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08-26-2020 01:47 AM - edited 08-26-2020 01:49 AM
1. Dear God questions from third graders:
*Dear God: How come you didn't invent any new animals lately? We still have just all the old ones.
*Dear God: Is reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you know him through business?
*Dear God: Who draws the lines around all the countries?
*Dear God: How did you know you were God?
*Dear God: I bet it's very hard for you to love all of
everybody in the whole world. There are
only four people in our family, and I can
never do it.
*Dear God: I think the stapler is one of your greatest
inventions.
2. Times I've Seen my husband cry:
1) Our wedding.
2) The birth of our four children.
3) The time I mowed the grass too short.
3. I Walked Into our living room and found our expensive
decorative sofa pillow in shreds. I asked my teenage
daughter whether she knew which of our three dogs was
responsible. "It was Cotton," she said. "How do you know?"
"I watched him." she replied.
4. Sad after the funeral of a friend, my wife and I ducked
into a Chinese restaurant for a little Szechuan pick-me-up.
The feel good session ended abruptly when I read the fortune in my cookie: "You will soon be united with a good friend.
5. Daughter (via text): Mom, where are you??
Mom: Leaving Walmart. Halfway home. Why, sweetie?
Daughter: You brought me to Walmart with you...
Mom: OH DARN! Be there in a bit!
6. My Aunt was in the hospital for hip replacement surgery and not happy about having to wear the hospital garb she'd been given. So when she was being wheeled into surgery, my mother ran out and bought her a nice robe to wear instead. Rather than being thankful, my aunt was appalled. "You left
the hospital while I was in surgery?" she asked. "What would you have done if I had died?" "I'd have returned the robe," answered Mom.
7. My teen aged son and I were discussing dating and relationships. To impress upon him that I had valuable
experience to share, I commented, "You know, I've been around the barn a few times." "Yeah, Mom," he said, unimpressed, "but always on the same horse."
8. It really doesn't feel like September until Macy's puts
their Christmas decorations up.
Why don't toasters have a window so you
can see how toasted your bread is?
Reader's Digest
08-26-2020 02:58 AM
@IMW wrote:@Lindsays Grandma are you up and running again?
My fav is #7.
@IMW ...Yes, I am. Computer seems to be fine tonight but I'm still going to buy a new one. This one has been around for a long time, due for a replacement. There are so many things I want to post but I am limited as to how many I can submit at one time. Seems like some Nay Sayers complained and I am not allowed to break them down in part one and part two. When dealing with so many different personalities we are bound to have some trouble makers.
08-26-2020 06:46 AM
Glad to see your computer working fine.. hopefully it'll be ok till you get a new one.. I like #4 & #5.. have a great day!
08-26-2020 10:10 AM
@Lindsays Grandma There will always be naysayers,
or as I call them miseries.Our job is to ignore them.
They're so busy looking at what everyone does their
lives must be very empty.
You keep truckin, and hold your head up high.
08-26-2020 11:23 AM
Thanks for posting.
They’re all funny. The last one about the toaster made me chuckle.
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