Re: People's last wishes (Long Post)

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

@KingstonsMom wrote:
This thread is from January, revived by another 'new poster', like the 'Finding a lawyer' thread, which is over 2 years old, revived by another 'new poster'.......what gives with reviving such old threads by new posters??

http://community.qvc.com/t5/Community-Chat/finding-a-lawyer/m-p/928458#U928458

YES, i wish people would stop doing that.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@Mominohio,

I know all too well how this type of situation goes, and in our situation it's not been good.

My SIL was put in this position with her mother's estate. My MIL didn't speak to her sisters for 15 years prior to her death, and made it clear they were not allowed at her funeral. My SIL was not going to enforce her mother's wish, but did not call her aunts to let them know they were welcome to come to the funeral, or be with the family either. We are still dealing with their hard feelings. One of my husbands brothers is very irresponsible with money, and had a rocky relationship with his mother. They had not spoken for 2 years before she died, and he did not come in to be with her for her last Christmas---nor did he call. He and his family showed up for the funeral as if nothing had nothing had ever happened, and of course they had their hands out for anything they could carry off. My SIL gave him all of the personal items he was to receive the day he left to go home; he knew what he was supposed to get, and received every item.

There was a big surprise for this son when the will was read, that he was not made aware of in advance, and the result was pretty much like throwing gasoline on a fire that is still blazing 5 1/2 years later. I understood why my MIL wrote her will as she did, and in all honesty, she was still looking out for this son, but that is not how he views the monetary part of his inheritance. His relationships with his siblings has changed, and he only speaks to my husband. This BIL has deep regrets about not coming in that last Christmas, and not fixing things with his mother, but that cannot be fixed now. He accepts that he has to live with that every day, but feels it's made worse by the fact his sister, as executrix of the will, is still keeping his mother's part of their personal issue alive and "in his face", by following those last wishes to the final detail. My SIL prefers to stick to her mother's wishes rather than have a cordial relationship with her brother.

I am a firm believer in last wishes, and believe any family disagreements should be settled before someone dies. If it is not settled in advance, I consider it settled when one person dies. If your mother is not agreeable to sharing her will with your sister before she dies, I think you should do what you feel is right, and what you can live with as far as the personal items.