Off Topic - Page 7

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

It seems buying the new house is the right decision. Consider five years from now, would you still want to remain where you are? Would the memories be a comfort or prevent you from moving forward?

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@SilleeMee Many years ago a single mother with two kids lived next door. The boy had learning disabilities, not sure about the little girl. One late night, like 11:00 ish I heard noise outside. I got out of bed and the two kids were playing in the yard and the street! Mom had left they at home alone while she worked...I did call the police.

From what I learned after the fact the house was a total disaster, so bad they had to move out and she bought another house in a different neighborhood and the same thing happened. Some people should not have kids.

River Song · ‎03-15-2010

@gidgetgh ,

From one widow to another, do not buy the new house unless you are 2000% sure it's the right decision.

You can make lists of pros and cons until the cows come home and rationalize it all you want. But, your waffling and indecision is telling me that you are not quite ready to move out of your home. Listen to your gut and you will make the right decision.

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
@gidgetgh

It seems buying the new house is the right decision. Consider five years from now, would you still want to remain where you are? Would the memories be a comfort or prevent you from moving forward?

@occasionalrain - and that exact thing is the question.

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

kittykatkay · ‎02-25-2011

@gidgetgh wrote:
@Kachina624 wrote:
@gidgetgh I bet you're living in a large family home and no longer need the space or want to clean and maintain it. Moving to a smaller space would be a freeing relief IMO. I'd do it in a heartbeat. Make new memories.

@Kachina624 -yeah.. 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, full unfinished basement, 2 stories (the stairs are coming a problem for me, at least temporarily), just over 3,000 square feet. And this house has had some costly issues the last few years (but all houses can have issues). Just a lot of memories here though and my husband and I worked like dogs to get this house, not just work wise, just a lot of factors to get our old house sold (neighborhood was transitioning to more commercial or office, but they wouldn't give us all the zoning for it) and it was just such a multi year process to get this house and we loved it from the moment we saw it. And, despite the issues, I love it still, but I'm ready for one story and maintained yards.
It's just really hard to leave it psychologically. I apologize for getting so deep, but it's just another acknowledgement that my marriage is over and I'm alone. And it's hard. And I just wonder how I'll feel driving past it all the time and knowing it's not mine/ours anymore.

Bottom line is I don't want to screw up such a large decision. I want to be clear headed and look forward to it and not wonder if I've made a mistake.

@gidgetgh .....I don't know how old you are, and I don't know your health situation.....but, I think with what you posted about getting up and down the stairs and maintaining the large house and yards is a concern, then it will only get more difficult for you in time to manage.

I think you would probably be happier if you would use your energy to enjoy your family, friends and less stressful activity in caring for a larger home and take care of YOU. Your memories are something that will be with you forever and that is something that no one can take away or money can not buy.

I think it would be exciting for you to live in a new place without as much work. Sure....you will pass by your old house, but when you do you will have all sorts of emotions....tears,sadness, love, laughter and big ole smiles. Always remember that your dear departed husband will be with you no matter what you decide to do. I think you should go for it. Let us know what you decide.

Diamonds22 · ‎03-09-2010

@kittykatkay wrote:
@gidgetgh wrote:
@Kachina624 wrote:
@gidgetgh I bet you're living in a large family home and no longer need the space or want to clean and maintain it. Moving to a smaller space would be a freeing relief IMO. I'd do it in a heartbeat. Make new memories.

@Kachina624 -yeah.. 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, full unfinished basement, 2 stories (the stairs are coming a problem for me, at least temporarily), just over 3,000 square feet. And this house has had some costly issues the last few years (but all houses can have issues). Just a lot of memories here though and my husband and I worked like dogs to get this house, not just work wise, just a lot of factors to get our old house sold (neighborhood was transitioning to more commercial or office, but they wouldn't give us all the zoning for it) and it was just such a multi year process to get this house and we loved it from the moment we saw it. And, despite the issues, I love it still, but I'm ready for one story and maintained yards.
It's just really hard to leave it psychologically. I apologize for getting so deep, but it's just another acknowledgement that my marriage is over and I'm alone. And it's hard. And I just wonder how I'll feel driving past it all the time and knowing it's not mine/ours anymore.

Bottom line is I don't want to screw up such a large decision. I want to be clear headed and look forward to it and not wonder if I've made a mistake.
@gidgetgh .....I don't know how old you are, and I don't know your health situation.....but, I think with what you posted about getting up and down the stairs and maintaining the large house and yards is a concern, then it will only get more difficult for you in time to manage.

I think you would probably be happier if you would use your energy to enjoy your family, friends and less stressful activity in caring for a larger home and take care of YOU. Your memories are something that will be with you forever and that is something that no one can take away or money can not buy.

I think it would be exciting for you to live in a new place without as much work. Sure....you will pass by your old house, but when you do you will have all sorts of emotions....tears,sadness, love, laughter and big ole smiles. Always remember that your dear departed husband will be with you no matter what you decide to do. I think you should go for it. Let us know what you decide.

I definitely agree 1,000% with kittykatkay post.

Queen of shop · ‎12-13-2020

Hi @gidgetgh I'm going to go full bore and say buy the new house. It will be a great opportunity before the price goes up and the builder is reputable. Don't procrastinate. None of us are getting any younger. Do it while you still can enjoy life with less to worry about.

I understand how you feel about your present home and all the memories. I do. I truly do. Make new memories. Sky's the limit. You will make new friends and still be relatively close to your old neighborhood. What more could ask for? win/win

Don't doubt yourself either. You are a smart and kind woman. I think your head already made the decision for you and that is great. Your heart needs to catch up and it will.

Did you ever have the thought that your dear late husband has sent this wonderful opportunity to you? He probably did. Run with it.

Please keep us posted. I wish you all the best, clarity and peace of mind.

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@gidgetgh My opinion, for the little it is worth and I said similar before when you posted about it...

I think there is a reason you are drawn to this new place. A reason beyond practical ones.

Your home now sounds absolutely beautiful. I think the time for you to do it is before you have to, you know? As we both know all too well, no one is promised a tomorrow.

All you are feeling is all just a part of grief. I think your husband is helping to guide you to a new positive time in your life. He goes with you, you won't leave him behind❤

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

tototwo · ‎03-09-2010

Actually, @gidgetgh, I envy you to have the opportunity to move to a smaller home. If it were me, I'd go for it. I've been wanting to downside to a smaller, maintenance-free home for about 5 years - but my husband won't even talk about it. Of course not. He doesn't have to clean and maintain this place!

These conversations got me thinking about waiting for "the ice cream man" when I was a kid. We'd stop whatever we were doing when we heard his music. The popsickles were 7-cents -- the drumsticks were 8-cents. A fortune!

Nothing but rain here the last week. There are toadstools in my front yard and puddles in the back. Thank goodness, not much flooding here. I need sun!

* A woman is like a tea bag. You can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. *
- Eleanor Roosevelt

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

@River Song wrote:
@gidgetgh ,

From one widow to another, do not buy the new house unless you are 2000% sure it's the right decision.

You can make lists of pros and cons until the cows come home and rationalize it all you want. But, your waffling and indecision is telling me that you are not quite ready to move out of your home. Listen to your gut and you will make the right decision.

@gidgetgh

@River Song pretty much said what I've been picking up from your posts.

My thoughts right after I was widowed have changed and morphed many times until today. It sounds like perhaps you are pressuring yourself into making a decision to move.

While it's your decision only one way or another, the timing may or may not be right for you right now.

Best of luck.

❤️