Community Chat

[Mom2Dogs]

No dessert at my house until the lunch dishes are cleaned up....I want to enjoy dessert and have more conversation.  

[candys mine]

Since you have given them a time to be there, carry on with the plans you made.  Welcome them warmly when they show up and give them a doggie bag to take home. 

They get to join in where you are at not you having to back track for them.  Once the event is over you can ask them, since you've noticed their habitual tardiness, if their intent is to miss the meal for whatever personal reason and then make arrangements for them to come on over for Dessert and festivities in the future.

[Yardlie]

I've had that happen to me also. When we were young, we once waited 1  l/2 hours for an uncle who kept calling Christmas Day with all kinds of excuses. "I'm having car trouble," "I'm on my way," "I'm lost," blah, blah, blah. The food was ready. We were starved. The children were cranky. After that, we always told people who we invited, "We're eating at 1:00 pm if you'd like to join us." He called the next holiday after we told him that and tried another excuse. We told him that we were eating, but if he still wanted to come later, I could make him a sandwich. After that he showed up on time.

I read an article that said people who are chronically late are control freaks. It makes sense.

[Mominohio]

I haven't read the replies, but my brother and his wife were like this on a regular basis and I had some cousins pull it once. 

We stopped inviting them. Plain and simple.

I had invited some cousins over for a meal, then we had plans to go look at a piece of property (farm) that goes back in our family history and we were all wanting to explore it. They decided the football game they were watching was more important, and they called when they were expected and said they'd be over just after the game. 

That time came and went, then a call that the husband was napping, and they'd be over after that. By the time they got to our house (several hours late), we had time to eat (thank heavens it was just homemade soup I'd kept warm in the crockpot), but it was dark and couldn't go to the farm. I've never invited them to anything since, and don't plan to.

And if we are having something where they are coming, we go on with the event and don't wait, unless they call and there is some really good reason they are late (like being tied up waiting for an accident to clear on the freeway). 

It's rude to do, and after years of putting up with it from my brother and his wife, We simply move on and when they show up they get cold and what's left. 

I don't do it to others, and I won't tolerate it on a regular basis.

[software]

If I were late, I would not expect people to wait on me.

Everyone has commitments.

People who eat with you may have something they need to do afterward, you can't make them run late.   Or maybe they like to get home before dark.  

I would never hold up everyone and like another poster stated, I would welcome the late comers warmly, let them fix a plate & use the microwave.

[wagirl]

We eat without them---and they can have what's left!! 

[Bri36]

I would eat without them and not give it a second thought.

[QueenDanceALot]

I wouldn't hold dinner for clods who can't even be bothered to show up on time.

[sunshine45]

it generally does not bother me. we mostly entertain buffet style so it is easy to leave food out and when they get there they can serve themselves. i always do some appetizers and cocktails also so if i am running behind myself a bit i am not starving my guests. i hate sitting down to eat right when people arrive. i like them to mingle for a while and talk.  1/2 hour is no big deal at all, 90 minutes is pretty late.

for those who are chronically late to our home i usually give them a different time to arrive.....as in one hour earlier.

[VanSleepy]

I always tell people something like, "We're eating at 4:00 but you can come anytime after 3:00."  Then those who might want to sit and have a drink first and those who want to sit down to eat soon can do as they please.  I will wait 10-15 minutes if someone hasn't arrived because stuff happens.  But if you come in after we've begun eating, you should apologize, not me.