Community Chat

[cherry]

There are a lot of people who like the bar at our local diner. Women seem to not have a problem with it

I, on the other hand ,would hate setting there. I'm not sure why?

There is also a corner booth ,I don't like, and we always wait for something else ,if it's crowded, and they try to set us there

I must say, I really like everyone at our diner. I have never seen anyone mistreated. We eat there every morning.

It has a small town family feel to it. We have never witnessed an unruly  patron, or any type of situation where there is conflict.

[DukeBlueNan]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@MickD wrote:

....nothing wrong with sitting at a bar to dine at a nice restaurant....it's not a Kitchen steam table

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It’s something I would not do. Others, to each their own. I don’t feel that I “should” sit anywhere I don’t like to sit, plainly. I’m not a leftover. The feelings of others are not necessarily mine.

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I've never, ever minded sitting and eating at the bar. It's really a lot of fun and most everyone is really happy! I don't understand why you referred to yourself as a "leftover".

If there has ever been a time when I was about to be seated somewhere that I wasn't happy with, I just asked to be moved somewhere else. Simple. 

[sunshine45]

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@Carmie wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@MickD wrote:

....nothing wrong with sitting at a bar to dine at a nice restaurant....it's not a kitchen steam table.

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it is actually my preferred place to sit if i am alone, especially if it is not too crowded.

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Many women were brought up to never sit at a bar alone...ever.  At one time, single women sat there to let men know she was available.

i don’t think that is true anymore, but if there is an empty seat next to you, anyone can sit right next to you.  If you would rather not be bothered while you are eating, a table is more preferable.

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@Carmie

that really is antiquated thinking......and has been for a long time.

it really doesnt bother me who sits next to me at a bar or at another table in a restaurant.

it doesnt matter to me where anyone wants to sit. i was stating that i enjoy sitting at a bar, especially when it is not crowded.

[Noel7]

Unless it's the local dive or hangout for the Heck's Angels, I don't think a woman sitting at the bar is a big deal anymore.  That had to have been a long time ago.

Today, it's very common for women friends to meet at a bar and catch up with each other.  Someone has to get there first.  And a decent bartender knows what to look for if a woman has unwanted company.

[Moonchilde]

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@Noel7 wrote:

I have enjoyed sitting at a bar and chatting with the bartender or others, but not to eat.  Stools are uncomfortable and my legs to short for most, they just dangle.

Restaurants should have a few tables for one available.

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And they usually do, and they are often the kwap tables next to the kitchen or in a corner. and I have sat at these tables when a place was hoppin’ without a second thought. 

But when a place has empty tables and still insists on shoving me in a corner, or has me wait so long for a table (in a half-empty restaurant) that I get up and walk out, IMO that isn’t either necessary or a wise business decision, and it pi**es me off.

[Noel7]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

I have enjoyed sitting at a bar and chatting with the bartender or others, but not to eat.  Stools are uncomfortable and my legs to short for most, they just dangle.

Restaurants should have a few tables for one available.

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And they usually do, and they are often the kwap tables next to the kitchen or in a corner. and I have sat at these tables when a place was hoppin’ without a second thought. 

But when a place has empty tables and still insists on shoving me in a corner, or has me wait so long for a table (in a half-empty restaurant) that I get up and walk out, IMO that isn’t either necessary or a wise business decision, and it pi**es me off.

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ITA @Moonchilde

[Alter Ego]

I guess I don’t eat out a lot unless I’m on vacation. I’ve found that it is sometimes difficult to make online reservations for a solo diner. They have tables for two available, but you have to call for one. I don’t like sitting at the bar because I would prefer to read rather than making uncomfortable (to me at least) conversation with the bartender.

I do see that one particular high end restaurant in the city only has tables for 2 or 4 (one of these price fixed, multi course degustation menu places). It always bothered me and I always thought it would be a good idea to set aside a table for 4 and allow solos to sit and eat together. After all, it’s the type of restaurant where the food is the topic of conversation.

Hope the OP also hit TripAdvisor with her review (sounds like she did.). It’s one of my first stops when I’m traveling and looking for a restaurant- one of their filters is for solo diners.

[Carmie]

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@Carmie wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@MickD wrote:

....nothing wrong with sitting at a bar to dine at a nice restaurant....it's not a kitchen steam table.

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it is actually my preferred place to sit if i am alone, especially if it is not too crowded.

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Many women were brought up to never sit at a bar alone...ever.  At one time, single women sat there to let men know she was available.

i don’t think that is true anymore, but if there is an empty seat next to you, anyone can sit right next to you.  If you would rather not be bothered while you are eating, a table is more preferable.

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@Carmie

that really is antiquated thinking......and has been for a long time.

it really doesnt bother me who sits next to me at a bar or at another table in a restaurant.

it doesnt matter to me where anyone wants to sit. i was stating that i enjoy sitting at a bar, especially when it is not crowded.

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I didn’t say I thought that or that everyone does. I said many women were brought up that way.  My parents owned a restaurant with a bar.  There were many women who came in to eat and they would not sit at the bar. Sometimes there was no other seats available and I would invite them to sit on the end where I stood when I bartended.

And yes, men did try to hit on women who sat at the bar alone.  Often I would have to tell them to back off and leave.  We are talking about a bar where alcohol is served not a counter.

Some  women are comfortable sitting at the bar and others are not. It’s a personal decision..no right or wrong.

[Noel7]

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@Carmie wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@Carmie wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@MickD wrote:

....nothing wrong with sitting at a bar to dine at a nice restaurant....it's not a kitchen steam table.

---

it is actually my preferred place to sit if i am alone, especially if it is not too crowded.

---

Many women were brought up to never sit at a bar alone...ever.  At one time, single women sat there to let men know she was available.

i don’t think that is true anymore, but if there is an empty seat next to you, anyone can sit right next to you.  If you would rather not be bothered while you are eating, a table is more preferable.

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@Carmie

that really is antiquated thinking......and has been for a long time.

it really doesnt bother me who sits next to me at a bar or at another table in a restaurant.

it doesnt matter to me where anyone wants to sit. i was stating that i enjoy sitting at a bar, especially when it is not crowded.

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I didn’t say I thought that or that everyone does. I said many women were brought up that way.  My parents owned a restaurant with a bar.  There were many women who came in to eat and they would not sit at the bar. Sometimes there was no other seats available and I would invite them to sit on the end where I stood when I bartended.

And yes, men did try to hit on women who sat at the bar alone.  Often I would have to tell them to back off and leave.  We are talking about a bar where alcohol is served not a counter.

Some  women are comfortable sitting at the bar and others are not. It’s a personal decision..no right or wrong.

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There are men who will hit on a woman no matter where they are, bar or church.  The latter happened to a good friend of mine.

Maybe it's a regional thing.  There are many incredible upscale bars in San Francisco where women feel free to go, single or not, and that includes gay and lesbian bars.  I've been there enough times with friends.

[Moonchilde]

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@DukeBlueNan wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@MickD wrote:

....nothing wrong with sitting at a bar to dine at a nice restaurant....it's not a Kitchen steam table

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It’s something I would not do. Others, to each their own. I don’t feel that I “should” sit anywhere I don’t like to sit, plainly. I’m not a leftover. The feelings of others are not necessarily mine.

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I've never, ever minded sitting and eating at the bar. It's really a lot of fun and most everyone is really happy! I don't understand why you referred to yourself as a "leftover".

If there has ever been a time when I was about to be seated somewhere that I wasn't happy with, I just asked to be moved somewhere else. Simple. 

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I did NOT refer to myself as a ‘leftover’, but expressed that I did not choose to be treated as one; I suspect you got that, however. I’m not simple :-)

Perhaps it’s time to clarify that I’m not talking about Cracker Barrel, Denny’s, IHOP, or any eating establishment that is an everyday diner type of place or huge national chain.  Those places never turn anyone away, nor do they even have good tables vs bad tables.

I’m speaking of places that have good and “bad” tables, that have views, and/or that have high enough overhead in a volatile industry that you would think they wouldn’t want to put off potential regular customers. Restaurants in a tourist area who cannot make it all year without the return patronage of locals. There is that thing going on at a few places - we’ll tolerate you in January or February when half our tables are empty, but don’t bother from April through September, we neither need nor want you then, bu**er off.