Community Chat

[ROMARY]

It's worth just asking a family attorney exactly what a long-time wife's rights are. The family doesn't have to know that you asked/discussed. right now, anyway. You may or may not have rights.....and whatever the laws are will point you in the right (for you) direction.

[goodstuff]

On 1/13/2014 violann said: pistolino, I'm sure you are speaking from personal experience, but our personal experience was very different. We were paying an aide $650/week, and a very good nursing home was over $10,000/ month just before my mother died.

Clearly you aren't talking about skilled, round-the-clock care here. At $650/week for 168 hours (7 days X 24 hours/day), you would have been paying your in-home caregiver well under $4/hour. Not likely. We found that care agencies in our area charge a minimum of $15/hour for in-home CNA's......which means a minimum of $360 per 24/hour day, $2520/week, and about $10,800 per month.

[ROMARY]

It depends on the type of 24/7 care. Sometimes the patient needs supervision and someone to sit with him/her, making sure he has help if he/she needs it. Possibly light cooking, help into the bathroom, etc. Most agencies have a variety of services. Most offer someone to come by everyday or every other day and bathe the person for a nominal fee. Usually 1/2 to 1 hour rates. In approx. 2010, with neighbors giving me the info, the rates were as low as $25 per visit. I haven't checked lately, though. Of course, the more that is expected of the aide, the more money. Some patients are bed bound, etc. and need frequent turning, etc. It's worth calling around, looking at various local rates. I suggest local agencies, as they usually hire people who live nearby, who are more readily available whenever they are needed. You don't want to hire people who have a long distance commute to the home.

[pistolino]

On 1/13/2014 Anniecamp said:

Bungo and Pistolina, PLEASE read threads before you state with such "authority" what should be done. You wrote about things that were already addressed by the OP.

If you had READ my post, it was directed at OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE READING who have a frail spouse and a poor stepchild relationship, NOT THE OP.

mmmmkay?

[pistolino]

On 1/13/2014 GoodStuff said:

On 1/13/2014 violann said: pistolino, I'm sure you are speaking from personal experience, but our personal experience was very different. We were paying an aide $650/week, and a very good nursing home was over $10,000/ month just before my mother died.

Clearly you aren't talking about skilled, round-the-clock care here. At $650/week for 168 hours (7 days X 24 hours/day), you would have been paying your in-home caregiver well under $4/hour. Not likely. We found that care agencies in our area charge a minimum of $15/hour for in-home CNA's......which means a minimum of $360 per 24/hour day, $2520/week, and about $10,800 per month.

If the $650/week caregiver only worked 40 hours, that's great.

How many hours did he/she work?

[ROMARY]

Sorry, triple post.

[ROMARY]

T/P

[ROMARY]

It could be that the son has a daytime 'sitter' type of caregiver during the day when the son is working. And possibly an overnight person who is available to help his dad with going to the bathroom, and back to bed. There are so many services available now-a-days.

[ROMARY]

O/P: I just read your post regarding not enough space at your place for a caregiver. Sorry for my other posts, as I must have missed your post directed to me. Wishing you much luck, and I know that your main problem/situation is that you are unable to even see your own husband. That would bother most long-term married wives. It's only natural to feel 'out in the dark' about the situation.

[sarahpanda]

Do you have an update for us?????