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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,515
Registered: ‎03-28-2010

My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again

The pas 4 years, my friend has forgotten my birthday 3 times.  She forgot again this year, remembered last year because we talked about it and forgot in 2020 and 2019.  When she forgets, there's no card, phone call or text.  We've known each other for over 30 years.  Haven't lived in the same state for 22 of those years.  She is married, no children.  The thought that maybe there are so memory issues has crossed my mind but she is in the medical profession and remembers and does so much.  What would you say or do at this point?  I always send her a card AND call her for her birthday.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,658
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again

I would say or do nothing.......

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,623
Registered: ‎01-27-2014

Re: My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again

As hard as it might be, I would suggest that you try really hard to not take it personally. Some people just don't do whatever it takes to keep up with others birthdays. Yes, I think it is inconsiderate of her, but it may not necessarily reflect her true feelings about you and how much she vales your friendship. Obviously there is much that we (as readers of your post) don't know......my point is that one would be wise to keep in mind that people are just wound up differently and your friend may not realize that her forgetfulness is hurtful. As her longtime friend, maybe you would want to have thus talk with ber...because she probably skips others' birthdays, too (like her family members). For whatever its worth, happy "late" birthday from me! Smiley Happy

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,539
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again

I probably would not say or do anything either.  Has she always been forgetful?  Maybe she does not put importance on birthdays?

 

If I acknowledge someone's birthday, I do not expect them to acknowledge mine.  I do it because I want to.

“People do, I don’t.”
Cosmo Kramer
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,701
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again

 Might be that after all these years she is more important to you than you are to her.

For her next birthday maybe just send her a text.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,291
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again

stop sending a card to her

 

as adults do we need or expect our peers to remember our Birthdays, 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,440
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

Re: My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again

I speak only for myself.  I do Nothing of a social manner in hopes of reciprocation. Letting others know I think of them makes Me happy.  I'm never expecting anyone do the same as me. 

Contributor
Posts: 40
Registered: ‎04-14-2010

Re: My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again


@candys mine wrote:

I speak only for myself.  I do Nothing of a social manner in hopes of reciprocation. Letting others know I think of them makes Me happy.  I'm never expecting anyone do the same as me. 


@candys mine  i concur wholehearedly.  I say "no expectations; no disappointments."  I also am an anonymous gift-giver. 

 

Keep being you Candys Mine.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,529
Registered: ‎03-15-2014

Re: My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again

I wouldn't worry about it.  if it bothers you, reciprocate by forgetting her birthday.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,658
Registered: ‎02-05-2011

Re: My Friend Forgot My Birthday Again

At this point in life I could care less if someone remembers my birthday or not. I have a dear friend who lives in a different state and I never hear from her on my birthday, but I always send a card on hers. I have another friend who sends me a card for every, yes every holiday. That I do not do nor reciprocate, just birthdays and Christmas. I'm one who always remembers birthdays and depending on the relationship I always send a card and call closer friends, it's just what I do.