Stumped! What Would You Do...Wedding? - Page 6

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@Brinklii wrote:
This is almost too weird to believe. Would appreciate your opinions. My daughter's friend (who is now 25) is remarrying the same man she married three years ago. She had a huge wedding then, and we gave a lovely gift since we knew her most of her life.

She and her husband hardly even lived together after their first wedding. They were together about four months, and she was constantly coming home to visit mama...without her husband. Sometimes they would both come home. She would stay with her parents, and he would stay with his parents. Anyway, they were divorced by the time they should have been married 9-10 months.

Now, we received another invitation to her wedding...to the same man! My daughter said that her friend feels that her biological clock is ticking away, and she hasn't met anyone else who she wants to marry. They are having a private ceremony with the justice of the peace. A couple weeks later, they will have a big reception for everyone to attend. Her parents said they refuse to pay for the second reception. He is a nice man, but she just seems desperate.

My daughter said they have registered for gifts at several large department stores. My husband thinks we should not give another gift. I think we should give something modest, but not as large as we gave the first time...if for no other reason than she is my daughter's dear friend. My daughter thinks her friend is making another mistake but thinks we should still give a gift.

What would you do? Thanks!
@Yardlie

You don't have to be psychic to see where this is going. This young woman is a FLAKE.

So this is prompted in part because of her ticking biological clock? Too bad you can't give her something to shut off that clock!

I guess that giving her a gift certificate for her divorce attorney's services is out of the question? lol

@Tinkrbl44 ... I agree that this is a bad reason to get married. It seems that she is just "settling" for a husband. He loves her very much, but she doesn't seem to feel the same way about him. She always says that they are "best friends." I wish them well.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

She's only 25 and her biological clock is ticking? If I were going to attend, I would give a gift. If I was so against something to where I didn't think they "deserve" a gift, I wouldn't attend. But the registering for gifts is unbelievable.

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

@Melania wrote:
@jaxs mom wrote:
@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@Melania wrote:
@Brinklii wrote:
@lolakimono ... I think we sort of have to attend since my daughter will be one of the attendants at her friend's wedding...plus we see her all the time. We will attend the reception...not the service itself.

I'm still thinking of the best choice, but am still leaning toward just a modest gift card and personal note. I can't believe that she would expect another large gift...especially since her parents refuse to pay for the second reception. However, I know that the millenials have different expectations than people my age do.
Being a millennial has nothing to do with having no common sense.

She wants the fairy tale which goes way back. Obviously she has ignored the reality around her and how that doesn't always work. Even more so with the same guy who she couldn't stand before. This girl is destined for disaster and this time she'll have little ones to take care of with no regard for them. She is beyond selfish.
I bet she expects her mama to rescue her yet again.

You are right to get her a small something because she is your daughter's best friend. She doesn't deserve it but you are taking the high road.

Yes to this! I see millenials get blamed for a lot of things, but lacking common sense knows no age, race, or creed. The lack of common sense is an equal opportunity issue that surely dates back to the first humans.
I wonder how much the posters here would appreciate generalizations about their demographic. hmmmmm
I so agree!!
How about the parents who never said no or really talked to her about this. Many parents did and do that. Now we hear them complaining about this generation when it was their doing. Ugh.
How's that for a generalization about the previous generation? LOL

Yes ... I agree that it was our generation who pampered the millenials and gave them the world. We tried not to do that with our children, but there is definitely a difference between our expectations and theirs.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

If I were invited I would send my regrets and wish them all the best. Just curious....did you get a thank you card the first time around?

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

@reiki604 wrote:
If I were invited I would send my regrets and wish them all the best. Just curious....did you get a thank you card the first time around?

Reiki604 ... yes, we did receive a thank you card the first time around.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

MarthaStewardess · ‎03-09-2010

Lol, her biological clock is ticking? She doesn't sound mature enough to get married, let alone be a parent!

Mellie32 · ‎03-13-2010

I wouldn't go or even send a card -- it doesn't sound like a situation where a "congratulations" would be appropriate.

CatsyCline · ‎07-24-2013

i would give a nice card with a small gift card . the bride-to-be is your daughter's friend. i agree it seems tacky to register for gifts though. they really should have specified "no gifts".

athenian · ‎03-18-2012

This behavior is not exclusive to millenials. The daughter of one of my parents friends ( she was a baby boomer) had an enormous wedding with all the bells and whistles including wedding dress with cathedral train for her third wedding when she was in her forties. And yes she registered for gifts. I figured the first wedding gifts were breaking and she wanted replacements. No, this marriage didn't last either.

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

@jaxs mom wrote:
@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@Melania wrote:
Being a millennial has nothing to do with having no common sense.

She wants the fairy tale which goes way back. Obviously she has ignored the reality around her and how that doesn't always work. Even more so with the same guy who she couldn't stand before. This girl is destined for disaster and this time she'll have little ones to take care of with no regard for them. She is beyond selfish.
I bet she expects her mama to rescue her yet again.

You are right to get her a small something because she is your daughter's best friend. She doesn't deserve it but you are taking the high road.

Yes to this! I see millenials get blamed for a lot of things, but lacking common sense knows no age, race, or creed. The lack of common sense is an equal opportunity issue that surely dates back to the first humans.
I wonder how much the posters here would appreciate generalizations about their demographic. hmmmmm

Whenever I hear these questions, I always thing about Bye Bye Birdie and the song Kids (What's the Matter with Kids Today!, which debuted in 1960 and set in 1958. That was already generations back. In the movie, the father (Paul Lynde) sings the song about his own kids, 10 and 16, and then Albert's (****** Van ******) mother sings the song about Albert, who is nearly 40. It shows that every generation asks this question about the next.

I think that people have been asking this question long before Lee Adams wrote the lyrics and believe it's an age old question.

Kids, with lyrics: https://youtu.be/tlqmu-ZpQ3E?t=1m17s

Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way!

What's the matter with kids today?

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