Community Chat

[justmyopinion]

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@Lila Belle wrote:
My post wasn't argumentative. It's a fact. We all led a secret life away from home and kept secrets from our parents.

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Don't compare their secret, sick, twisted demented, evil lives (plotting to kill) with the rest of us. Perhaps you should speak solely for your own secret life.

[Noel7]

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@justmyopinion wrote:

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@Lila Belle wrote:
My post wasn't argumentative. It's a fact. We all led a secret life away from home and kept secrets from our parents.

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Don't compare their secret, sick, twisted demented, evil lives (plotting to kill) with the rest of us. Perhaps you should speak solely for your own secret life.

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That's not what she said at all.  Not even close.

[Kachina624]

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@chrystaltree wrote:

.....does she have a book coming out soon?  She's not an expert on the subject, she has nothing to offer anyone.  Her experiences are hers and hers alone; no two of these cases are the same.  I won't watch it....

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ITA with your post.

Yes, her book is due out Monday.

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@jubilant   You all "forgot"  to add that she's donating all proceeds from the bookbook. 

[jubilant]

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@Kachina624 wrote:

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@chrystaltree wrote:

.....does she have a book coming out soon?  She's not an expert on the subject, she has nothing to offer anyone.  Her experiences are hers and hers alone; no two of these cases are the same.  I won't watch it....

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ITA with your post.

Yes, her book is due out Monday.

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@jubilant   You all "forgot"  to add that she's donating all proceeds from the bookbook. 

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**********  How did I miss that!!!  I guess I just thought someone had mentioned it.  Thanks for saying something. 

[ID2]

I recorded it and look forward to watching it today.

[60sgirl]

I can't believe how some people are so quick to judge and lay blame when these tragedies happen. 

Some kids are shy, more introverted than others, don't like to talk much. Even grown people on these forums describe themselves like that. Those traits don't mean that they are plotting to kill anyone, neither do the opposite traits of being social, extroverted mean they are plotting anything sinister.

So what's a parent supposed to do/ Take their kids to mental health professionals because they see personality traits in them that they don't like so that might equate to doing something evil one day? I disobeyed my parents all the time as a teenager, going places they didn't want me to go could have had a bad outcome for me. But I was a rebellious kid and din't like what I thought at the time was just a bunch of stupid rules. I grew up and learned they were right. 

Even a parent who says they are all "up in their kids business" can't follow them everywhere, record their conversations, confront them on a daily basis about a behavior they (the parent) doesn't agree with. Sometimes there are signs of a troubled person and whether they are your children, spouse, neighbor, family member, talking to them and trying to get them help may or may not be productive but it is no guarantee that it will prevent a tragedy.  It's like reporting suspicious behavior to a cop. I've done that in the past and they just tell me they can't really do anything unless/until a crime is committed. We can't lock people away for their thoughts. 

I think this mother has had a terrible burden to bear living every day knowing her son killed other people. I feel such sorrow for her along with the parents o f those children who were killed. Grief is grief. Doesn't matter who caused it and who was the victim of it. A heart filled with pain is the same. 

[jubilant]

 I think it was an accumulation of things.  First of all, I am dead set against kids watching too much violence and setting in their bedrooms playing violent games.   Being exposed to this on a daily basis for hours has always been a great concern of mine. 

Also, it has been mentioned that PG 13 movies have much more violence in them now.  What is wrong with the so called "grown ups" bringing these kind of movies to 13 yr. olds for heaven sake?  Society needs to wake up and take some of the blame.  I'm sure there are some dead beat parents out there but Sue did not seem like one of them to me. We all make mistakes.  Not one person here has been a perfect parent so I dislike hearing them judge Sue so harshly.  It's not always the parents that cause a kid to go astray.  There are many other outside factors that can lead to what happened in this situation.    

[60sgirl]

in reading some of the articles on this story now I find it interesting that even the school counselors said this:

The counselor told ABC News that in a pre-Columbine world, he didn’t see the paper as a threat at the time.

Mary Ellen O’Toole said that one thing, such as a violent writing for a class, might not be enough to take action, but it could be a piece of a larger puzzle.

“It's not a red flag that would be indicative of someone-- absolutely going out and becoming violent,” she said. “But it's enough of a red flag to say, 'OK, let's get going. Let's take a look at this young person.'” (when  did Ms O'Toole say this? Now? or did she say it at the time?) that was not clear to me in reading the article.

Again, even trained professionals didn't do anything at the time based on some of his behaviors.  

And I also find it interesting that only the mother seems to be getting judged here, Dylan had a father, why isn't anyone questioning why he ddin't partake in his son's life more? 

[goldensrbest]

I think every parent of children nowadays,has information available to know the signs, that was not true from past years, there is so much in the news of killings,look what happened this week at a high school,  also because in a way we all see so much tragedy on the tv, if one is thinking of doing evil,they know their name will be known by all,parents need to be alert to their kids.

[brii]

I feel very sorry for her.  Not only does she have to live with the guilt that her son did this, but she lives with the sorrow of her own son commiting suicide and the kids and the teacher that he killed.