My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again - Page 5

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I have been told by a love one ,just recently ,that they will not do ,gifts ,for any hoilday, including mothers day, birthdays, christmas.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

Being that I forget birthdays, and don't especially care about celebrating mine, I think @ScrapHappy is making way too much out of this. I understand you can't help feeling bad, but try to concentrate on her good qualities that makes you remain friends.

drizzellla · ‎03-14-2010

@ScrapHappy I have a very dear friend. We have known each other for 50 years. And she told me once how she gets upset that I have forgotten her birthday on occasion.

Her birthday is January 4. I have no trouble remembering her birthday throughout the year. But once the holidays rolled around all bets are off.

My husband goes away for 2 weeks during the middle of December. And I had a second job. So when October, November, December and the first part of January came around, I was working 80 hours a week. Plus my regular full time job had it's year end closing of the books December 31. I would end up having to work late just to try and keep up because the owner would always go on a spending spree the end of December. And part of my job was to get copies of W2 forms from all the new vendors in addition to paying regular vendors 6 months in advance.

My 2 brothers would come and visit for the holidays and bring their families. Generally they stayed about a week, since their kids were off of school.

I must admit that by January 4, birthday was pushed back in my memory. And I forgot her birthday all too often.

I didn't mean to forget her birthday and didn't want to. But to often it seemed that I did.

So now she no longer acknowledges my birthday. Which I completely understand.

And we no longer talk on the phone unless I call her. It is sad but I understand that too. We are completely different people now. She had no children and has only worked part time. She lives in a rural area on a mountain. She has no family. Her parents have died and so did her brother, her only sibling. Her life style is different.

It is sad. But it happens. I will continue to still call her and hopefully remember her birthday. But I think she has moved on. I am sorry that I hurt her feelings but sadly I can't revise the past.

Hope things work out better for you and your friend.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@goldensrbest wrote:
I have been told by a love one ,just recently ,that they will not do ,gifts ,for any hoilday, including mothers day, birthdays, christmas.

@goldensrbest I wish a friend of mine would do that. I don't shop now, no Christmas gifts to buy but for that one and at our age it is pointless. Most of us don't want more stuff.

A friendship is what it is. A card or a bottle of hand lotion doesn't change it. Or shouldn't. And I'm going to add that at some point, friends may get to the point where they have little or nothing in common or to relate to, and the whole thing sort of plays out. Nothing to talk about.

hckynutjohn · ‎06-15-2015

@ScrapHappy

I have friends that I have known for more than 40 years, friends! Most of them don't even know how old I am, much less my birthday. If I based my friendships on things like this? Guess none of them would be my friend, and I wouldn't blame them 1 bit. I wouldn't want to be friends with me either.

Was going to say maybe this is a difference in genders, however, my wife says very few of her years long time friends, even know the date of her birthday.

What to do? Guess that depends what things might be more important to you than a friend forgetting your birthday.

hckynut 🇺🇸

hckynut(john)

skatting44 · ‎07-26-2019

@ScrapHappy

My best friend of almost 50 yrs. We've never missed sending or giving one another birthday cards ! Was the sending of BD card to your friend a tradition began as a joint action or was it just initiated by you ? I think that I'd forget abt sending a card to her and just give her a call .

msgb · ‎08-30-2010

I would not take offense to it. I have had siblings in the past who have forgotten my birthday. There have been times in life that things happen and it gets away from you.

bikerbabe · ‎03-09-2010

If you have a good friendship otherwise, I’d say it isn’t an issue. Don’t get into a passive-aggressive “I’ll show you and not do anything for your birthday” response.

You mentioned your friend is in a medical profession. I am as well and half the time I’m just happy to survive another day. Some things don’t get done.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@ScrapHappy I'd like to share a story with you.

My mom passed away around 8 months ago. She was the person that (kept in touch). She kept it up till the year she died in....even when some did not reciprocate.... whether by phone or written letters. She was 92 and still had beautiful handwriting.

I can't tell you how many people (including the ones who didn't contact her much anymore) have told us since her death, how much it meant to them. She was an encouragement to all who knew her. Everyone says so.

I understand how it makes you feel as I have had this happen to me..... but..... seeing how many lives she impacted and hearing all the wonderful stories makes me think we should give people the benefit of the doubt.

I have been surprised at how many people don't care to keep in touch these days...even families, but we don't know where they are in life so, imo, I just do what I feel I need to do.