Spouses that Give In - Page 4

Puzzle Piece · ‎06-29-2010

Well, wouldn't wanting her way be giving in by him? It's their business and only they know what they can afford. Maybe he is frugal and she is a spend thrift. Maybe like another poster has written, the marriage may not last and also, knowing before you marry how financial things will be settled is a good idea.

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust

Cranberries · ‎03-09-2010

What is his exact reason for saying no about the party? That is a big piece of the puzzle that is missing. Some will say his reason doesn't matter, I think it does. Doesn't mean he's necessarily controlling her or the situation. Maybe there is a legit reason.

Sounds like the story is just her side of it. Nobody was there to know what really transpired in the conversation.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

One thing I haven't seen mentioned is the "power structure" when only one spouse is bringing in money. Perhaps the sister feels less powerful because she isn't earning yet .... and maybe her attitude will change when she is.

I don't think one person has to give in all the time.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership .... a collaboration and compromise is sometimes part of it.

However, there have been times when a decision needed to be made and, frankly, I didn't really care one way or another so I let him make the call. I wasn't giving up my power .... I just didn't care. When something is really important to me, I get my way ..... and vice versa.

abbeythe 8th · ‎04-17-2010

I have to agree, you need to stay out of your sister's marriage.

Your sister does deserve a congratulatory party. Few people throw their own celebrations, generally family and friends throw a party for the guest of honor.

I remember you complained about your sister entertaining her boyfriend overnight when the 2 of you shared an apartment. Is this the same sister?

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@abbeythe 8th wrote:
I have to agree, you need to stay out of your sister's marriage.

Your sister does deserve a congratulatory party. Few people throw their own celebrations, generally family and friends throw a party for the guest of honor.

I remember you complained about your sister entertaining her boyfriend overnight when the 2 of you shared an apartment. Is this the same sister?

I have been wondering the same thing.

And the "party" can be quite simple. A nice dinner out, or a pizza and a bottle of wine.

A party doesn't have to be fancy.

Cranberries · ‎03-09-2010

Maybe the sister wants some expensive circus party when their budget might only allow for a small intimate dinner out.

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

To be fair to the OP just because she is talking about it here doesn't mean she has meddled in her sister's marriage. She could just be making an observation. I talk about things here I don't talk about in real life.

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

ladyroxanne · ‎03-09-2010

i often let my husband have his own way because i get my own way, too. probably more so. it's a two way street. you have to pick your battles and sometimes things that he wants i really don't mind or have no opinon. he on the other hand likes to spoil me, which is how it should be!!

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

What can we say? We don't your sister, we don't know her husband we don't know you. We don't know if you are just seeing what you want to see. Maybe he is controlling, maybe not. Assuming it's true, didn't just happen. He's always been controlling and she married a controlling man. So, for the time being, zip your lip and mind your own business. I say that because if at some point in the future, your sister does have a problem with him, it will be easier for her to confide in you if she doesn't have to worry about "I told you so".

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

Stay out of it. Family usually remembers the bad things that are told. Unless you want them to remember forever, don't complain about every little thing to family. You don't know his side.