Community Chat

[shorelady]

On 3/11/2014 Caravaggio said:

On 3/11/2014 JaneMarple said:

On 3/11/2014 ktlynam said:

The parents-to-be are estranged? Is he going to support this child and be in his/her life? If so, he has every right to be there at the birth of his child.

What does one have to do with the Other? If he supports the baby he can be there? and if he doesn't he shouldn't be? That makes no sense at all.

He has the obligation to support the child when it is born. He as a estranged spouse no longer has marital right to order his estranged spouse around. NJ law . I agree with the ruling.

As a resident of NJ, are you telling me that my DH of over 40 years has a right to order me around? That's what it certainly sounds like. Since when is it a marital right? You can't be serious. This couple was never married, so he is not classified as an "estranged spouse".

Some here have gone totally off the radar and insinuated he's a jerk, a drug abuser, a control freak, etc. without knowing the entire story. Just as that may be possible, so could the fact that she is just being spiteful and getting even for something. No one knows for sure. She probably will be tripping over herself to file papers for child support.

[raven-blackbird]

I think the father has the right to be at the birth of his child..........as far as privacy goes, it wasn't an issue when she laid down to make that baby, so it shouldn't be one now..........father's have rights too....................................raven

[Mersha]

On 3/11/2014 Dell said:

My ex-husband told me when I was 8 months pregnant with our son that after the birth he would be divorcing me. He must have totally flunked sensitivity training. LOL It was not so awkward in the labor/delivery room but not being visited in the hospital was awkward for me. Well it really wasn't the delivery room it was a surgery room because I had a C-Section. The orderly asked where my family was and I said take me to my room. He kept on insisting on looking for my family. I said please take me to my room. I had my son on Wednesday afternoon and my ex-husband was there on Sunday morning to drive me and our son home.

Our son is now 22 years old and even though we are not married we as two parents have raised this child. Gone to school concerts together, parent/teacher conferences together, graduations together. We have been there for him. It was not what I would have wanted but we made the best out of a horrible situation for the sake of our son.

Dell, you are a strong woman to be able to get through the birth of your child and a divorce at the same time.

My parents divorced when I was very young and were not able to be in the same room together or carry on a civil conversation. You have no idea how devastating and painful that is for the children.

It is truly a gift to your son and daughter to put aside the pain and hurt of a broken marriage and come together to love and support them.

Thanks for sharing your story.

[PurpleBunny]

That was sweet, Mersha ...

[foundinlv]

On 3/11/2014 blackbirdraven said:

I think the father has the right to be at the birth of his child..........as far as privacy goes, it wasn't an issue when she laid down to make that baby, so it shouldn't be one now..........father's have rights too....................................raven

When the relationship is solid that's different and there would be love, empathy and encouragement to the mom. But, in this case I think he just wanted to be there to make her feel badly about the whole situation and lose her center just when she needed it most.

[JaneMarple]

On 3/11/2014 blackbirdraven said:

I think the father has the right to be at the birth of his child..........as far as privacy goes, it wasn't an issue when she laid down to make that baby, so it shouldn't be one now..........father's have rights too....................................raven

Did you not forget that it's her body? She gets to have the say in the situation.

[JaneMarple]

On 3/11/2014 Free2be said:

Childbirth is such a profound experience never forgotten and always cherished (after the pain memory fades, lol). I cannot imagine any caring person inserting themselves at the event knowing they are not wanted.

If he wanted to observe a birth, go online or get a video, but don't be aggravating the mother-to-be. If she wanted to be generous, she could have a friend film it for him but that would have been her decision. He would have chosen to disrespect her feelings which says a lot.

[raven-blackbird]

On 3/11/2014 JaneMarple said:

On 3/11/2014 blackbirdraven said:

I think the father has the right to be at the birth of his child..........as far as privacy goes, it wasn't an issue when she laid down to make that baby, so it shouldn't be one now..........father's have rights too....................................raven

Did you not forget that it's her body? She gets to have the say in the situation.

did you forget it's HIS child TOO....and he should get a say aslo.....like I said, there wasn't a problem what she or he did to her body when they made that baby, and as the old saying goes.........you play, you pay............................................raven

[PurpleBunny]

On 3/11/2014 JaneMarple said:

On 3/11/2014 blackbirdraven said:

I think the father has the right to be at the birth of his child..........as far as privacy goes, it wasn't an issue when she laid down to make that baby, so it shouldn't be one now..........father's have rights too....................................raven

Did you not forget that it's her body? She gets to have the say in the situation.

As far as I'm concerned, his rights end where her body begins. Suqs to be a guy in this case, but we are the ones that do all the work so we get the last word in the delivery room. At least IMHO.

[Mersha]

At the end of the day, the primary concern should be the health and well being of the mother and child.

If having the father in the delivery room would cause undue stress which could result in difficulties, he should not be there.

I think any reasonable person would understand the concern and respect the mother's wishes.