Community Chat

[LilacTree]

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@Zhills wrote:

Here in Florida, the law requires a 90 day advanced notice of a rent increase.

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@Zhills

That sounds reasonable.  But my new rent isn't due until April 2017, and I received the new lease yesterday.  That's four months early.

[LilacTree]

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@tansy wrote:

Does your rent include utilities, Ford?  

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@tansy

Nope.  But I often have a credit bill for gas (don't know why), and my electric is low, and this place is small, so utilities aren't a big expense.  The cable bill is though . . . I have to figure out a way to get the cost down on that.

[LilacTree]

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@Terri1920 wrote:

@LilacTree  Hi LilacTree.  Are you saying that you took a $1,217 jump in rent when you and your daughter moved in together and you are paying the whole thing?  Doesn't she get an alimony check?  I know it's none of our business but shouldn't she be helping you out?  I remember you saying that she gives you money when she can but that is an arrangement you never should have agreed to, knowing your circumstances.

If her sisters will help her out when you are gone, then why can't they do it now, so you don't have to make another move?  That would make more sense, wouldn't it.

Good luck with whatever you decide but I think moving again, with all your medical problems, is not the best idea.  I know your daughters will probably agree.

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@georgia1923

Her medical expenses are out of sight.  There is no insurance for Lyme treatment, and the costs are high.  She pays me most of the time.  I know my other two daughters will contribute, I hadn't wanted to ask them to because this was my decision, not theirs.  But I know they will, you are right about that.

[Moonchilde]

I have to say that these people who so very cavalierly advise/admonish "You need to move somewhere cheaper, even if it's out of state!" crack me up.

Really? At the age of almost 80, would *you* do that, *just* for cheaper rent and no other reason? AWAY from the family that pitches in to help when help is needed?

Rent in X city, or state, is "too expensive" so everyone needs to move away from there? You do understand that for those still working, the salaries are also higher than in low-rent areas? That's one reason why the rents are higher.

There may not BE a nearby town, or even state, with lower rents; they may be pretty much the same for hundreds of miles. "Affordable" rent may be (and usually is) in unsafe areas with high(er) crime. But hey, it's cheaper, so just do it, right?

Whatever one needs, "just do it"!  SMH at the naivete and ignorance, not to mention the tunnel vision.

[PrettyGerl]

I am an only child, my mom is 80 and has major health challenges. has.  LIke so very many adult children I am the primary caregiver 

for my mom, provide financial assistance and do everything I can to assure she is free from worry, stress, is happy as possible under her circumstances.  I work full time.  Iwould set myself on fire before I would just stand by and let her deal the way OP's daughters so.  Exactly what are they waiting for??  OP, no offence but if you are suffering the health issues you are, are not independent, footing the bills for your 50 years plus daughter...what are your other daughters waiting for in order to kick in and make life easier??  What if /when u are hospitalized or worse as a result of your health, an in home accident, another illness...then what?  You have a 50 year old something daughter totally dependent on you, treats you like dirt...what do the others do to make your life easier.  I'm sorry but they all have a lot of years left to live.  And now in this moment, they do nothing for you.  

[LilacTree]

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@PrettyGerl wrote:

I am an only child, my mom is 80 and has major health challenges. has.  LIke so very many adult children I am the primary caregiver 

for my mom, provide financial assistance and do everything I can to assure she is free from worry, stress, is happy as possible under her circumstances.  I work full time.  Iwould set myself on fire before I would just stand by and let her deal the way OP's daughters so.  Exactly what are they waiting for??  OP, no offence but if you are suffering the health issues you are, are not independent, footing the bills for your 50 years plus daughter...what are your other daughters waiting for in order to kick in and make life easier??  What if /when u are hospitalized or worse as a result of your health, an in home accident, another illness...then what?  You have a 50 year old something daughter totally dependent on you, treats you like dirt...what do the others do to make your life easier.  I'm sorry but they all have a lot of years left to live.  And now in this moment, they do nothing for you.  

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@PrettyGerl

I must have written that my sick daughter is irascible at times.  But she is very sick, and chronic Lyme affects the brain, so she's not who she used to be.  Her ex gave her a horrible life as well, so she's emotionally beaten down. 

My other two daughters will help me with the financial situation, and my youngest always comes on Sunday to clean the bathroom, vacuum, make my bed, and sometimes do my laundry.  She tries very hard to be helpful.  They both have very demanding jobs, and my LBI daughter lives 60 miles away.

I feel you think I am making excuses for them, but they do try their best and are very supportive of me.

[PrettyGerl]

OP Your "sick" daughter is 30 years younger than you.  MIllions and millions of people like her are suffering from all kinds of chronic illnesses.  Time is on her side and she can withstand a lot more than you can. TIme is not on your side.  You can make excuses, think you are not making excuses, doesn't matter.  What matters is reality.  No one is helping YOU, at least from what I have read that you have written.  I hope you get the help you need for yourself.

[Moonchilde]

@LilacTree, I wouldn't be concerned with a poster who decided that their very first post should be to chastise you (or anyone). Oy.

[LilacTree]

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@PrettyGerl wrote:

OP Your "sick" daughter is 30 years younger than you.  MIllions and millions of people like her are suffering from all kinds of chronic illnesses.  Time is on her side and she can withstand a lot more than you can. TIme is not on your side.  You can make excuses, think you are not making excuses, doesn't matter.  What matters is reality.  No one is helping YOU, at least from what I have read that you have written.  I hope you get the help you need for yourself.

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@PrettyGerl

They will help, I know they will.  I am confident of that.  I have asked for help at times and received it from them.  And I always pay them back 100%, so they know that.

You may not all know that all three of my daughters are self supporting with good paying jobs.  Two of them even supported their households when they were married.  My daughter who lives with me paid highly in a marriage that supported her, so I don't know which is worse.  Guess it's a point of view.  She was a hairdresser (and an excellent one), but she is too weak to work anymore.  The others were all college grads (with honors) and I have bragged about that before, so I will stop now.

[LilacTree]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I have to say that these people who so very cavalierly advise/admonish "You need to move somewhere cheaper, even if it's out of state!" crack me up.

Really? At the age of almost 80, would *you* do that, *just* for cheaper rent and no other reason? AWAY from the family that pitches in to help when help is needed?

Rent in X city, or state, is "too expensive" so everyone needs to move away from there? You do understand that for those still working, the salaries are also higher than in low-rent areas? That's one reason why the rents are higher.

There may not BE a nearby town, or even state, with lower rents; they may be pretty much the same for hundreds of miles. "Affordable" rent may be (and usually is) in unsafe areas with high(er) crime. But hey, it's cheaper, so just do it, right?

Whatever one needs, "just do it"!  SMH at the naivete and ignorance, not to mention the tunnel vision.

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@Moonchilde

No way.  As I said elsewhere in this thread, I am only thirteen months from 80 and have my disabilities to deal with.  I would never move away from my family at this age.  I moved to South Jersey and even that was a big deal for me at age 39.  But I had a very long term close friend here at the time, and it's really at the most a three-hour ride to some of my relatives who live near the NY and PA borders, like really north Jersey.

I will solve this because I always do.  And my daughters will be there for me.  As I said, 2017 will not be that big a problem.  It's the year after that and possibly the year after that, when I will need help, since my income is fixed.  But I will not look that far ahead.  I have to start learning how not to worry so much.