Community Chat

[AuntG]

I agree with another poster who said they probably waited until the holiday rush was over.

[Jordan2]

I'm the OP and I just found out save the date cards did go out, I didn't get one. I guess I'm on the "B" list!

[Hayfield]

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@Jordan2 wrote:

I'm the OP and I just found out save the date cards did go out, I didn't get one. I guess I'm on the "B" list!

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In 2000, my cousin's daughter was getting married and only my DH &I were invited and we RSVP'd that we were going.  Well a week before the wedding she called me to invite my two children since quite a few older family members weren't able to make the trip.  I was insulted and one my children did attend, the other had plans.  My DS got invited "at the last minute" to a friend's wedding, for the same reason, many people who were originally invited couldn't come.  Well, he went and had a great time.  Go if you feel close to the couple or family and decline if you don't feel close to them.  I wouldn't make the decision based on when I got the invite or whether it was black tie or not.  If I didn't have a fancy dress, I wouldn't spend money on one, I'd wear the best outfit I had.  Nobody is looking at you, it's the bride's day.  

[Hayfield]

Correction on my last reply:  I wasn't insulted!  (I really need to proof read my posts!)

[wildlifewitch]

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@VanSleepy wrote:

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@wildlifewitch wrote:

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@Jordan2 wrote:

Thanks to everyone for their advice. I think I'll send the couple $100. I don't like black tie affairs, I feel I have to buy a fancy dress and shoes that I probably won't get much wear out of. Money is kind of tight so not going and sending a gift is the best option for me. 

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All you need is a LBD. The bride wants to shine anyway, so let her.That works for me. Fancy wedding means top shelf liquor and good food. Re-consider going.

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LOL @wildlifewitch you sound like me.  I love going to weddings, but for some people they are just a PITA (I don't mean you, Jordan2) :-) 

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I actually hate the wedding part, but I love receptions lol.

[CelticCrafter]

Any wedding we were ever invited to, the invites were sent out 2 months ahead of the wedding and the rsvp's were due back a month before the wedding.

[Allegheny]

Ok, I just couldn't resist posting this.  About 4 years ago one of my husband's out of state nephews was getting married.  He and his finance actually sent out two different invitations depending upon who they thought would attend.  It was just plain strange.

We and my husband's brother & SIL got a complete invitation with response card/envelope, directions, hotel reservations,  etc.  My husband's brother & SIL have two grown/married sons.  One in Minnesota, the other here in Pennsylvania.  Both of them got a totally different invitation which contained a card to kindly call to RSVP, but lacked all the other inserts. 

I don't think it was a money/gift grab issue and they just wanted to announce their upcoming marriage to their cousins and leave their attendance open ended but it sure caused us all to scratch our heads.

[viva923]

If you are good friends of the family or the bridal couple, I would send a gift ( in form of money or prepaid credit card).  The amount would be something you could afford comfortably. 

If you really are not friends of family or bridal couple, I wouldn't send them a gift, a card wishing them well would be nice.

This does sound like you were a person left on the maybe list. Bridal couple must have had a bunch of no's,and to meet the quota of the amouth of payment they agreed to with caterier, you were pushed to the top of the list of invitees. 

[scatcat]

Did you go to a shower? (Gift)

We got a postcard invite to a shower my DH's cousin was throwing for themselves on like a Tues at 4:00 2000 miles away. They included wiring instructions to their bank. His mother was mortified 

[sunala]

I'm still waiting for a thank you card for a wedding gift I sent to a distant cousin last April. We didn't attend the wedding because it was out of state and at that time, we couldn't travel. We sent a generous gift with apologies for not being able to attend.

Did any of you get a thank you card from her? Well, neither did we.

I asked a few relatives if they got thank you notes and none of them did either.

I have to say, I'm really PI$$ED! How rude can you get?

I'm kind of turned off, as the last few weddings we attended we didn't get thank you cards. One was three years ago lol

To the OP, I'm sure you'll make the right decision.