Community Chat

[on the bay]

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@willowbark wrote:

I would just keep calling her by the wrong name.  

@willowbark ,

This made me laugh!

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[RescueLover]

ME TOO !! @willowbark ❄️



AND if that ever happened to me, I’d be tempted to take your advice ! 😂

[on the bay]

@jellyBEAN,

After reading most of these replies, I thought you know she just may be socially awkward, not have what we call the "social graces."

So maybe she didn't naturally know how to correct someone in a more gentle or lighthearted way but just blurted out what was in her head which turned out embarrassing and awkward.

You probably have a better sense though of what kind of person she is or maybe not enough to know her.

I guess unless we know someone well it's hard to know what they are like are what kind of issues they have themselves.

That word issues always makes me laugh beause one of my daughters will often say "She has issues." (instead of saying a whole lot about all her problems.)

If she meant to say it in a disparaging way, well then I still don't like her!

[monicakm]

@SilleeMee 

My dad told me the same thing in so many words. 

[kaydee50]

@GingerHead   I do the same thing--greeting the dogs first and then maybe see the people.  Who is more important?? --LOL!!!

[LuvSoCal]

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@Cakers3 wrote:
You only indicated saying "Hello" when seeing her out and about in your neighborhood. You didn't say you said any name. Nor did she say your name.

From what I see you didn't call her by her correct name at this gathering so you apparently heard someone being called the incorrect name. Then mistakenly called her that name.

You did not say she said you called her an incorrect name when out walking.
It looks as though she said you used the wrong name at that moment.
So it looks like you heard another name during introductions and mistook it for hers.

It happens and she certainly was right to correct you. I'm not reading nastiness in her response and the quiz about names is a laugh I've heard at retreats and other gatherings where participants introduce themselves.

I think calling her rude etc. is out of line. It does not appear the incorrect name happened before this event.

I do not know your sensitivity level but if we cannot laugh at ourselves then we would be looking at the whole world against us.

It happened. It's over.
Relax and have some ice cream.🍦

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@Cakers3 Exactly! I don't think the other lady was rude at all. When being introduced to someone else other people sometimes hear the wrong thing. For example, there have been several occasions when I've been introduced and the other person will say something like "It's nice to meet you Betty." Well, my name is not Betty but that's what they heard (they also hear Gabby). I don't want them thinking that either one is my name (no offense to Bettys and Gabbys lol). I will politely correct them with a smile on my face.

[AngelPuppy1]

@jellyBEAN 

If you want to attend gatherings of this group and think you will enjoy it occasionally, then don't let one rude individual keep you from being involved in it!

Some people enjoy singling out a person and making them feel uncomfortable.  I understand that you would feel this way and really there was no call for this person to do this.  But try to let it go and have as little interaction as possible with this person.  If you see her again, just be pleasant and don't address her by name and kind of brush her off if you can.  

[jellyBEAN]

Thank you for all the responses. 

Just to clarify, one day when I said Hello _____, it was out of the norm for me as I usually just say Hello and keep walking.  I don't even recall saying the name she told me I called her.

This group of people has been meeting for years.  They all seem to know each other, having met every week all this time, so I am the newbie in the group.  The leader of the group was introducing me to everyone as we were seated in a circle all facing each other.  When the group leader said "and you know _______" that's when the lady scolded me about calling her a different name.  I said, "I did? I don't recall calling you that name, but I'm sorry if I did."  And that was it.  

I had met her years ago, she lives in a close neighborhood to mine.  But it was years ago and we just see each other in passing, never conversing.  Oh well.  It's a study group so we don't have to have much conversation.  I was just embarrassed to be called out in front of the group.  

[Sooner]

Not everybody is perfect like most or all of us are.  If you are going to be in a group you won't like all of them or most of them.  They will be different than we are.  To be in a group you have to take the good with the not so great most often.  

It's all part of what makes a group interesting.  When you are with people, be accepting of reasonable behavior and mine for the gems there.  

[RescueLover]

Basically @jellyBEAN 💕


She was WRONG for embarrassing YOU !