Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,858
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

@Carmie wrote:



Some people take advantage of others when splitting the check 50/50 which as lead to hard feelings, so they now ask for separate checks each and every time with everyone.  I can understand that and would not take offense.



We used to go out on a regular basis with a couple that had been friends with my husband since childhood.


After awhile it became evident that we were paying alot more than what we consumed.


The male of the other couple would order "buckets" of gin and tonic. A "bucket" was 3 drinks of gin and tonic. And he easily downed more of them as fast as the rest of us would down one drink.

Sometimes my husband had just one beer and sometimes I would order a soda. 

The same with the meals. He only ordered the most expensive entrees. 

In the beginning we were enjoying everyone's company we didn't care. But after awhile we did feel like he was taking advantage of us. And one time we actually ended up with the receipt for our meals and drinks because we paid with our credit card. And saw our portion of the bill vs the other couple. It was shocking.

We thought we should have asked for separate checks once in awhile for our Friday night evenings out. I can understand why people might ask for separate checks.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,785
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Most servers in our area ask how we want the checks.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,083
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@depglass wrote:

Most servers in our area ask how we want the checks.

Yes.  Here too. It is never a problem with the restaurants we frequent.

“People do, I don’t.”
Cosmo Kramer
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,775
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@MamaWick wrote:
Do you want to pay for their lobster and cocktails when y'all ordered chicken and ice tea?

@MamaWick - I was reading through all the replies, when I saw this.  And it made me laugh because I was remembering that one of my brothers and his wife had a "social circle" of maybe 4 or 5 couples.


They'd go out to dinner regularly and would take turns paying the entire bill.


They told me that it eventually dawned on all of the rest of them, that one couple in particular would order very absteemiously, when it was their turn to pay.  Water or coffee, no extras.  (I guess assuming everyone else would follow - which they did.)


Then during everyone else's turn to pay, this couple would literally order the most expensive things on the menu:  lobster, prime steaks, appetizers, desserts, along with lots of alcoholic drinks.


I told my brother and SIL that I would've dropped this couple pronto!  OR asked for separate checks!  And it's not as if this particular couple was poor either; exactly the opposite.  They were just miserly with their own money.


I also remember a time in London when a group of us (work outing) had a quick meal at a bistro before the theater.  Well, surprise, when my friend (single mother) and I were asked to pay a "share" of everyone else's bill, because they'd had a lot of cocktails (we had none) and didn't have enough cash to pay for it!  My friend had very little spare money and panicked, but I said "No, we will be paying our own bills."  End of discussion.  The nerve!


Sorry, if anyone feels insulted - I'd be asking for separate checks.  (Oh, and any competent server should know how to provide separate checks; never a problem at any restaurant I've been in.)

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,001
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

@VanSleepy wrote:

My friends and I just split the total by the number of people, but I wouldn't think anything of it if someone asked for separate checks. But when I used to go out with other couples,  those men would never think of asking for separate checks. 

@VanSleepy . Same here !

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,779
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Separate checks ??

[ Edited ]

@Carmie@drizellla   My daughter has a friend who would take advantage of her , when they went out to dinner.


           They have been best friends since high school and now in their 50's. They always split the bill 50/50. But a few times, it was not reasonable when, the friend always drank more than my daughter and then she would order a dinner to take home to her teenage son.


          My daughter would later complain to me, but she should have spoken up to her friend when it happened. The friend never offered to pay more to cover her share. It is too bad that some people will take advantage of others.


           Now her friend moved away to another state in

the midwest.


           I think that it is a good idea to ask for separate checks upfront.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,001
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

@Lakelife62 wrote:

I'm with you OP. I would find it odd and very inconveniencing to the server. We always split the check by number of couples. It doesn't matter who ate or drank what. Generally, we'll all order different apps, bottles of wine, bottled water for the table, so it would be difficult to keep all that on separate bills.

We add in the 20% for tip and split the entire bill 2 or 3 or 4 ways. 

I don't think I've ever gone to dinner with anyone who asked for a separate check. At least not in my adult life. But to each their own.

@Lakelife62   That is exactly what we do with all other couples or family get together at restaurants .  Also adding that 20% for the tip in there.   That's just the way it's always been done in my life with dinners .  That is why We found this so ..well strange .   
I guess if others find it fine for them to do separated checks well that's  fine too ,  just not what I've ever experienced all these years. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,678
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Perhaps this is his understanding of the dinner.  Or he may have burned once to often?


Either way it was kind of him to let the server know up front.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,199
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

What's the big deal?  I would not have thought anything of it.  Perhaps they had an unfortunate experience when dining and splitting the check with another couple and now request separate checks.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,372
Registered: ‎08-10-2013

@Jacie wrote:

I wouldn't think anything about it whatsoever. No big thing.

I agree with your comment, but I love your quote at the bottom.  Sooooo true.