Re: Spouses that Give In

Jaspersmom · ‎06-08-2011

A couple of things come to mind. First is she knew this before she married him. She may not have wanted to look at it or thought he would change once they were married or still yet, doesn't care. She may have been desperate to get married, thought she couldn't find anyone else or can overlook his faults because he is so great at everything else -LOL. Some women love the idea of a wedding but never give thought to what the marriage will be like. Second, he is control freak for whatever reasons he uses to justify being one (if he even admits to it). Control freaks are hard to break. They most likely felt powerless growing up or were told they were invincible and could say or do whatever they want. Control freaks are very insecure, but they often aren't very nice. It's their way or the highway. They are manipulative and find ways to get their way, even in charming ways sometimes. They aren't very good at compromising. They don't play well with others.

With that being said, it is HER life and hers to live. She may be perfectly happy in this arrangement. If she isn't, she will have to figure out how to deal with it IF she doesn't want to stay married.

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

@JBKO

You are absolutely correct, it is none of your business.

I think it's a great idea for you and your family to give her a graduation.

SharkE · ‎08-19-2010

It'll get worse before it gets better. Believe me............

violann · ‎03-10-2010

Thirty nine years and we STILL butt heads all the time, but we underscore everything with love and respect, and a fight melts as fast as an ice cube on a hot sidewalk.

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

I assume your sister knew how controlling her husband is before they married and she is okay with that. Does her husband control the money? My best advice for your sister (and any woman who gets married) is to have her own bank account in addition to a joint account. Hopefully, your sister works and if so, at least some of that money should go into her own account.

Sunnycorle · ‎03-09-2010

We teach people how to treat us.

Pearlee · ‎06-11-2011

@DiscountDiva wrote:
My sister is 26 and recently got married back in August. I have to say that she often lets her husband have his way. He doesn't even consult her a lot of the time. For instance, he decided where their honeymoon would be without really talking to her. She wanted a beach vacation and basically told her that they were going to X city. On top of that, he picked a hotel by noisy construction to save money. She is graduating in May and wants to have a small party but he doesn't want to. I know many of you will say it is none of my business--I know that and I also know that we can all learn from this. What do you think? I've never really had a serious relationship but when I did, we always compromised.

Huh? You never did but when you did?

dfyre · ‎03-10-2010

My older sister married the short, plump, slightly balding guy with coke-bottle glasses. She was always the controlling type and in her marriage (which has lasted nearly 50 years) she would say "jump" and he would say "how high, dear?" They love one another dearly and her best friend once told me the only time they ever argued was over his wacko family. She never had to work and managed the money he earned with no problems. They raised amazing children who are in very loving, solid marriages themselves.

You can't say what works or doesn't work in a marriage unless you are in it. Me, I'm on my second one, but I tend to be the head-butt-er type.

hckynutjohn · ‎06-15-2015

I believe most that have long term/successful marriages or relationships, that they are built on trust, and on agreed upon decisions by the 2 involved.

hckynutjohn)

hckynut(john)