Community Chat

[Carmie]

@Cakers3  Unfortunally, sometimes we don’t know for sure.  I know a couple of boys with Aspergers.  They are beautiful normal looking kids, but often they do inappropriate things when they are stressed.  

Usually, when out and about, the other children in the family are well behaved and this one child is acting out.  The parents look stressed and embarrassed and they are not ignoring the child.

If the parents are ignoring the behavior and it’s more,than one child with bad behavior, it is probably bad parenting.

[Mz iMac]

@ciao_bella

Main reason why my mother retired from teaching @ 50 yrs old after 30 yrs.  She taught kindergarden-3rd grade.

[GCR18]

I wonder why they chose to sit next to another occupied table when there were many available.  I am usually the lucky one whom the restaurant seats the unbehaved children next to.  Last month I met a friend for lunch.  We went at 11am so it would be quieter and we could get in/out in an hour.  Tons of empty tables and a group was put at the next table with a restless toddler.  

[Noel7]

That’s life.  No doubt most of us have run into situations like that or worse, 

It’s going to keep happening, there will always be rude and thoughtless people.  React in a way best for you. Ask the waiter to move you to another table or to put your food in a carry out.  

Yes, it shouldn’t happen, but it does and we all know it.  

[Cakers3]

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@Carmiewrote:

@Cakers3  Unfortunally, sometimes we don’t know for sure.  I know a couple of boys with Aspergers.  They are beautiful normal looking kids, but often they do inappropriate things when they are stressed.  

Usually, when out and about, the other children in the family are well behaved and this one child is acting out.  The parents look stressed and embarrassed and they are not ignoring the child.

If the parents are ignoring the behavior and it’s more,than one child with bad behavior, it is probably bad parenting.

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@Carmie  Parents can look embarrassed because the child is simply obnoxious and they lost control a long time ago.

My issue is that we often see posters here being slammed for not being "more tolerant".

It doesn't matter if there is only one child in the group acting out.  It still doesn't mean the other diners have to put up with it. 

There is no magic formula everyone is supposed to use-whether it is one child alone or one child in a multiple child family.

It's like trying to determine if a "emotional support" animal is really needed; how does one know if Porky PIg on the plane is really a support animal or just  the pet of a really cheap passenger.

Ok-now I've really opened up a can of smelly worms.  LOL

[tansy]

The other day at lunchtime my husband and I were led through two rooms with several empty tables to a spot wedged in a corner right next to a family with a toddler and a baby.  The host rolled her eyes when I requested one of the window tables in the other room but I’d swear the parents were relieved.

[Wsmom]

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@Cakers3wrote:

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@Carmiewrote:

We don’t frequent restaurants  often, but when we are on vacation, we often have no choice.

i have three children and two youngest are only 1 year apart.  Years ago when  we took our children into a restaurant, we went during “off hours” never during the rush hours for any meal. That way my kids would not be overwhelmed and bother other patrons.

My children never hit us or dumped things on the table.  They were not allowed to get out of their seat and run around either.  We usually took a new toy or something to keep them occupied.  My daughter who is the oldest, was a perfect child from birth to age 16. She just did as she was told and we could take her anywhere. Her daughter is the same way.

My boys...close in age, would sometimes try something they weren’t allowed to do, and they were taken outside until they they understood  the rules and were ready to return.  I am a no nonsense parent.

i take my grandkids into restaurants..all three at once.  I have never had a problem with them either, though my son has on occasion with his two.  Kids just naturally listen to me.  I give them the “look” and they settle down.

Sometimes patents don’t have a choice in taking kids to a restaurant.  They have to eat too. In your case, the kids were there during an off hour, but the parents should have made them behave and taken them outside if they acted up. And, they should have seated themselves away from other people since there were empty seats.  Sounds like bad parenting.

Then, there are children and adults who have emotional or other health issues,that make it impossible for them to be seated and be quiet.  When someone has a handicap, the rest of us should try to understand.

There are some restaurants that do not allow children or only allow respectful children.  They are usually expensive places where it would be too costly to feed kids there anyway.

Small family run restaurants often do not do that.  They can’t afford to lose the business of families.  They need the money to stay in business.  If this the only time something like this happen in this restaurant, I would just forget about it.  If it happens often, i’d look for another place to have lunch.

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@Carmie  How does one determine if a child has an "emotional" health issue or if the child is just unruly?

I see this from time to time-that the diners are responsible to "try to understand" or "be more tolerant".

Yes, everyone has to eat.  However, it isn't my responsibility to determine if a child is just obnoxious or has an "issue" for which I should be more understanding.

Thrown the bricks now.  But my question is sincere.

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I have a child with disabilites and issues and as a small child would sometimes become unruly in a restaurant.  As soon as that happened one of us immediately walked out of the restaurant with her until she was able to be calm.  In instances when she was not able to, we took turns eating.  So I have been there, done that, and that's how we handled it.  

[SeaMaiden]

I do not eat out for many reasons... and children is another good reason. 

[Ketra]

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@catwhispererwrote:

This is why I get take out and eat at home in peace.

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Hehhhhh! Amen to that sister!😀 

[mousiegirl]

I remember one evening, early, DH and I took DD who was about eight months, in her stroller.  I knew people were probably muttering to themselves, but I knew my baby girl.  She was an angel, as usual, then, lol, and on the way out a lady came to our table to say we had a little angel, and I agreed.  I take no credit, it was her personality, always smiling, never trouble.

If children misbehave, it is usually due to the parents.  Parents who let their kids miss their naps, then take them to a restaurant, is a recipe for disaster, and on and on.

DH's parent would take crayons and books for he and his sister, and they would go under the table and be quiet, happy as clams, lol.