Community Chat

[Irshgrl31201]

It is so shocking how many people think they know everything that goes on in their teenagers lives. I had a good relationship with my parents and they were great parents who were very attentive and I kept so much from them. It was quite easy because as a parent if you don't have a child who is constantly in trouble, you have no reason to question everything they do. 

Were there things these parents missed? Absolutely and I am sure they will beat themselves up everyday for it but most people/parents minds would not even go to something as sinister as these boys were planning especially 17 yrs ago when school shootings were not as commonplace. 

I think these parents absolutely missed clues or signs but I don't find them to be negligent at all.  No parent 17 yrs ago would have ever thought their kids would go to school one day to murder or injure dozens of students. Teenage years are difficult to terrible for most kids as some point  and they become distant and irritable so attitude changes are normal and pushing parents away is normal during those years. As a parent you walk a fine line of supporting your child and letting them know you are there without pushing too hard and trying to give them the space they need to start to figure out problems on their own. 

Yes, NOW 17 yrs later most parents seeing schools shot up on a regular basis it is easy to say it could have been prevented because parents now know it is a very real possibility so they would look at seemingly normal teenage changes/withdrawal/irritability with more scrutiny.

It is just really shocking to read all these posters think they know everything or even most of what their kids are doing. That is just so naive.

[SydneyH]

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@Maudelynn wrote:

The air must be very thin on that self-righteous, judgemental high horse. 

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Aren't we supposed to 'judge' based what we know, or are you being dismissive because you don't like what's being said?

[hyacinth003]

I knew my daughter was troubled, but it had been ongoing since she was about 8 years old.

Although I didn't know everything my daughter was up to, it was my life's mission to know and work on it.  That is your JOB as a parent.

I haven't heard her story.  But, I can't imagine NOT knowing your child was very troubled.

Hyacinth

[Lila Belle]

My post wasn't argumentative. It's a fact. We all led a secret life away from home and kept secrets from our parents.

[Lucky Charm]

I only caught 30 seconds of it leaving my sister's house.

Did I understand her to say she was driving home to see if her son's trench coat was still at home? 

And did she realize it was her son and prayed he would die so the killing would stop?

My BIL had the remote in his hand and was sound asleep or I would have back arrowed what she was saying!! 

[Sunnyfield]

I am a firm believer that if a kid wants to do something, he/she will find a way to do it..  .I am disgusted with the self-righteous people who are so quick to judge!!!  Maybe all of you were perfect kids and never stepped out of line, but there are some of us who were "perfect kids" and stepped WAY over the line many times...our parents never knew...we were just lucky...

My heart goes out to Sue Klebold...I can't imagine the pain she lives with every day..she lost her beloved son...but the boy she loved with all her heart brough pain and suffering and death  down on so many others...

I have one son, and to be honest, I wondered many times if he was going to be OK...he had some struggles growing up - especially as a teen - but as of today ( he's 29) he's doing well and happy...

Personally, as a parent, I think you do the best you can, but it is a ****** shoot...just like marriage, there is some luck of the draw inolved!!

JMHO....

[Noel7]

What is it we supposedly know?

[Noel7]

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@hyacinth003 wrote:

I knew my daughter was troubled, but it had been ongoing since she was about 8 years old.

Although I didn't know everything my daughter was up to, it was my life's mission to know and work on it.  That is your JOB as a parent.

I haven't heard her story.  But, I can't imagine NOT knowing your child was very troubled.

Hyacinth

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Knowing they are troubled and knowing what they are going to do are two different things.

[muttmom]

As a mother, I can only imagine the hell she's lived since that day almost 17 years ago.  I want to empathize with her, but something about her makes it difficult for me.

We raised 2 children and much of the time while they were in school, my husband was working out of the country.  Between school, acticities and work, I admit there were days all of us barely touched base. 

The gun statistics Diane Sawyer quoted are frightening.