Question About A Wedding Invitation - Page 4

september · ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:
I'm the OP and I just found out save the date cards did go out, I didn't get one. I guess I'm on the "B" list!

I'm sorry, but I think you may be right about that. I don't like this "a list, b list" trend. If it were me, I'd just say no.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Hayfield wrote:
Correction on my last reply: I wasn't insulted! (I really need to proof read my posts!)

I agree with you. (And thanks for the correction - I was a bit confused!) :-)

A few years ago one of my co-workers was getting married. I was new to the job, and she had only invited two members of our large staff (and she had worked with those two for years). So I wasn't invited, and that was fine. She was of course excited about her upcoming wedding, loved to talk about the details, and I liked hearing about them. We worked a lot of nights together and sometimes things were slow, so we talked a lot and got along very well.

A few weeks before the wedding, she asked me if I would like to go. She said her mother had discovered that the venue could hold more people than they originally thought and had asked her if there was anyone else she wanted to invite. She said, "You've always been so interested in alll the details, and I thought you might like to be there. I'd love it if you would come."

So I went. I'm sure some people would have been insulted, and criticial of the bride. But I wasn't at all. It was not a conventional invitation, but I took it in the spirit in which it had been intended. It was a lovely wedding, and I had a great time.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@scatcat wrote:
Did you go to a shower? (Gift)

We got a postcard invite to a shower my DH's cousin was throwing for themselves on like a Tues at 4:00 2000 miles away. They included wiring instructions to their bank. His mother was mortified

I'm pretty open-minded with things like this, and a firm believer that people should do what they want, and others shouldn't be quick to judge or criticize. Not everyone does things the way that I do, and there's no reason why they should. So I let a lot of things that I think are somewhat questionable simply slide.

This, though - providing wiring instructions to the bank. No. Just no. That's awful.

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

@scatcat wrote:
Did you go to a shower? (Gift)

We got a postcard invite to a shower my DH's cousin was throwing for themselves on like a Tues at 4:00 2000 miles away. They included wiring instructions to their bank. His mother was mortified

@scatcat, I don't think the bride has had a shower yet, I'm sure she will. I haven't received an invitation as of yet. The spending gets out of control, engagement, shower, wedding gifts, then the expense of buying a dress and shoes.

Daisy Sunflower · ‎10-26-2010

@NYC Susan wrote:
A few years ago one of my co-workers was getting married.

A few weeks before the wedding, she asked me if I would like to go. She said, "You've always been so interested in alll the details, and I thought you might like to be there. So I went.

If you talked with her a lot about it, maybe she thought you were giving her hints that you'd like to be invited.

CANDLEQUEEN · ‎03-09-2010

My Uncle got married back in July, it was both of their 2nd marriage. Anyway they had a big wedding and reception, and she had a wedding shower and on the invitations it said please contribute money to the bride and groom's cruise. Now it was worded much better than I just said it, but the point is is they had lived together for 15 years and owned a home together.......I felt like they just had the big party to get as much money as they could for their big cruise next month!

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

How much money should a couple attending a wedding give the couple? Does the area of the country factor into the amount you give? I have heard people say the amount they pay per person has gone up in price, they would like the gift to cover the amount at least.. Someone told me the going rate nowadays is $350-$500!

CANDLEQUEEN · ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:
How much money should a couple attending a wedding give the couple? Does the area of the country factor into the amount you give? I have heard people say the amount they pay per person has gone up in price, they would like the gift to cover the amount at least.. Someone told me the going rate nowadays is $350-$500!

No way would I ever give that much, that is crazy! I usually give 100.00, and that is usually for family/ or good friends children....In my opinion and mine only anything between 50-100 is acceptable!

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:
How much money should a couple attending a wedding give the couple? Does the area of the country factor into the amount you give? I have heard people say the amount they pay per person has gone up in price, they would like the gift to cover the amount at least.. Someone told me the going rate nowadays is $350-$500!

I think it definitely depends on the area. I have never heard of giving someone enough to cover the cost of you being there, until I started posting on this board. That doesn't even make sense because how would anyone know what the per head cost was?

I'm in a suburb of Cleveland. Here, a $100.00 is considered generous. I personally give based on my relationship with the person but $100.00 is the least I would give. HOwever, I could see that in someplace like NYC, I would give more.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Daisy wrote:
@NYC Susan wrote:
A few years ago one of my co-workers was getting married.

A few weeks before the wedding, she asked me if I would like to go. She said, "You've always been so interested in alll the details, and I thought you might like to be there. So I went.

If you talked with her a lot about it, maybe she thought you were giving her hints that you'd like to be invited.

No, it wasn't like that at all. She mostly talked, and I was polite and interested. As I said, I was new to the job. We were part of a very large staff, and she had only invited two co-workers. I never would have expected to be invited, and she certainly knew that. She thanked me all the time for listening to all the ups and downs involved in the planning. A lot of our co-workers got tired of all the wedding talk, so often she turned to me.

She also was most definitely not the type of person who would do anything she didn't want to do. She knew exactly what she wanted - very strong personality! -- and she would not have invited anyone simply because they were "giving her hints".

My point really was that being invited a little late in the game is not necessarily a terrible thing.