Re: Thank You Notes

Nataliesgramma · ‎03-28-2015

I always made my daughter sit down and write or pick up the phone and Thank the person who sent her a gift right after she opened it.

I am happy to say that she is doing the same with my Granddaughter.

I am Ok with a nice text or email from someone too as long as it is more than "Thanks"

Teddie · ‎03-10-2010

@mac116 wrote:
My grandson graduated from high school this June. He had a large party with many guests. My son and daughter-in-law held on to his gift checks until he wrote a thank you note to each and everyone. It took two weeks, but I was pleased that they handled it that way. (That was what we did 27 years ago with our son).

@mac116 This is what I did all the while my kids were growing up, and through graduation. They weren’t allowed to use a gift, cash a check or spend money before a thank you note went out. When my son got married, my friend let me read his note he had written to her and I couldn’t have been more proud. It was perfect.

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

I am not one for such formalities and am very informal so I am not the norm. A written thank you isn't and has never been expected for anything I freely give anyone. If someone says a verbal thanks for a gift, a quick text or email then that is enough for me but I don't begrudge anyone a gift even if they don't acknowledge it. They don't have to jump through hoops with gratitude and they don't owe me anything. I give because I want to. That may be why I have never liked recieving gifts (and still don't). The undying gratitude that is expected because someone who supposedly cares about you gives you a gift with strings attached.

KailaS · ‎03-09-2010

I have a niece who lives out of the area with her husband and two younger children. I never even find out if my packages to the two children or to the parents arrive. I now track the packages. Before I started tracking the packages, I would email after a week to make sure the package(s) had arrived. I would get a one sentence response of “ Yes, it/ they arrived. Thanks.” Now there is nothing.

This is so different from the way I was raised. These same individuals ( in their late 30s) never contact members of the family except if they need help or want us to buy items that the children are selling in school.

I guess I am an old dinosaur.

walkingal · ‎03-09-2010

@lovesrecess wrote:
Are you tempted not to send another gift to a person who doesn't acknowledge one ?

Yes, and I don't send anymore gifts. I have gift giving down to a minimum now. Thank Goodness the adults in my family have stopped exchanging. But their kids are still young and have graduations, birthdays, of course. If I don't receive an acknowledgement, they're off my list. I still send thank you notes. They are to people in our birthday club and to older neighbors and friends of my parents who still remember my siblings and me during the Christmas holidays.

walkingal · ‎03-09-2010

@elizabethl123 wrote:
my niece got married sent a check took her 6 months to send a thank you

That's horrible. I would have been tempted to stop payment on that check.

walkingal · ‎03-09-2010

@RedTop wrote:
I would probably fall over dead if my husband or I ever received a thank you from his numerous nieces and nephews.

I am the one who dutifully remembers all birthdays, writes checks for their weddings, and buys gifts for the baby showers. Never a response; verbal nor written. The last niece finishes high school next May, and once she’s out of school, WE ARE DONE.

Good! You have been much too patient and kind.

walkingal · ‎03-09-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
@elizabethl123 wrote:
my niece got married sent a check took her 6 months to send a thank you

Then she did well because the etiquette books say that wedding thank you notes should go out within 3 months of returning from the honeymoon. Life is busier now so 6 months isn't bad at all.

Not when it comes to checks. Even three months is too long. Checks should be deposited as soon as possible.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

You see, I don't feel like I'm asking for something in return (expecting a thank you note).

For the amount of time I've taken to either purchase a gift card (my favorite mode of sending a gift) or writing a check or other things I do, I expect a few minutes from the receiver of said 'gift' to take a minute of THEIR time to acknowledge that MY time is as valuable as their time.

It's as simple as that.....

One thing I have to mention as far as asking if the gift was received.....I have asked a few people who never acknowledged receipt of the card and thank you note. There have been at least 3 or 4 times when I've asked and had them say, "Errrrr...I never received it". Hummm??? That would mean they might have a postman or woman who steals mail. I think I probably shouldn't say this but I do....I say, "Well, you should report them because don't you wonder what other mail you are missing?" (hint: Same people have said this more than once). I stopped sending gift cards, only cards.

I have friends who help me all of the time. They never ask for anything in return. We never discuss how much money or what I'll give them. Yet, I usually (well, often) give them something in return.

They don't take my payment and run with it. They often say, "Thank you but I didn't expect this" or "I don't need any payment". I always say, "Is your time valuable to you"? They'll say, "Well, yes it is". Then I say, "This is my way of thanking you and acknowledging that I understand your time is valuable".

Usually I just give them something I know they'd like to have and I'm not using it or have no need for it. They don't need money. The gift is something I know they wouldn't buy for themselves but like mine.

Here's a quick for instance. So, my friend, the Vet's nurse is coming by my house tomorrow morning around 6:15AM to pick up my cat Katie. Katie hates everyone (even me), I've never been able to pick her up and hold her (and it's been about 6 years!). So to get her to the Vet it has to be carefully planned out in catching her.

I will trick her into a room where she has access to the litter box this evening and shut the door. I'll probably put her brother (Bill) in with her to keep her from totally flipping out!

Back to my friend (Debbie) coming in at 6:15AM. She has all of the codes to my house and her own key. She put in all of the cameras anyway! She'll come in, go into the room where Katie is trapped (I hate the word trapped but it is what it is). She'll take Katie to the Vet's clinic.

I won't even have awakened. She'll let Bill out and will probably feed him before he leaves.

Then the Vet (her boss) will look over Katie and do blood work and decide which teeth to pull (we know there are some from the checkup months ago).

Katie will spend the night at the Vet's clinic and first thing in the morning (Tuesday morning) he will pull her teeth. (She was found as a tiny kitten supposedly with Bill and even then one or two teeth were broken).

Her teeth probably are bad because she vomits up so often. Not just furballs, but she always over eats, etc (it has ruined my rugs). I think (Vet agrees) the stomach acid has done a job on her teeth among other things.

Anyway, she'll stay there a good part of the day and when my friend leaves the office she'll bring her to my house, or if she hasn't recuperate like she should my friend will take her to her house (where SHE has 3 dogs and 5 cats). She'll watch her all night and drop her off at 6:15 Wednesday morning.

All of this and I don't pay her. I do pay her when she comes and shampoos my rugs or does physical things for me. But I know she loves Dooney purses and I have some I've never used. Friday when she came over to help me I told her she could go and pick out whatever she wanted. You'd have though she'd been given $1,000! She was happy and I gave something I never used anyway. It just works!

How lucky am I to have friends like that? So, I don't NEED to but every now and then I'll send her a thank you note with a gfit certificate in it to a restaurant. I tell her how much our friendship means to me and to please take her husband to dinner.

Everyone likes to feel appreciated. Everyone's time is valuable. Debbie watches and walks other people's dogs and cats for them too. They also pay her. This past week she spent the entire time (and night) at someone's house because they were on vacation. The people have two large dogs that are old and need medication. No overnight place would take them and besides the people knew Debbie would care for them like her own dogs....and she does!

I won't go into my other friends and how we work out things. This is what I'm telling you about friendship, thank you notes and people who give of themselves and their time.

Phew! There I go again, all long winded. I hope I have drifted this subject off too much. It's about thank you and time though, right?

Look! I know from reading everyone's posts most of you guys are just like me. You have friends who do wonderful things for you and vice-versa. It's no different.

It makes my heart feel good to come here and read everyone's posts. With all that's going on in the news, they'd have us believe (as my Grandma would say), "The world is going to Hell in a hand basket" (whatever that means).

But we here, well, I think we know otherwise. This is just one little thing here we do (getting together). I'm sure there are lots of 'places' like this where other's do the same thing and feel good about it.

Take care ladies, I'm going go make me some breakfast/lunch. I do love you guys/Annabelle/Linda

INDIANA BONES · ‎01-01-2014

@grandma r I have a pack of Thank You notes to send out in front of me now. I already did some when I had a death in the family but had too many to do at one time.

I know what you are making reference to regarding getting thank you notes. I get some from some people but certainly not all.

I do try to consider if the person has the $$$ to pay postage and purchase the cards as it has really become expensive. When I consider this, I also consider if they gave me a call to say thanks as we keep a land line that is listed.

Now my Dad whom was in his late 90's, stopped giving $$$ to grandchildren when after a few years they had never sent a thank you card or thanked him by phone. He was upset as the amount of $$ he sent decreased as his $$$ decreased and the number of grandchildren and great grandchildren increased.

This was an interesting post to show how times are changing through the years.