Community Chat

[JaneMarple]

On 3/11/2014 blackbirdraven said:

On 3/11/2014 JaneMarple said:

On 3/11/2014 blackbirdraven said:

I think the father has the right to be at the birth of his child..........as far as privacy goes, it wasn't an issue when she laid down to make that baby, so it shouldn't be one now..........father's have rights too....................................raven

Did you not forget that it's her body? She gets to have the say in the situation.

did you forget it's HIS child TOO....and he should get a say aslo.....like I said, there wasn't a problem what she or he did to her body when they made that baby, and as the old saying goes.........you play, you pay............................................raven

That's a very crude way of putting it, BUT she get's to have the final say! When he gives birth then he can have who he wants in the delivery room.

[foundinlv]

On 3/11/2014 Mersha said:

At the end of the day, the primary concern should be the health and well being of the mother and child.

If having the father in the delivery room would cause undo stress which could result in difficulties, he should not be there.

I think any reasonable person would understand the concern and respect the mother's wishes.

Again, beautifully stated.

[JaneMarple]

On 3/11/2014 Mersha said:

At the end of the day, the primary concern should be the health and well being of the mother and child.

If having the father in the delivery room would cause undo stress which could result in difficulties, he should not be there.

I think any reasonable person would understand the concern and respect the mother's wishes.

[occasionalrain]

I've never understood why women want a bunch of people in the delivery room.

A woman, married or not, should have the right to deliver her baby her way with whomever she chooses to be in the room or excluded from it.

[JaneMarple]

On 3/11/2014 occasional rain said:

I've never understood why women want a bunch of people in the delivery room. I didn't even want a nurse hanging around so I arranged to deliver my child at home with just my doctor in attendance.

A woman, married or not, should have the right to deliver her baby her way with whomever she chooses to be in the room or excluded from it.

[Dell1]

On 3/11/2014 Mersha said:

Dell, you are a strong woman to be able to get through the birth of your child and a divorce at the same time.

My parents divorced when I was very young and were not able to be in the same room together or carry on a civil conversation. You have no idea how devastating and painful that is for the children.

It is truly a gift to your son and daughter to put aside the pain and hurt of a broken marriage and come together to love and support them.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Mersha thanks for your kind words. I guess I am a strong woman but I just had to be. I had to take care of my myself, my son, and my son's older sister. I knew I would want custody of those two children so had to be strong and carry on. I do know how devastating it is for the children of two parents who can't be civil for my parents divorced in the 1960's and were exactly like you described. When I found my parents were divorcing when I was around 10 or 11 I said doesn't Daddy love us anymore? You take care and thanks again for your kindness shown to me.

[mistriTsquirrel]

On 3/11/2014 ~foundinlv~ said:

On 3/11/2014 blackbirdraven said:

I think the father has the right to be at the birth of his child..........as far as privacy goes, it wasn't an issue when she laid down to make that baby, so it shouldn't be one now..........father's have rights too....................................raven

When the relationship is solid that's different and there would be love, empathy and encouragement to the mom. But, in this case I think he just wanted to be there to make her feel badly about the whole situation and lose her center just when she needed it most.

I agree.

I think he is pushing this because it gives him a chance to see her at her most vulnerable, and in pain. He wants to push the issue, because he knows she doesn't want him there.

There is no reason he can't see the baby minutes after he/she is born.

The woman giving birth should not be forced to have a man she detests have a bird's-eye view of her lady parts when she is at her most vulnerable. It is demeaning and unacceptable.

[maryebrown_1]

On 3/11/2014 sidsmom said:

Steven Plotnick and Rebecca DeLuccia began a relationship in late 2012. Soon after DeLuccia learned she was pregnant in February 2013, Plotnick proposed marriage and DeLuccia accepted, but their engagement ended by September. They each retained counsel, who negotiated over Plotnick’s request to be involved in the pregnancy and in the child’s life afterward. In November, as the date of delivery neared, Plotnick filed for an order to show cause seeking the right to be notified when DeLuccia went into labor and to be present at delivery, among other relief.

Judge Mohammed, who sits in Passaic County, held a hearing Nov. 19, 2013, in which DeLuccia participated telephonically from the hospital, where she had gone into labor. He denied the relief from the bench. DeLuccia delivered the child later the same day.

Mohammed cited the doctrine of Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973), that women have the right to control their bodies during pregnancy. He also cited Planned Parenthood v. Casey, 505 U.S. 833 (1992), which struck down a state law requiring married women to notify their husbands before having an abortion.

In addition, the New Jersey Supreme Court held in Kinsella v. NYT Television, 382 N.J. Super 102 (2005), that disclosure of a patient’s hospital admission to the would violate the New Jersey Hospital Patient Bill of Rights.

Brian Schwartz, chairman of the New Jersey State Bar Association’s Family Law Section, says the decision “clears up the issue for once and for all that the woman gets to make that decision” about who is present when she gives birth, and is a “good opinion for moms to know they have a safe haven in the hospital.”

Sidsmom, thanks for posting "the facts" about this...I agree with the decision. The parents were NOT married, the engagement was off 2 months before the child was born, and the mother (defendant) had every right to give birth w/o the father being present.

I wonder if the mother put the father's name on the birth certificate?

[CouponQueen]

On 3/11/2014 Dell said:

On 3/11/2014 ~foundinlv~ said:

(((((Dell)))))

Thanks foundinlv. It's nice to know someone reads the posts and responds to them. My ex and I were at an IEP for our son. Our son was in special education classes for half a day. This was in elementary school and he got extra help for English, Reading, and Math. An IEP is a yearly meeting to see if the previous year's goals have been met that were set for our son. Then the school set new goals for the next year.

My ex did not come to all of the parent teacher conferences as he lives about 40 miles away from where my son and I lived at the time. Before the meeting started I was introducing him to the Principal, school Psychologist, our son's classroom teacher, Special Education teacher, etc. One person said you and your ex are here and you are sitting next to each other. My ex said we are both here for the sake of our son. Let's start the meeting.

What he said quietly but forcefully, let the staff know we may not be married but we could agree to work together for the sake of our son.

Our daughter, three years older than her brother, just had a baby boy in January and we were both in the labor/delivery room for her. Our love for her prevailed.

I applaud you Dell. I honestly don't know if I would be able to do that..if my husband told me 8 months pregnant he was done. We have been together since I was 16 and I think if anything like that happened - I would become ex-wifezilla..

I feel for you going thru that delivery and the new baby home and life is suddenly not what you had planned.

[TaxyLady]

I totally agree and I would be a women that didn't want my husband in delivery room.