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Super Contributor
Posts: 399
Registered: ‎02-27-2015

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?


@KathyPet wrote:

I have such difficulty understanding people who post here that they have absolutely no one to handle their final affairs.  if you don’t have any family or don’t like the family you do have that’s one thing but no friends?  SEriously?  Who has no friends?  That is seriously sad.


Please have some compassion. Everyone's life unfolds in a different way. Moves, deaths, transportation issues, heck, even what shift you have at work, can all make it very difficult to have close friendships. And just because someone is a 'friend' doesn't necessarily make them able to attend to a person's final disposition. 

 

(I'm amazed by how many people seem to think that their negativity is a needed addition to a discussion.)

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,629
Registered: ‎06-08-2016

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?


@PenneyT wrote:

@KathyPet wrote:

I have such difficulty understanding people who post here that they have absolutely no one to handle their final affairs.  if you don’t have any family or don’t like the family you do have that’s one thing but no friends?  SEriously?  Who has no friends?  That is seriously sad.


Please have some compassion. Everyone's life unfolds in a different way. Moves, deaths, transportation issues, heck, even what shift you have at work, can all make it very difficult to have close friendships. And just because someone is a 'friend' doesn't necessarily make them able to attend to a person's final disposition. 

 

(I'm amazed by how many people seem to think that their negativity is a needed addition to a discussion.)


 

I don't have a friend I would burden/entrust with my final arrangements.

I'm a widow and many of our "friends" kind of drifted away after hubby died, as sometimes happens.   I have no siblings.

 

I've had several serious health issues come up & that takes me out of the loop as well.

 

I know a couple of people I could ask and I'm sure one of them would handle things, but they would do it out of obligation.    Too much to ask in my opinion.  I've done it, more than once and I speak from experience.

 

Bertween my attorney and my grown kids, everything is covered and I tweak things about every 5 years as necessary due to life changes.  If I didn't have children, the attorney can handle it.

 

@KathyPet

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,559
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?

[ Edited ]

Very practical, very necessary, and a nice complement to all your instructions in your will, trust (which is nothing but a set of instructions), etc. whatever plans you have made.  I DO NOT like the title, it is indeed tacky, BUT the information would be a lifesaver for whoever handles an estate. I have several books/folders to cover this kind of information which is necessary and not covered in your trust, will, etc.

I remember when my dad died, going through his desk and files for information since my mother had dementia and handled nothing..... He had things organized and his world had no computers or digital information, it was all paper files and much easier to handle. Dividing possessions NOT covered in a will or other verbal promises can become difficult if there is any tension and/or greediness among the beneficiaries, which did occur.

My father had a will and no trust, that is the reason I decided to set up a trust with all the appropriate papers accompanying that not only protects my assets, but my Estate Lawyer will make handling my estate easier for my son. I also purchased long-term care insurance years ago as a result of my parents last years; I am single and must be able to take care of myself in whatever manner is necessary. My life is very digital with much paid and handled online, therefore, I must be able to leave all that information for my son to handle, cancel, close out, etc. since he will be the one to bear that burden.  I have all my assets in the trust which is explicit, but it does not cover account#'s, passwords, on-line accts, computer program subscriptions, etc, etc, etc.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,111
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?

I know it sounds morbid, but I think it would be very useful for the family. I do think they could have come up with a better name though...although this title  certainly would capture someone's attention.

 

My sister has written letters to everyone in the family...only to be read after her death.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,832
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?

Great book!  I find it practical.  Much easier to have everything where you need it to go through the checklist than having to try to figure out what is where and who to contact, etc.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,298
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?

I placed my order and can't stop smiling about it.  It definitely goes to the crux of the matter and I'm all about dealing with reality and helping my kids do the same.  We have file folders and accounts they will need but this drills it down so they'll have one place to see where everythig else is including finer details that aren't in our wills.   None of my kids live close by so just having "where to go" instructions will be beneficial.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,856
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?


@shell garden wrote:

I think it's tacky, disrespectful and rather curt.  I understand the thought behind it, but the title needs to be changed.


@shell garden

 

What title would you suggest?  Just curious.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,369
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?

Lol. I love it! It’s totally the thing others would expect from me and might make them smile. Then, they need to get back to wailing over my loss!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,529
Registered: ‎05-08-2017

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?

I love it.

It's exactly my sense of humor and everyone who knows me will get it. Death doesn't frighten me nor do I feel it is to be treated so reverently.  It's natural and inevitable. 

 

I'm going to order one. I'm single, so I want to insure I don't leave a burden on my loved ones.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,741
Registered: ‎07-03-2013

Re: Morbid, Practical, or Tacky?

The title is tacky, but it doesn't bother me.  It's a tough subject for many.  My father refused to talk about a will until he was 80, then died six months later.  I had to figure out everything and make decisions the best I could.