Question About A Wedding Invitation - Page 2

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

If you were an after thought I'd send my regrets & no check. You don't owe them anything.If you were considered close to them you would have gotten a proper invitation!!

When a venue is booked you have to guarantee them a certain amount of guests at a certain price per guest.If people don't show they still have to pay the agreed minimum.People tend to invite other fill ins the last minute to recoup the money for the unused plates.In other words in my opinion this is a gift grab!! It happens all the time.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:
I got a wedding invitation today in the mail. It was mailed on January 3 for a February 19 wedding. You must RSVP by January 15, it's a black tie affair.I'm thinking 9 days isn't much time to RSVP and am thinking I was an after thought invite, maybe they have gotten a number of nos.I won't be attending but I am wondering how much should a couple not attending a wedding give as a gift (a check)?TIA

I don't think you were an afterthought. 6 weeks ahead is just about right. Also, they probably didn't want their invitations to get caught up in all the holiday mail. But either way, in my experience this is not late to be receiving an invitation. I also think the RSVP date is fine. People generally know if they're free on a particular date or not, and if they want to attend. It shouldn't take weeks to figure that out.

Not everyone sends Save the Dates, btw. And there have been some heated discussions here about whether they're appropriate or not, so it's ironic to me that some posters are assuming that you were on the B-list because you didn't receive one.

As for a gift, it completely depends on how well you know the couple or their parents, and how much you want to give. Customary amounts vary greatly by region, too. I think you should just give whatever you feel like giving.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@NYC Susan wrote:
@Jordan2 wrote:
I got a wedding invitation today in the mail. It was mailed on January 3 for a February 19 wedding. You must RSVP by January 15, it's a black tie affair.I'm thinking 9 days isn't much time to RSVP and am thinking I was an after thought invite, maybe they have gotten a number of nos.I won't be attending but I am wondering how much should a couple not attending a wedding give as a gift (a check)?TIA

I don't think you were an afterthought. 6 weeks ahead is just about right. Also, they probably didn't want their invitations to get caught up in all the holiday mail. But either way, in my experience this is not late to be receiving an invitation. I also think the RSVP date is fine. People generally know if they're free on a particular date or not, and if they want to attend. It shouldn't take weeks to figure that out.

Not everyone sends Save the Dates, btw. And there have been some heated discussions here about whether they're appropriate or not, so it's ironic to me that some posters are assuming that you were on the B-list because you didn't receive one.

As for a gift, it completely depends on how well you know the couple or their parents, and how much you want to give. Customary amounts vary greatly by region, too. I think you should just give whatever you feel like giving.

@NYC Susan @Jordan2

ITA .... and most people know if they're available or not whenever the invitation arrives, and IF they want to go.

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

Thanks to everyone for their advice. I think I'll send the couple $100. I don't like black tie affairs, I feel I have to buy a fancy dress and shoes that I probably won't get much wear out of. Money is kind of tight so not going and sending a gift is the best option for me.

Major Shopper · ‎06-21-2010

@Jordan2 Very nice of you to send a $100 gift! Too bad you have decided not to attend the wedding. No matter if you were an afterthought or not, weddings are fun! You made it to "the list" so someone was thinking of you!

hovis · ‎10-24-2014

If I can't attend a wedding or shower I still send a gift. I spend the same amount whether I go or not. Your invitation was not an after thought. Like another poster said you received it in just the right amount of time. And if you knew the couple you also knew the wedding was coming up.

wildlifewitch · ‎02-08-2016

@Jordan2 wrote:
I got a wedding invitation today in the mail. It was mailed on January 3 for a February 19 wedding. You must RSVP by January 15, it's a black tie affair.I'm thinking 9 days isn't much time to RSVP and am thinking I was an after thought invite, maybe they have gotten a number of nos.I won't be attending but I am wondering how much should a couple not attending a wedding give as a gift (a check)?TIA

There is an obligation to send a gift, but I would also consider the realationship. If they are the type to invite for gifts, I'd send no gift. Hope that helps.

wildlifewitch · ‎02-08-2016

@Jordan2 wrote:
Thanks to everyone for their advice. I think I'll send the couple $100. I don't like black tie affairs, I feel I have to buy a fancy dress and shoes that I probably won't get much wear out of. Money is kind of tight so not going and sending a gift is the best option for me.

All you need is a LBD. The bride wants to shine anyway, so let her.That works for me. Fancy wedding means top shelf liquor and good food. Re-consider going.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:
Thanks to everyone for their advice. I think I'll send the couple $100. I don't like black tie affairs, I feel I have to buy a fancy dress and shoes that I probably won't get much wear out of. Money is kind of tight so not going and sending a gift is the best option for me.

Perfect decision because it's exactly what I would do. :-) I also don't like "affairs," and I think $100 is the sweet spot.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

@wildlifewitch wrote:
@Jordan2 wrote:
Thanks to everyone for their advice. I think I'll send the couple $100. I don't like black tie affairs, I feel I have to buy a fancy dress and shoes that I probably won't get much wear out of. Money is kind of tight so not going and sending a gift is the best option for me.
All you need is a LBD. The bride wants to shine anyway, so let her.That works for me. Fancy wedding means top shelf liquor and good food. Re-consider going.

LOL @wildlifewitch you sound like me. I love going to weddings, but for some people they are just a PITA (I don't mean you, Jordan2) :-)