POST-NUPTIAL AGREEMENTS

Spinach · ‎03-29-2010

My husband and I, married now for six months, are working on our trusts. We are in our late fifties. We both came into the marriage with previous assets. I don't believe in pre-nups or post-nups and to me it means you are already planning for a divorce. While preparing his trust his attorney suggested that a post-nuptial agreement be done. While I was preparing my trust with my attorney she suggested the same. I'm against it! Didn't do a pre-nuptial and won't do a post-nuptial. He and I do not have any children.

Would you sign either a pre-nup or post-nup agreement if you were presented with it?

Whatever happened to marriage until death do us part?

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Spinach wrote:
My husband and I, married now for six months, are working on our trusts. We are in our late fifties. We both came into the marriage with previous assets. I don't believe in pre-nups or post-nups and to me it means you are already planning for a divorce. While preparing his trust his attorney suggested that a post-nuptial agreement be done. While I was preparing my trust with my attorney she suggested the same. I'm against it! Didn't do a pre-nuptial and won't do a post-nuptial. He and I do not have any children.

Would you sign either a pre-nup or post-nup agreement if you were presented with it?

Whatever happened to marriage until death do us part?

@Spinach

Yikes!! So you are not taking the advice of TWO attornies because you're hoping this will be a "till death do us part" marriage? What if it isn't? Were either of you previously married?

Personally, I think you are WAY off base with your comment that "pre-nups and post-nups mean you are already planning for a divorce". No, it doesn't.

Since the divorce rate in this country hovers around 50% for first marriages, and around 60% for subsequent marriages, I think you should reconsider. If your marriage ends in one of you dying, good for you. However, none of us has a crystal ball.

bri20 · ‎03-10-2016

How does your husband feel about it?

Attorneys make their money by drawing up these documents. Of course they're going to suggest them.

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

@Spinach wrote:
My husband and I, married now for six months, are working on our trusts. We are in our late fifties. We both came into the marriage with previous assets. I don't believe in pre-nups or post-nups and to me it means you are already planning for a divorce. While preparing his trust his attorney suggested that a post-nuptial agreement be done. While I was preparing my trust with my attorney she suggested the same. I'm against it! Didn't do a pre-nuptial and won't do a post-nuptial. He and I do not have any children.

Would you sign either a pre-nup or post-nup agreement if you were presented with it?

Whatever happened to marriage until death do us part?

People and circumstances change over time. No one should divorce over a trivial matter and couples need to do some work to get along, but if that work outweighs happiness more often than not, I see no need for both people to be unhappy until one of them is dead. That's punishment, not marriage.

My father has never been one to believe in divorce. He's always sad when couples split up. Many years ago, my aunt, my mother's sister, told my parents about how her husband treated her. I'd never liked the guy, but it turned out he'd been having an affair, treating the kids very badly, and was emotionally abusive. My dad responded by telling her he would get her the best divorce lawyer in town.

I truly hope you and your husband are happy for the rest of your lives, but I also recognize that not everyone will be.

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Spinach · ‎03-29-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@Spinach wrote:
My husband and I, married now for six months, are working on our trusts. We are in our late fifties. We both came into the marriage with previous assets. I don't believe in pre-nups or post-nups and to me it means you are already planning for a divorce. While preparing his trust his attorney suggested that a post-nuptial agreement be done. While I was preparing my trust with my attorney she suggested the same. I'm against it! Didn't do a pre-nuptial and won't do a post-nuptial. He and I do not have any children.

Would you sign either a pre-nup or post-nup agreement if you were presented with it?

Whatever happened to marriage until death do us part?
@Spinach

Yikes!! So you are not taking the advice of TWO attornies because you're hoping this will be a "till death do us part" marriage? What if it isn't? Were either of you previously married?

Personally, I think you are WAY off base with your comment that "pre-nups and post-nups mean you are already planning for a divorce". No, it doesn't.

Since the divorce rate in this country hovers around 50% for first marriages, and around 60% for subsequent marriages, I think you should reconsider. If your marriage ends in one of you dying, good for you. However, none of us has a crystal ball.

Second marriage for me and the first for him. My first husband died. I take my vows very seriously. Marriage takes work and commitmet! Divorce is not an option.

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

People can change. One may take the vows seriously, and the other may not. You start out that way, hope for the best and plan to stay together. Stuff happens.

If you both have a lot of assets, I think it's both your interests to do the post-nup. Yes, I would if it was me.

Caaareful Shopper · ‎10-09-2012

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a romantic -- and congratulations on your recent marriage! -- but try to see it as "love is love," and "finances are finances." If neither of you had any assets to speak of, you wouldn't have needed the attornyes to set up trusts in the first place. Do whatever feels right to you, but since you asked --- take the attorneys advice! It's totally separate from loving each other and staying together or not. This way, the finances are taken care of intelligently, and you have nothing to worry about. I totally disagree that it means you are planning to divorce by signing it.

But what do I know. I divorced my husband years ago and he had absolutely nothing. I even gave him money for a used car with his promise to roll straight out of town and not look back. Never a better dollar spent. I digress. So I was never faced with your dilemma.

Spinach · ‎03-29-2010

My husband is not asking for one. He didn't ask for a pre-nup either. He has a lot more wealth than I do!

MacDUFF · ‎05-29-2015

Would I sign one? Not in a million dollars...I mean years! A million years!

~~~ I call dibs on the popcorn concession!! ~~~

Fressa · ‎03-20-2012

Life has taught me that things change and nothing is for certain. I didn't believe in prenups or post nups for the majority of my life. Now I have learned after two costly divorces that these are necessary. I do hope that you never have to experience what I did and these papers become worthless documents but as we get older in life we need to take a few minutes to think about our own well being and the what-it's of the futrue. I would have one now at this age.