Community Chat

[Isobel Archer]

The nicest spin I can put on this is that the responders misread the email and think this is a corporate catered affair for their specific benefit while they are away from home.

If they understood it to be a personal invitation from the BOD member, then it is absolutely beyond rude to say - I want to request a fish or vegetarian dinner.  

I guess what you could do is resend the email saying something like - I've had questions about the menu BOD member is serving for the  Thanksgiving dinner she has personally invited you to attend at her home.  Here it is.  If you need to bring a dish to accommodate your special dietary requirements, please feel free to do so.

[AngusandBuddhasMom]

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

I think I would have told them there will be lots of veggies and usually they are gluten free.

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i always make sure that there are some fresh vegetables on the table AND a large salad. i also have a large veggie tray with assorted vegetables. i think the host could accomodate these requests quite easily.

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That was my point of asking if the host was made aware. 

[TenderMercies]

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home.  I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December.  A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner.  I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count.  At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal."  Is it wrong that I'm angry about this?  I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving?  I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins.  Accept it as it is, or make other plans."  Can you believe the nerve of some people?    

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Does the board member who is extending the invite know you have a problem with the responses you are getting? Maybe she is OK with knowing about the requests.

If you have a serious food allergy like Celiac or you are a vegan or pescatarian then the "usual thanksgiving" choices are not the same as you seem to think they are. 

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@AngusandBuddhasMom If you are a pescatarian or vegetarian, then you can eat stuffing, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc.  If you are gluten free, you can eat turkey, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc.  I am not asking a board member to make special meals for these people when there will already be plenty of options.

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If people have certain dietary restrictions then maybe they were asking because they don't want to accept and then find out they can't eat certain things.

My DD has celiac I know she is used to doing with out and not asking. People seem confused as to what is and isn't allowed. Some people are more bold then others I see no reason to take offense.

For religious reasons we don't eat pork or any meat on Fridays. I never say anything if out or at a company function. I just look to see what I can have and make do. No big deal. That said  when people notice they make a big deal about it and seem to take a personal offense to it. I don't know how my abstaining from certain foods reflects on them but apparently it does.

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@AngusandBuddhasMom  It's Thanksgiving.  It's the one day of the year when you absolutely know what kind of food will be on the menu.  As I stated, there will be plenty of options for people who have dietary restrictions.  If you have these restrictions and you understand what Thanksgiving dinner means, then you know there will be something for you to eat.  It's not about their restrictions, it's about the audacity of them to expect special treatment under these specific circumstance, especially when they know they will not go hungry.  

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You do realize Salmon is a traditional Thanksgiving option. Just sayin...

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Please.

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Excuse me? it was apart of the first feast. 

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So was lobster.  Should I ask my board member to make that for them, too?

[AngusandBuddhasMom]

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

The nicest spin I can put on this is that the responders misread the email and think this is a corporate catered affair for their specific benefit while they are away from home.

If they understood it to be a personal invitation from the BOD member, then it is absolutely beyond rude to say - I want to request a fish or vegetarian dinner.  

I guess what you could do is resend the email saying something like - I've had questions about the menu BOD member is serving for the  Thanksgiving dinner she has personally invited you to attend at her home.  Here it is.  If you need to bring a dish to accommodate your special dietary requirements, please feel free to do so.

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Well said.

[TenderMercies]

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

The nicest spin I can put on this is that the responders misread the email and think this is a corporate catered affair for their specific benefit while they are away from home.

If they understood it to be a personal invitation from the BOD member, then it is absolutely beyond rude to say - I want to request a fish or vegetarian dinner.  

I guess what you could do is resend the email saying something like - I've had questions about the menu BOD member is serving for the  Thanksgiving dinner she has personally invited you to attend at her home.  Here it is.  If you need to bring a dish to accommodate your special dietary requirements, please feel free to do so.

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It was made clear to them that this was a gracious invitation from a long time member of the board of directors to share Thanksgiving dinner with her family in her home. 

[AngusandBuddhasMom]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

I work for an organization that employs a lot of people who come to my city to do their job for short periods of time, then move on to other cities or return home.  I currently have a dozen employees who are in town through the beginning of December.  A long time member of my board of directors has invited these employees to her home for Thanksgiving dinner.  I sent an email out to these employees to let them know about the invitation and to RSVP, so I can do a head count.  At least 3 of these people responded saying things like, "I'm gluten free, so I'll need options" and "I'd like to request either a fish or vegetarian meal."  Is it wrong that I'm angry about this?  I can understand these requests if this were a working dinner on any normal day, but a dinner hosted by a board member on Thanksgiving?  I don't want to be rude to them, but I feel like saying "It's Thanksgiving dinner, folks. You get turkey and the usual fixins.  Accept it as it is, or make other plans."  Can you believe the nerve of some people?    

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Does the board member who is extending the invite know you have a problem with the responses you are getting? Maybe she is OK with knowing about the requests.

If you have a serious food allergy like Celiac or you are a vegan or pescatarian then the "usual thanksgiving" choices are not the same as you seem to think they are. 

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@AngusandBuddhasMom If you are a pescatarian or vegetarian, then you can eat stuffing, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc.  If you are gluten free, you can eat turkey, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, etc.  I am not asking a board member to make special meals for these people when there will already be plenty of options.

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If people have certain dietary restrictions then maybe they were asking because they don't want to accept and then find out they can't eat certain things.

My DD has celiac I know she is used to doing with out and not asking. People seem confused as to what is and isn't allowed. Some people are more bold then others I see no reason to take offense.

For religious reasons we don't eat pork or any meat on Fridays. I never say anything if out or at a company function. I just look to see what I can have and make do. No big deal. That said  when people notice they make a big deal about it and seem to take a personal offense to it. I don't know how my abstaining from certain foods reflects on them but apparently it does.

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@AngusandBuddhasMom  It's Thanksgiving.  It's the one day of the year when you absolutely know what kind of food will be on the menu.  As I stated, there will be plenty of options for people who have dietary restrictions.  If you have these restrictions and you understand what Thanksgiving dinner means, then you know there will be something for you to eat.  It's not about their restrictions, it's about the audacity of them to expect special treatment under these specific circumstance, especially when they know they will not go hungry.  

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You do realize Salmon is a traditional Thanksgiving option. Just sayin...

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Please.

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Excuse me? it was apart of the first feast. 

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So was lobster.  Should I ask my board member to make that for them, too?

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My point was you are saying "traditional" but you knew that.

[Anita Hug]

I have some severe food allergies, but I would never expect a hostess to cater to my restrictions. I have, on the other hand, had a hostess get offended if I want to bring a dish. Or if I ask whether or not a dish has a certain ingredient in it before I put it on my plate.  I'm not trying to be picky or insulting! I'm trying to enjoy the meal and partake of as many of the delicious items as possible. I can't do that unless I know what is in them! 

So if I ask what kind of nuts those are in that jello salad concoction (or if there are any at all in the sweet potatoes or stuffing), I need to know! Even one bite will ruin the dinner for everyone present if I'm not careful. Please respect that I have the allergies and may need to ask some questions, but do not worry beyond that - you have enough work to do.

Those responses to the invitation were out of line, and you would not be wrong to let them know that their requests simply can not be met.  

[AngusandBuddhasMom]

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

The nicest spin I can put on this is that the responders misread the email and think this is a corporate catered affair for their specific benefit while they are away from home.

If they understood it to be a personal invitation from the BOD member, then it is absolutely beyond rude to say - I want to request a fish or vegetarian dinner.  

I guess what you could do is resend the email saying something like - I've had questions about the menu BOD member is serving for the  Thanksgiving dinner she has personally invited you to attend at her home.  Here it is.  If you need to bring a dish to accommodate your special dietary requirements, please feel free to do so.

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It was made clear to them that this was a gracious invitation from a long time member of the board of directors to share Thanksgiving dinner with her family in her home. 

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Are you invited?

[JaneMarple]

@TenderMercies between the restaurant asking for tips at the register and the temporary employees, your're not having a good couple of days are you?

[TenderMercies]

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

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@TenderMercies wrote:

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

The nicest spin I can put on this is that the responders misread the email and think this is a corporate catered affair for their specific benefit while they are away from home.

If they understood it to be a personal invitation from the BOD member, then it is absolutely beyond rude to say - I want to request a fish or vegetarian dinner.  

I guess what you could do is resend the email saying something like - I've had questions about the menu BOD member is serving for the  Thanksgiving dinner she has personally invited you to attend at her home.  Here it is.  If you need to bring a dish to accommodate your special dietary requirements, please feel free to do so.

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It was made clear to them that this was a gracious invitation from a long time member of the board of directors to share Thanksgiving dinner with her family in her home. 

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Are you invited?

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Yes, but I declined.  I have my own plans as I am not an out of town guest.  Plus, at this point, I can think of nothing more tedious than spending my day off with these people.  What does that have to do with anything?