.

You had mentioned:

   'I strive to keep it simple'

                         I absolutely would had, if necessary, demanded it to be simple and always have, especially when there were fifteen of us at the table..never any stress...it was not allowed, nor did anyone rant, become selfish or unnecessarily hyper.

One quiet dinner, a lovely family together~ laugh and enjoy each other.~

I suppose I could use that state of behavior as something I know much of ~ from my family or, now, in my family. 

 Have a pleasant and safe trip, enjoying what you are having, remembering the LOVE. 

 The ""HOOPLA"" that you spoke of, is

                       'over consuming with high expectations and commercialism' to the hilt'. 

Peace. 

                                                                                 NAES

                                                                                 November 20th, 2017.

@TenderMercies, 

     You have been absolutely beautiful with your plans.

Everything will be just fine.."never any over thinking".

            "  ~That ruins the entire purpose~ "

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[Cakers3]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

These are not regular guests; it's unfair to accuse a  host of being "rude" because said host is unwilling to cater to every dietary demand of one time guests.

Honestly-how many here actually have guests they've never know prior to this TD?

You know your family dietary needs and those of the friends you invite; I seriously doubt that people are serving dinner to folks they have never met.

Nobody should be expected to rearrange a menu (planned ahead of time) so that FISH of all things be offered. 

These employees are out of line, imo.  Even products you buy off the shelf have warnings that the product is manufactured in a facility that also produces soy, nuts, etc.

What is the host supposed to do?  Sanitize the whole house in case one of her ingredients crossed with another dish?

You know your guests and what they need; these are unknown people with a one-time shot at this home;  HOME not a RESTAURANT.

For pity sake-the host is trying to do something nice; the guests are out of line.

I also do not see a bashing against any person HERE who doesn't eat meat or has allergies or is lactose intolerant or whatever; nor should there be.  As well as there shouldn't be a high and might attitude for those who claim to be so inclusive of every dietary need on the planet.

This is why I think the whole holiday is foolish; all about the food and not the message of the day.  It's outdated, not inclusive for our Native Americans, and just another day to complain about relatives, football, rude guests and rude hosts.

Fish indeed.

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Wow so you selectively read this thread and finish with my saying YES fish is traditional at Thanksgiving.

And if you actually read the thread you would know nobody is bashing the Host. The only person who is being questioned is the underling who is giving a one sided rant. And refusing to pass along the info. Did it occur to you that if these people are missed at the Host's Table and the Host finds out afterwards that the OP refused to pass along their dietary needs that the Host might be miffed? To just blame these people because of their diets is ridiculous and small.

We have no way of knowing if the host cares to know about any allergies etc. So by all means just run with ignorance and insult those who have hosted gatherings and put concern and responsibility of their guest before their own comfort.

After reading all of the thread and the OP's replies I question whether or not these people actually made such demands or if the OP was just to overworked and is seeing any notice as too much. Not everyone is going to fall in line with the there there approach and agree with the OP. No need for you to be so insulting. But I am right and you are so wrong...Yawn and moving on...

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@AngusandBuddhasMom I never said I refused to pass along any information about dietary restrictions.  In fact, I specifically said I would pass along that people were gluten free and vegetarian if asked.  The only thing I said that I wouldn’t mention were the rude ways in which the guests specifically requested certain foods, and that was more to protect the character of the guests and not to make the host feel put out.  You are incredibly rude and a flat out liar for calling me names and making up stories about what I said I would and wouldn’t do.  Hopefully no one will ever take the time and care to protect or defend your character in the way that I have gone out of my way to do for these people.  They’re just picky eaters.  There is so much more wrong with you.

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@TenderMercies  Not to mention I never directed the fish remark to her.  In fact you and I joked about the Debra Barone episode and that is ALL I was referring to-the guest requesting fish, not that @AngusandBuddhasMom mentioned fish as a TD dish.

Yeesh. I don't know why some posters think every response is about them.

Not to mention Frank Barone choked on a fish bone in that episode.