Community Chat

[Porcelain]

You are the only person you know for sure will be available whenever you need to feel loved. No matter how wonderful other people are, everyone else is busy or distracted sometimes.

If you can't count on yourself to give yourself a hug and encouragement, it's not much different than a parent turning their back on a crying toddler who wants to be held. The one person who absolutely has to have your back 100% of the time is you.

I have had the hardest time learning this. But I'm getting better.

[Porcelain]

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@blackhole99 wrote:

I think people who are raised by parents who provide a supportive, loving home have no problem loving themselves.

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I wish that were true. Most parents provide supportive loving homes. They do their best, but they all have their own issues they may not even be aware of. You can have love and support your whole life and still not get all your emotional ducks in a row until you make a big effort.

Now I want a gif of an emotional duck for this post.

[MyShadowLove]

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@Porcelain wrote:

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@blackhole99 wrote:

I think people who are raised by parents who provide a supportive, loving home have no problem loving themselves.

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I wish that were true. Most parents provide supportive loving homes. They do their best, but they all have their own issues they may not even be aware of. You can have love and support your whole life and still not get all your emotional ducks in a row until you make a big effort.

Now I want a gif of an emotional duck for this post. 

@Porcelain  

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[blackhole99]

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@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

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@blackhole99 wrote:

I think people who are raised by parents who provide a supportive, loving home have no problem loving themselves.

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@blackhole99 ...I will agree that many of those raised in a supportive, loving home have no problem loving themselves, such as myself, however, not all of them got the message.  

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@Lindsays Grandma  It's probably not even being raised by loving parents. Once you go out into the world unless you have an innate sense of self worth, the world will chip away at what's been nurtured at home. Just because our family loves us and thinks we are beautiful, the world has it's own idea.

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[phoenixbrd]

This is a very poignant and reflective topic.  Thanks, as always but for a different reason, @Lindsays Grandma.

[phoenixbrd]

@MyShadowLove   Adore

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@Porcelain  

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[Lindsays Grandma]

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@blackhole99 wrote:

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@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

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@blackhole99 wrote:

I think people who are raised by parents who provide a supportive, loving home have no problem loving themselves.

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@blackhole99 ...I will agree that many of those raised in a supportive, loving home have no problem loving themselves, such as myself, however, not all of them got the message.  

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@Lindsays Grandma  It's probably not even being raised by loving parents. Once you go out into the world unless you have an innate sense of self worth, the world will chip away at what's been nurtured at home. Just because our family loves us and thinks we are beautiful, the world has it's own idea.

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@blackhole99 ...In your first post you said you think people who are raised by parents who provide a supportive loving home have no problem loving themselves.  In your second post you said it's probably not even being raised by loving parents, and went on to declare that going out into the world chips away at what's been learned at home and just because our family loves us and thinks we are beautiful, the world has it's own idea.  So, can you please explain which of the two you feel the strongest about?  I'm just curious.

[happycat]

This is difficult for me. I don't even know how to love myself, I feel like. I wasn't raised to do this, I was raised by parents who seemed to worry too much about what others thought and they can still be manipulative. It has taken me 50 years to put my foot down. 

I do not put up with things like I use to, I try not to anymore anyway. 

Very good post, @Lindsays Grandma. 

One of my hardest lessons, is that just because I have been good to friends and there for them in their time of need, does not mean they will reciprocate for me when my world is falling apart. 

[Porcelain]

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@MyShadowLove wrote:

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@Porcelain wrote:

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@blackhole99 wrote:

I think people who are raised by parents who provide a supportive, loving home have no problem loving themselves.

---

I wish that were true. Most parents provide supportive loving homes. They do their best, but they all have their own issues they may not even be aware of. You can have love and support your whole life and still not get all your emotional ducks in a row until you make a big effort.

Now I want a gif of an emotional duck for this post. 

@Porcelain  

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Hahaha that is the perfect emotional duck. Plus an emotional support kitten. I love it, @MyShadowLove. Thank you!

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@happycat wrote:

This is difficult for me. I don't even know how to love myself, I feel like. I wasn't raised to do this, I was raised by parents who seemed to worry too much about what others thought and they can still be manipulative. It has taken me 50 years to put my foot down. 

I do not put up with things like I use to, I try not to anymore anyway. 

Very good post, @Lindsays Grandma. 

One of my hardest lessons, is that just because I have been good to friends and there for them in their time of need, does not mean they will reciprocate for me when my world is falling apart. 

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@happycat ...I have been very lucky in having had three friends who were always there for me as I was for them.  They are deceased, each from breast cancer and my heart hurts everyday from missing them.  One thing you have to teach yourself is to never expect anyone to be there for you when you need a helping hand.  In that way, you will be very happy when they give you a helping and and not disappointed when they don't.  It is hard, I know, but you must never put yourself in the position of being hurt.  The one person in my life who should be there for me as I was for her each and everyday, even now, is my daughter.  Because I now know she isn't and won't be there for me, I don't expect it.  Does it hurt?  Yes, a whole lot but not as much as it would if I expected it.  Stay strong, and God Bless You.